FindingAvalon

"holy" crap

2011-11-27T14:09:00.001-05:00

i decided to check my email this morning before getting ready for church. i needed time to sit and drink my coffee and have a simple and easy task i could perform while my daily caffeine kicked in.

this is the first email i clicked on:

I just saw your church listed as a GAY friendly church on gaychurch.org.

To accept sexual deviancy as normal is a sin.

You put your soul in danger of eternal damnation for welcoming unrepentant homosexuals into God’s house. You blaspheme the Name of God.

Homosexuality should be criminalized. Homosexuals commit crimes against God, against nature, against the Holy Bible and against the human race.

Because of your church, I now know why God wrote:

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

Romans 1:24 Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves:

:26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:

:27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

SAY THIS PRAYER: Dear Jesus, I am a sinner and am headed to eternal hell
because of my sins. I believe you died on the cross to take away my sins
and to take me to heaven. Jesus, I ask you now to come into my heart and
take away my sins and give me eternal life. http://www.armyofgod.com

Rev Donald Spitz Glory2Jesus@armyofgod.com

i chose not to add it to my spam folder until i had a chance to add it here. now let me warn you that if you click on the link to army of god you will be taken to a home page with horrific pictures of dead babies and a "lovely" little rant as to why the murder of abortionist george tiller was justified. honestly, it is not worth looking at; just trust me and don't go there.

now what's funny about this email is that it was even sent to me in the first place. honestly, did they really believe that sending it would make me change my mind about homosexuality? did they really think that i would read this and suddenly "repent?"

it's also somewhat funny/disturbing that they found my email address at gaychurch.org. i couldn't find any church i served or belonged to on the list (although i'm pretty sure that at least one church i served was on the list at one point in time.)

what's not funny about this (and oh, there are SO many un-funny things about this organization) is the time and energy that was wasted in just sending out this email; time and energy that could have been spent legitimately helping someone. if nothing else it could have been time spent telling someone that God loved them ~ because that's what being a christian is actually supposed to be about.

luckily, lrns, my awesome brother had also sent me pictures of my nephew being ridiculously cute and adorable to temper my temper about the email from the "reverend" spitz. then i went to church where Jesus' love wasn't just talked about but also enacted by the people there. and yes, we have a gay couple at church and what's amazing is how much of a non-issue it is to everyone. the fact they they are gay just doesn't seem to matter at all - to any of them.

i thought about replying to spitz's email, but that would be a really dumb so instead i'm going to respond to it by continuing to live a life of acceptance and love of my neighbor - as best as i can - and encourage you all to do the same.

God's peace y'all

displaced, but not without a home

2011-11-06T06:57:00.003-05:00

Last Saturday as I was valiantly attempting to finish awedding/costume dress for my Meggles’ Halloween wedding a nor easter decided toreign terror down upon Connecticut. Since I had spent more hours fighting with my sewing machine thanactually sewing up to that point imagine my frustration when the power went outand I was unable to even hand stitch anything. This is what I get forvolunteering myself for so much, but Meggles’ is my long lost prodigal sisterand she and the short man started dating when she lived with us over 8 yearsago in New Jersey. I was there standing with her in my bathroom when she readthe positive pregnancy test that heralded the coming of the purple pixie. Beingback in one another’s lives is a really joyful gift and while I admittedly wentoverboard, I was not under any duress when I jumped.

I only discovered that they wanted to get married on Halloweenabout a month ago which was about the time that they decided to finally do it.Eight years and 2 more kids later they finally agreed that it was about time. Iwrote the ceremony, made the headpieces, boutonnieres, corsages, weddingfavors, and cannibalized my wedding dress to make a black and blue renaissancethemed dress. When I say that I was sewing up to the last second, well that’snot entirely true… actually I was doing her hair up until the last second.

It was amazing and totally worth it despite all the stressand they insisted that we stay with them until our power came back on at home.Living with 2 extra adults and 3 more kids under the age of 8 has been anexperience. Usually I wouldn’t volunteer to put myself in any kind of positionlike this because I would never put anyone else in the position to volunteerthemselves to have us unless they were biologically obligated. The SilentPrince is able to destroy any home within seconds. The short man walked intothe bedroom we’ve been staying in a fewhours ago, took one look at the wreckage and declared, “I love it!” Let me beclear that when I say wreckage I am not even coming close to accuratelydescribing the state of the bear cubs’ room. And the Prince has discovered howto climb up into the top bunk.

It really sucks not being able to be in my own home,surrounded by all the things that make me comfortable and allow me to do what Ineed to do, but this has been truly wonderful. I’ve had a boost of energy thatI don’t typically have – I’ve even helped with dinner 2 nights in a row – evenafter a full day of stuff! It’s not exactly been a vacation, but it’s not easyto describe it in human terms any other way. I’ve been displaced before; I’vebeen unable to go home for all sorts of reasons in the past. It’s rare thatI’ve been in this kind of position and still felt “at home”, but that’s whatit’s been.

And the best part is feeling like it’s also been true forthe people whose home it actually is. Hubby went home for the night so that hecould get to work tomorrow. A neighbor texted me to tell me that they wereheaded home because the power was restored about the same time hubby got a callfrom another neighbor that all our lights were on. When I shared the news withmeggles and the short man there was a combined reaction of that’s awesome andbut we don’t want you to leave. Hubby will return tomorrow and we’ll stay onemore night then head home sometime on Friday. It’s a relief that we can returnto our sense of normal and that we will be doing so with minimal stress becausewe’ve been here.

I’ve never believed that God causes tragedy in anyone’s lifeto “teach them a lesson”, but I do believe that God takes the tragedy in lifeand repaints the picture for us if we are willing to wait for the brushstrokes. My new picture has been of a second home coming out of a nor’easter.

God's peace y'all

oops

2011-09-24T09:17:00.001-05:00

well, this is embarrassing. i accidentally published my draft then was certain that i had gotten it to revert back from a published post to a draft. i then promptly forgot about it because i expected that i would get back to writing the draft - no worries.

except that my draft didn't go back to being a draft; it stayed a post without me knowing.

so if you read the post on autism and faith please forget it - that way it will be new the next time you read it.

God's peace y'all

autism and faith

2011-09-12T18:00:00.000-05:00

Editor's note: without realizing it i accidentally posted my draft so it's quite possible that some of what you are about to read you've read before. however, it was a draft and has been edited ~ so it is different ~ i promise! thanks.

after my last few posts, a seminary buddy sent me a message through facebook asking me about leading worship when there were children with autism in the congregation. i told her i would give it some thought and maybe blog about it then share it with her. chances are this is going to be an on-going kind of blogable topic and here's why: i believe that worship is a public event. it's something we do in a community outside of our private spaces; taking a child with autism into any public space in order to participate in a public event is incredibly difficult. the number of issues that you can encounter and risks that you face in performing such an activity are exponential.

if you are a parent remember what it was like to take an infant or toddler out into public. now triple all the preparations you made, add all the extras you would take along (diaper bag, snacks, bottles/sippy cups, extra clothes, toys, etc), then change the weight of your child to aproximately 60-70 pounds, make your child mobile, fast, 50 times stronger, and completely unpredictable. oh, and don't forget to factor in at least an hours worth of time for any unforseen melt-down, potty accident, just played-in-the-dirt-in-my-easter-sunday-best-now-i-need-new-clothes-on possiblity and that's what it's like to take my child out for a dinner at mcdonalds or to church on a sunday morning.

the question my friend asked about making worship more welcoming to children and their families is really a question that can be asked of any organization or business where public events take place. as the autism spectrum rate continues to grow i encounter more and more people working in service-type-jobs who get it. i'm always relieved when our waiter or waitress let's us know that s/he is closely connected to a child with autism when taking our drink orders. it means that they know we are going to need extra napkins and hot plates of food to be put on the table quickly and out of the prince's reach. and as a side note, we are almost always prepared to tip well because we know that we are going to need extra attention and that we will be leaving a mess when we are done our meal.

i know many parents who struggle with taking their typical child/ren to church and perhaps it's the same for parents in other religions. i get that it's not easy and there are many congregations out there that claim that they welcome children into worship, but really don't have any clue how to actually do that or worse they say that they welcome children but actually do the exact opposite of welcoming in the way that they treat children and their care-givers. i get that for many families sunday is the only day left in the week to sleep in (personally i see that as a cop-out, but that's just me.) i also know that i'm really blessed by being a part of a congregation that does welcome children and loves my kids. i know this by the way they interact with both the prince and the princess.

it's that interaction that makes the difference. so what is it that they do and what can other congregations do in order to welcome autistic children and their families?

let me start by giving you some background.

first off, worship stuff is one of my (trying to say this without sounding cocky) gifts. i've written worship materials that have been used in lutheran congregations all over north america and most recently wrote materials for one.org (the organization begun by bono of U2 to end poverty). i'm not necessarily a big-shot or a household name in the liturgical field, but i do believe i can claim some expertize in the area. worship is a big deal to me and i could write volumes on my philosophies on how it should be done. to be a bit more brief, i believe worship is primarily something we do for God, but to make it autentic and real it should also be done in the voice of the people doing it.

sometimes we need to be taken outside of our comfort-zones, especially in our faith lives, but having an identity and knowing who and what we are needs to inform us when it comes to gathering as a community and acting out our purpose. if our purpose is worship then to make it autentic we need to be who and what we are when doing it. for example; a primarily spanish-speaking congregation is going to have difficulty if their worship rite is in german even if that is the tradition of the denomination. to be authentic they're going to sing spanish hymns and incorporate spanish traditions.

one of my pet peeves (and something i've certainly been guilty of) is when congregations try to be something that they are not ~what i have been guilty of in the past has been trying to make congregations be something that they are not. i'd like to think that maybe i've learned to first try and figure out who the congregation is then help them be that... but i digress.

the congregation that hubby is a pastor of has a lot of gifts; they have also had experience dealing with kids with autism before.

when i was still working as a pastor in a church i discovered that it was necessary to hire a sitter to bring the silent prince to church and sit with him on sunday mornings. my amazing church secretary had a daughter who was at the exact right age to babysit and she soon became our go-to sitter. the parsonage (the church-owned home that we lived in) was right next door to the church i served and she would meet us at church before worship and take care of the prince at church or at the house until hubby or i got home. it was a great arrangement and while taking care of my kids she decided that what she really wanted to do with her life was to work in the early childhood development field.

when i went on disability and began worshipping with the hubby's congregation i found myself frustrated by the fact that worship was still a great deal of work. i would look around at other parents in the congregation as they held their kids or handed them some cherrieos as they quietly colored in the children's bulletin and then jump out of my seat to chase the prince down the center aisle as he flung his arms around and made loud happy sounds during the sermon or the prayers.

sunday mornings were not meditative or rejuvinating and no matter what my therapist said it wasn't enough that i had brought him to church to expose him to the people and the people to him.

now lots of christians will say that sunday is their sabbath. i don't tend to agree. the sabbath takes place between friday at sundown to saturday at sundown. sunday is resurrection day and a completely different concept from the sabbath day. sundays are supposed to be a day when we act out what the resurrection means for the world. it is a day of labor - good labor where we act out our faith because we have been promised resurrection and new life.

some people in the congregation noticed that having the prince in church was not an easy task and they began to ask questions. those questions led a group of people to take care of the prince when i was supplying in different congregations. it was a wonderful set-up and took some of the stress off of hubby when i wasn't there. however, i still felt overwhelmed and frustrated on those days when i was his primary care-giver during the service.

parents of children with autism can have a hard time asking for help. maybe it's because we know that the kind of help we need can be burdensome. when we go to a family event it's hard to enjoy being with others because we need watch the prince and asking uncles, aunts, or cousins to watch him for a bit seems unfair; they are there to have fun too and watching the prince is incredibly hard work. the same is true when going to church. i know that the people there want to be active participants in worship. they want to sing the hymns and listen to the sermon. they want to be filled and fed with all the good things that worship can give us so that they can go out into the world and do those things that christ has called them to do.

it was one thing to ask volunteers to help with the prince when i wasn' there; it was another to ask volunteers to take him when i was there. - at least, that's how i felt -

finally i made the decision to ask our sitter if she would work for us on sunday mornings again. it made all the difference when i knew that someone else was there to be responsible for him so that i could listen to the sermon and participate in worship the way others did. and after worship i actually got to have coffee during coffee hour and have conversations with people. autism can keep family members from times of fellowship, something that i believe is part of worship. "go in peace, serve the lord." isn't a conclusion to worship, but a piece of it. fellowship- spending time with members of our church families is still a piece of how we worship God.

when our sitter made the move to another state we searched for another sitter who has been with us for several months now. she's been a blessing, but last week she informed me that she would have to give up babysitting for us at the end of the year so she could have more time to focus on school. figuring out what to do next is scary and frustrating. it will take months to find someone else and the process is more about luck than anything else. i've started praying; the first step in a process like this.

so now the question again: how can congregations be welcoming to families with autism?

more to come...

God's peace y'all,

amusement, orange wristbands, and generosity

2011-09-07T10:05:00.000-05:00

for her last birthday the princess kitty asked her fantastic uncle (because calling him her "great-uncle" makes him sound old) for tickets to lake compounce. we went last year when someone else had given us tickets as a gift. we had such a wonderful time and the best part was how much fun the silent prince had while we were there. the princess kitty, always thinking of her younger brother, wanted a gift that she could share with him so last saturday we put on our bathing suits, packed some bags, and made our way to the water/amusement park.

it started off great. the silent prince and his big sister had a blast in the water park. hubby and i were having a great time too despite the fact that the water was freezing. the princess kitty and i decided that we should take her brother up one of the water slides specifically for little kids. she and i both agreed that she should go down the slide with him, but when we finally made it to the top of the slide the attendant told us that only one child could go at a time (and i was too tall to ride) and that a lifeguard would be at the bottom of the slide.

the princess kitty went first and i put the silent prince into position. he's gone down slides before and he had just been on some of the other water slides. water gushes out of the top of the slide to help propel bodies down the slide. i gave the prince a "ready, set, go" and then a little push. he started off in the gush of water, went about 7 or 8 feet past the gush to the point right before the first real drop on the slide and stopped then stood up.

i yelled to him. i called his name. i ordered him to SIT DOWN. he just stood there enjoying the view.

if my first mistake was taking him up the slide in the fist place then my second mistake was not just going out onto the slide to get him instead of asking the attendant if i could just go get him.

i don't know how long he stood there as i kept insisting that i would go get him. at the bottom of the slide hubby was trying to convince the attendant at the bottom to let him into the kiddie-only pool at the bottom of the slides. the princess kitty, already upset that the attendant wouldn't let her ride the slide down with her brother, started to panic.

the attendant told me a lifeguard was coming to get him. i told her once again that i thought i should just go out and get him. i was at the point of saying "to hell with you, i'm going" when the lifeguard finally made his way up the slide and walked the prince back up the slide to me.

at the bottom of the slide i comforted the princess kitty who was now in tears and hubby and i agreed that it would have saved all of us a great deal of grief if i had just gone out and gotten him.

since it was still the beginning of our visit a quick recovery was needed. hubby took the prince for a walk and i took the princess for a raft ride that ended in an awesome waster slide. it made all the difference for the both of us.

no, that isn't us going down the slide

after a late - and very expensive lunch - we headed towards the amusement park rides. last year the prince loved one particular ride - the rainbow rider- so we made that our first destination. when we had been on the ride before i was able to get one of the best pictures ever of the two kids.

because it was labor day weekend and a saturday there were lines for every ride, including the rainbow rider. i held our spot while hubby walked the prince around. when we got to the front of the line there was one "teacup" left for the ride, but the attendant closed the gate before we could get through. she explained that she had to let two other girls jump ahead of us because they had a special wrist band.

as the two sisters walked past us i immediately knew that the younger girl was autistic.

hubby continued walking the prince and the mom, attendant and i quickly struck up a conversation about the bright orange wristband. the the younger daughter was indeed autistic and had difficulty waiting in lines. if i went to guest relations they would give the silent prince one too which would allow us to go to the front of every line and ride the same ride twice in a row if we wanted. i then told her about how he had stood up in the middle of the water slide.

"that was your son? you know, when i saw him i said to my daughter, 'i bet he's autistic.'"

at guest relations the dad in line in front of us struck up a conversation with us about getting the wristbands. apparently the park trains their staff on interacting with families of children with autism. we had a nice chat and both our sons said hello to each other. when it was his turn to go to the window he let us skip ahead of him, i think it was probably obvious to him that the prince was completely done with waiting.

i now know that lake compounce partners with autism speaks every year and even has an autism awareness day each year. this is something i'm going to remember for next june.

the wristband made all the difference. honestly, i felt like a vip being able to go to the front of every line. of course the silent prince only tolerated the wristband for about 5 minutes before insisting on getting it off of his wrist at which point i simply tied it onto a hair-tie that i wore around my wrist.

it was such a great day that we stayed until the park closed, something hubby and i had been adamant about not doing.

the princess kitty saved the summer for me- for all of us. back in may, when she pondered what she would ask for from her fantastic uncle she wanted something that we could use as a whole family. talk about perspective! (see my previous post) being able to include her brother in things we do makes her happy. finding a place where we can actually do that is a challenge. but all of us left the park that day feeling positive, happy, and content.

i had expected and prepared for a high-stress day. i expected that i would be a miserable mess on the ride home. i was certain that i would go to bed that night bemoaning the fact that family outings are near impossible for our household. instead my whole perspective on the summer was set right again.

it is all thanks to the generosity of my daughter and her fantastic uncle.

peace y'all

damn those starving children in africa

2011-09-05T12:46:00.000-05:00

if you were a child who didn't like eating their vegetables you probably heard this at one point in time, "finish your dinner; there are starving children in africa." i can't really remember having heard my parents pull that one on me, not because i always ate all my dinner, but because they weren't really the type of parents to guilt us kids into getting things done - at least not that overtly. it could also be that on some occassion my brother or i was smart enough to respond with the ultimate retort to that statement: "so why don't we send them the rest of my dinner?"

i've been complaining way too much which was not what my intention was in restarting this blog. part of me wants to feel guilty. how could i possibly complain about a hurricane cutting my vacation short when people have died from it or lost their homes? i should be more positive; i should consider all the good things that have happened; i should focus on all my blessings afterall there are starving children in africa.

sometimes perspective helps. take for instance waiting in line at the walmart. there was one customer between the customer at the register and me when there was a price check. when that transaction was finally completed the cashier apologized profusely for the wait (which had only taken about 2 minutes). the woman ahead of me assured the cashier that all was well and i agreed. there are far bigger issues to worry about than an extra 2 minute wait in a place where one expects to wait... afterall, there are starving children in africa.

and the sad part was how suprised and apreciative the cashier was that we had that perspective. according to him most people would have been in a screaming fit by the time they reached the register.

sometimes perspective doesn't help at all. yes, there are starving children in africa, but in the right now life is unbearable. for example, at about the same time hurricane katrina hit we were all displaced from our home because the silent prince had almost died from lead posioning. the 4 of us were living in a 2 bedroom apartment with the dog and 2 cats. it was a crappy apartment, we had no cable, internet, or cell service- therefore no entertainment- and we couldn't go back home until the house was completely abated. ok, not the superdome, but it was horrible and sent me into a deep and dreadful depression that lasted for years and left me on long-term disability. perspective - what perspective?

i'm reminded of a quote someone once shared with me: "People who think of others first will have great troubles, but they will seem to them small. People who think of themselves first will have small troubles, but they will seem to them great."

everyone loses perspective occasionally; people are, by nature, selfish creatures. what makes the difference, at least in my opinion, is to try to be the kind of person who thinks of others first and to give yourself a break on those occasions when you do lose perspective.

and sometimes perspective doesn't really matter. there are times when it's completely and totally ok to wallow in your own misery, to bitch and complain, weep and wail, and say to hell with those starving children in africa. the trick is not to live life in that place, but to live in a place where you remember that you don't hold the patent on pain. living in that place takes practice and intentional giving.

intentional giving is simple generosity: give to a cause on a regular basis; practice simple acts of kindness; be nice to cashiers and make it a habit.

i admit that i am a selfish being, but being a habitual giver is the thing that always puts my life back into perspective when i've been complaining too much, wallowing too much, weeping and wailing too much. it doesn't dismiss my pain or make it meaningless. it doesn't inflict guilt upon me because i focused on myself instead of others when i was hurting deeply. it allows me to hurt and then helps me to heal.

it gives me back a knowledge of my blessings and helps me believe that i am indeed blessed.

God's peace y'all and many many blessings!

christine

sigh

2011-08-30T16:50:00.000-05:00

as long as you don't mind me complaining about my life...

we still have no cell service even though i was startled awake at 2:00am when a sudden bar of connectivity produced several text and voicemail alerts to emminate from my phone which was right next to my head. it hasn't worked since.

i've been dreaming of all the things i get to do when the kids return to school on tuesday (also my 15th wedding anniversay). simple things like finishing a book, or enjoying time to myself, or getting into the silent prince's room to clean it up. we got the alert today that schools won't open until next tuesday because too many places in town are without power.

and speaking of my anniversary... i have been telling hubby that i wanted to see cowboys and aliens ever since i happened upon a preview on line. i've waited all summer in hopes that it would still be out and we could see it on our annivesrary. the last showing of it anywhere in our area is tonight in about an hour. so much for that idea.

as i've said before: if i'm wrong and it isn't resurection, but reincarnation then i must have been a real bitch in my past life.

God's peace and good karma y'all

come on irene

2011-08-29T13:19:00.000-05:00

the sun is now shining outside my door and i feel almost guilty for having complained so much about my vacation being such a wreak when so many people were affected by irene.

we made it home on saturday after spending another night in a hotel in easton, pa. i battened down the hatches as hubby ran to the store to buy up whatever was left on the shelves. i spent pretty much all of yesterday sleeping and trying to recover from the trip. my body still aches from the stress, weather, and the battening down, but that's how it goes.

typically i try to look on the bright side of things; looking at the positives keeps me from completely falling apart. i was able to spend lots of quality time with znephew and my mom; swimming in the pool with the silent prince who became fearless in the deep end by the second day; my fabulous sil made me scones when there were no more pop tarts; i hung out in the hot tub with my brother; and ate really good food even if we never had a chance to go out for a meal.

i'm still dissapointed by all of it. this was the first time i have left one of our vacations without looking forward to the next one. we were all just too busy getting out of the obx house to think about the things that were wonderful.

i didn't take very many pictures on vacation. i suppose i thought there would be more time to do picture taking, but i did take some:

the silent prince with his ipad

the princess kitty in the front seat

znephew standing on his own with gmom

God's peace y'all

spotsylvania

2011-08-29T12:39:00.001-05:00

really, that's an actual place. i know this because i am currently at a country inns & suites in spotsylvania, va.

it's not exactly where i expected to be this evening. i thought that i would be at a nice vacation house in kitty hawk, nc on the outerbanks enjoying a night out with my brother and sister-in-law. maybe we would have agreed upon a movie at the only theatre on the banks; maybe we would be having too much fun eating good food and drinking way-too-expensive funky drinks; maybe after dinner we would have headed home and taken a swim in the pool or sat in the hot tub. i would have shown off whatever beautiful bag that hubby bought me at the coach outlet for our upcoming 15th wedding anniversay

maybe we would have eaten the left-over cake that the princess kitty and i worked on most of yesterday to celebrate z-nephew's 1st and 1/12th birthday.

but i'm in spotsylvania, va. the cake was never even cut into. it's possible that it was thrown in the trash. i asked both hubby and my dad to deal with it when i wasn't witness to it. i threw the dollor store birthday decorations in the trash this morning. i have no new coach bag; i have a keychain that i got at a surf shop on monday.

irene sent us packing after a mandatory evacuation for all visitors to the obx was put into effect at 8am this morning. at least we heard about it last night... just enough time for the princess kitty to turn into a puddle of uncontrollable tears- enough for both of us - just enough time to get yet another (this would be the 2nd time we changed her ticket) plane ticket for our terrific-texan sitter- just enough time to find a hotel room -really cheap - in spotsylvania, va.

the hotel is very nice, got great reviews on priceline, and is attached to a denny's so we could grab some food before check-in. it also has an indoor pool- so i would be able to take the kids swimming, which we should have been doing on a PERFECT beach day, but couldn't because we had a mandatory evacuation this morning.

denny's was actually yummy and check-in easy. we put all our junk on one of those carts and i was just putting the milk in the mini-fridge when the alarms sounded.

yes, gentle readers, alarms.

being the mom that i am- i was certain that the silent prince had set them off somehow. as i told the women behind the front desk, it wouldn't have been the first time. but it was most likely the boom of thunder or one of the bolts of lightening now going off that had set off the alarms.

the firetruck coming to see what all the ruckus was about

it's been storming ever since. seriously.

at least the pool is open until 10 so there is still a shot that i can take the princess kitty swimming before bed.

God's peace y'all

this is my life - deal with it!

2011-08-10T10:22:00.003-05:00

life is difficult. it's one of those lessons we learn as children and grow older. usually it begins with the lesson: life isn't fair, but as we mature the lesson also matures. i've come to bemoan the fact that nothing is ever easy, even the stuff in my life which should be easy is usually complicated and difficult. there are all sorts of reasons for this. I could list them all, but that isn't the point of this post.

the point is that i do own big girl panties and i wear them on a regular basis. i might compain or procrastinate, but i put them on and deal with what needs dealing with every day. when things don't get done - well there are only so many hours in the day and only so many of them when i am capable of doing everything that needs doing.

the point is that my dear hubby also owns big boy undies and he wears his everyday too. sure there are lots of times when he puts pj pants on top of them, but he works a full-time job, and still gets the kids on the bus every morning and makes dinner for us every night. he deserves a break and rarely ever gets the kind he deserves.

the point is that my 12 year old princess kitty has her own big girl panties and despite the fact that they are several sizes too big for her she wears them regularly and keeps them up. she fights to be an actual kid, but you can tell by looking into her eyes that she's tired of grown-up responsibilities and worries.

the point is that my 9 year old silent prince is still in diapers. he doesn't wear big boy undies and who knows if he ever will. do i wish this fact was different? do you think it's been easy changing diapers for the last 12 years? do you really think that i'm looking forward to trying to clean his poop when he's 11? 15? 21?

so the real point is don't make it harder on me - or on us. if you want to help- OMG thank you, but don't think that you are being helpful by telling us what to do or by judging what we are already doing. we are already doing more than we can handle and all of us are more than willing to explain why we

have a lock on his door - so he won't play in traffic in the middle of the night or empty the contents of the refridgerator onto the kitchen floor when we have to go to the bathroom -

don't put any furniture in his room - because he literally destroys it and sometimes hurts himself in the process -

have special wall board on his walls - because he's a smearer and poop is hard to clean off of drywall -

don't come visit - because your home isn't silent prince-proofed and we will feel horrible when he destroys, unintentially, all the nice things you have -

have a messy home - because we could spend 24 hours a day cleaning up and it would still get trashed when he plays

don't just send him away to a residential home - because even though it might make life easier on a day to day basis we need his smile, and kisses, and laughter to be a complete family.

and we are doing the very best that we can. we would love the help, but the system is set up so that it's near-impossible to get it and i don't have that extra 10 hours a day to wait on hold with one government agency only to be told that they don't do that so i will have to call the government agency that i was on hold with 10hours the day before who told me that they didn't handle those kinds of cases and i would need to call the government agency i was on the phone with now. (what, you didn't understand that sentence? welcome to social services!)

sigh

God's peace y'all

still searching

2011-08-06T09:55:00.003-05:00

avalon, it seems is not so easy to find. it is elusive and the pathway there is rocky and filled with battles of all kinds. i chose avalon because it is perhaps my favorite mystical literary places. the only other one that comes close is narnia. but there is a difference between arriving in avalon and arriving in narnia.

being transported to narnia just happened. the sons of adam and the daughters of eve simply passed through a doorway and poof, there they were. it only happened when they were doing the ordinary and not expecting it and it only happened when they were needed. narnia was a world of wonder, magic, and beauty it was also a world in need and they were called when a great evil arose that needed to be conquered.

avalon always seemed, to me, to be a reverse of that. one reached avalon after the battle, after the trial, after the heartache. it wasn't heaven, but a resting place to be rejuvenated and healed so that one could return to the other side of the lake with the knowledge, strength, and proper weapons needed to continue the fight.

sometimes i think i make it there, but it always seems like too brief of a moment. i reach it's shores only to be called back to the real world. i get the quick fix, the band aid on the wound before returning to the front line. or i get there only to be handed the magical weapon, but then i'm sent back without the proper training on how to use it.

it all seems so bleak, doesn't it? and yet i keep searching.

tomorrow i'm supplying at one of my favorite congregations. they are always so happy to have me there and i feel comfortable being there. i enjoy them and they always seem to enjoy me. the gospel reading is matthew 14:22-33 . the quick version of the story is that the disciples are on a boat, in a storm. suddenly they see jesus walking on the water and peter tells jesus to comand him to walk on the water to where jesus is. peter starts walking, but before he can reach jesus the waves and the storm scare him and he starts to sink. he calls out for jesus to save him and immediately jesus reaches out his hand to him.

i believe i can walk on water, not literally of course, but i believe i can fight the necessary battles. i can be strong and courageous; slay the dragons; and rescue the damsal in distress, but there are times ~ so many times ~ that i am suddenly too aware of the storm raging around me and i start to sink.

fear and doubt should never be the end of anyone's story. when morgan le fay takes king arthur's mortally wounded body to die and be buried in avalon his tombstone reads "here lies arthur the once and future king" and his story lives on and on in constant hope.

hope is the conqueror of fear and doubt. hope begets faith and faith begets hope. when faith falters, hope reaches out it's hand and when hope seems lost... faith pulls it back into existence.

i have faith in God and in restoration and i continue to hope that in my quest to find avalon i will experience sacred moments and witness wonders.

may you all have those same moments in your quests-

peace y'all

christine

world austim awareness day

2009-04-02T09:54:00.001-05:00

peace y'all

the 10th anniversary of my 29th birthday

2009-03-31T09:36:00.002-05:00

well, it has finally happened... i turned 39. since the numbers 3 and 9 are my favorites i am expecting this year to be fantastic. (i can dream can't i?)

i planned on a simple ordinary day, but now the silent prince is coming home from school. he has another ear infection that just won't go away and he just doesn't want to be at school. hubby suprised me with flowers and if the prince is up to it maybe we'll go out to lunch later. otherwise i expect it to be a low-key day. the big bday dinner was on sunday with my parental units and my uncle who was visiting from boston.

about the new digs:

i think i have the nicest neighbors i've ever had since becomming an adult and living on my own. this is a plus. gardener, who lives next door loves to well, garden and just informed me that she has wildflower seeds for me and will be out this afternoon to rake my little hill and toss the seeds. i'm invited to participate if i'm available. music mom and cop dad who live on the other side of our place have been enjoying having the princess kitty come over to play with their one-year old. now if only gardener's dog and 'ohana would decide to get along we'd be fine.

and that's about it for today. i need to finish getting ready for hubby and the prince to come home.

peace y'all and happy birthday to me!

in the 60's

2009-03-28T16:44:00.002-05:00

the weather is finally starting to warm and i'm joting this down just before going to sit out on my porch before starting dinner.

little is happening. the princess kitty is playing with the 1yr old next door and the silent prince is napping. i have to take him to the doctor tomorrow morning rather than going to church because he is literally bleeding from the ears. (poor guy and those rotten ear infections.)

i've been vaccumming... wait, let me add a few more letters to that word: vvacccuuummming with our new toy (perhaps more about that later) and hubby is at work and will hopfully stop at the store on his way home.

and that's all.

i have thoughts on obama's special olympics faux pas, but i will save that for another day.

in the meantime... peace y'all

it's time

2009-03-27T09:32:00.002-05:00

it's time to start writing again. so much has happened since july 2008. i no longer work at the church where i was a pastor. we've moved to a new home. and i turn 39 on tuesday.

i've gone on disability. it's not that i had a mental breakdown, but i had a mental breakdown. i wasn't being effective at anything and it was time to let go of one of my stressors. since i couldn't give up my family it had to be work.

so now i am a stay-at-home-mom with a sink full of dishes and laundry that needs to be put away. but that's ok.

i live in a beautiful new home and was just able to go sit out on my deck and listen to the birds which are braving the still cold spring.

and i need to start writing again. so here i am.

peace y'all

today's word is moron

2008-07-22T18:00:00.003-05:00

and that is all i have to say about that guy, well i could actually say more, but i try not to use words like that here and because my brother said some of them for me already.

God's peace y'all and perhaps a little understanding for kids with asthma and autism

thank you for the inconvenience

2008-07-17T09:49:00.002-05:00

years ago, right after hubby and i got married, we moved to newark, nj for the year to do our internships. the year we moved there newark unseated detroit or washington dc (whichever it was then) as the most violent city in america. we never had any problems and actually loved living there. perhaps only the way newly weds can love a tiny apartment with crazy landlords and car alarms going off throughout the night.

i would travel to montclair, nj for my internship. montclair is the complete opposite of newark. it was affluent and well-to-do. the people who lived in montclair were highly educated and worked in corner offices in new york city.

hubby stayed in newark and split his time between a new mission and a church which had been around forever. the new mission was tri-lingual: english, spanish, and portuguese. the neighborhood we lived in was made up of mostly portuguese and brazilian people (many of whom weren't here legally.) the other church was in the hood and the stories the people there could tell would break your heart.

i loved all three communities.

one day we were out looking for something to eat at one of the local eating establishments in the hood. i can't remember which one we tried first, but when we pulled up to it there was a sign on the door explaining that they were closed for one reason or another. it then said, "Thank You for the Inconvenience."

strangely enough the word inconvenience was spelled correctly.

it has become a catch-phrase with hubby and me. one of those in-jokes that couples have. he knows exactly what i mean when i say it and vice-versa.

i had the opportunity to use it last night to describe my experience picking up prescriptions at our local cvs. i have been having terrible luck with them the last few times that i have had to deal with the pharmacy. we keep talking about switching to rite-aid, but cvs is closer and right next to several other stores we frequent.

i had 3 scripts to pick up and it took them so long to wait on customers in line ahead of me that i also had to buy the gummy worms inconveniently located right in the sight of the silent prince who i intended to get dinner for immediately following picking up our scripts.

by the time we got out of there and bought our dinner and took it home the prince was no longer interested in eating because he had consumed too many gummy worms.

he was a sticky mess and i decided to feed him the several different meds that he has to take (including the stool softener that i had to get for him and the antibiotics that he has to take for his up-teenth ear infection since having the tubes put in.)

so i give him his abilify (which is working great) and the laxative (which still hasn't worked yet) and then i go to get out the antibiotics from the little white bag and the only thing in the bag are two liquid medicine dispensers. i look at the bag again and notice that the word "fridge" is written on the bag, meaning that the antibiotics need to be refrigerated and were most likely still in the fridge at the cvs.

i look at the sticky silent prince who is so ready to take a bath and go to bed and say, "thank you for the inconvenience."

we go back to the cvs which is conveniently located two doors down from the liquor store and decided to make a pit-stop. smirnoff now makes cosmos, mojitos, and pomegranate martinis already conveniently mixed in bottles... thank you very much.

back inside the cvs we again waited in line, but this time i didn't put the prince in a cart so instead we stood there turning in circles while 5 employees slowly waited on one customer at a time.

sure enough the meds were in the fridge.

at least i got a pretty good cosmo out of the deal.

God's peace y'all

abilify

2008-07-14T18:12:00.003-05:00

did you know that there are words that are copyrighted? i don't mean strings of words put together into sentences and paragraphs and stories. i mean individual words. i'm guessing the word ability is one of them otherwise the medication we have just started giving the silent prince would have been called: abiliTy rather than abiliFy.

we went to see the kids' doctor (fiscus) the other day. i periodically schedule these appointments because we never just get him when we go for sick visits or other little issues. he is an incredible guy and we knew from the moment we first met him that we wanted him to be our children's doctor. he spent about a 1/2 hour with us starting when he came out into the waiting room to call us back. i've never had a doctor do that before (with the exception of my chiropractor who really needs an receptionist.)

i had a list of things i wanted to go over with him including getting a prescription for pull-ups. (still don't know if the insurance will cover it or not.) one of the things that we wanted to talk about was putting the prince on meds which would help him focus and calm him down. the developmental pediatrician we had seen back in march had sugested doing this and we had finally gotten up the nerve to talk to fiscus about it.

he suggested that using something like riddlin would be counter-productive. meds like riddlin would help the prince concentrate more, but according to fiscus chances are he would start to concentrate on the behaviors we don't want him to do. autistic kids can become a bit ocd on things like riddlin and focus all their attention on things like banging their heads against a wall, or spinning, or flicking things, or any other stimming behavior that they do. (the prince doesn't bang his head... but he does bite and i'd rather he not concentrate all his energy on that behavior.)

so instead fiscus suggested that we try an anti-psychotic called abilify.

so far we are on day 3 and have had 2 side effects. the first side effect is that he has been a bit constipated. which means he has pooped once in 2 1/2 days. this from a kid who i have considered sticking a cork in his butt (only jokingly, don't call any hotlines on me) to keep him from going 5- 10 times a day. i think i have mentioned that poop is a major part of my life and i'd like to undergo a real life-change in this regard.

the other side effect is that every day so far he has taken a nap at about 4pm. he's sleeping right now. as i talked to the grandmom today about it she mentioned that he's really not too young to take naps. the fact of the matter is that he hasn't napped regularly since he was a baby. all this time... maybe he's been so hyper that he hasn't been able to nap when he has really needed to.

i'm really positive about this however. the fact of the matter is that i spent some time yesterday reading stories about people who put their autistic children on abilify and have seen unbelievable results. non-verbal children have even become verbal. and while i don't need my son to talk in order to love him or know that he loves me if this medicine is going to help him learn how to communicate better i will deal with the fact that he is napping in the afternoons and seems a little sluggish as his body adjusts to the meds.

he also has two loose teeth. i'm trying to figure out how i explain to the tooth fairy what to do with his teeth (whih hopefully will come out when i'm around and not when he's asleep.)

God's peace y'all

radio edit

2008-07-01T07:34:00.005-05:00

in high school i was in the drama club. my freshman year we did a play with a lot of profanity in it. (though i can't remember the name of the play i remember the entire story) the art teacher who also doubled as our set designer was a born again christian and insisted that we change most of the words to something else. basically we had to step down every word to another curse word. the f word was changed to "screw" the s word was changed to "damn."

it was actually pretty comical how many times we had to relearn lines for the sake of his sensitive ears.

panic at the disco is one of my favorite bands. they have a song called, "i write sins not tragedies" which uses the phrase God-damn.

i love words even words that can be very ugly and feel that there is an appropriate place for all of them, especially in art. i can also curse like a sailor, but there are certain phrases that i would prefer not be played on the radio and this is one of them mostly because my kids are exposed to the same music i listen to.

so the other day i turned on my car radio because i forgot to bring along my ipod and this song came on. i expected an edit. what i didn't expect was which word they would edit. at first i thought i heard it wrong. sometimes when they bleep out a word you can still sort-of hear it, but then it happened again.

apparently "God" is the more offensive piece of that phrase because that's the word that was edited out.

it was like stepping down the phrase... we did the same exact thing in our highschool play with this particular profanity. but if the purpose of a radio edit is to clean up the language of a song then why choose "God" to be the word they clean up?

ah well...

*bleep* peace y'all

some welcome

2008-06-30T07:30:00.002-05:00

i've been wicked busy since the princess kitty's birthday party and almost all of it was blog-worthy (especially the silent prince taking a hunk out of my friend's wedding cake before the pictures were taken.)

last week we spent in new hampshire at a place called camp calumet. we were all there (including the kids and mel our babysitter extraordinaire) for confirmation camp. which meant that we were there with a bunch of 12-14 year olds from all over new england. it was a great week and while there were some mishaps it went much better than i expected it to.

7 churches joined forces to teach all the kids about prayer and the kids really responded to what we were teaching. i talked about it in my sermon yesterday.

when we got to camp we were welcomed with songs, cheers, games, and an ice cream social. the next day when we gathered for our learning time we told the kids about a group of 16 year old boys who were travelling to calumet this week. there were supposed to be 10 of them from our companion synod the Evangelical Lutheran Church in Jordan and the Holy Land. they were going to be at camp for a week then visit with some families and go see new york city before retuning to their homes in palestine.

except that only 5 boys were granted permission from the israeli government to leave their homes and travel here. there was no reason for them not to be allowed to come except that they are palestinian.

the kids we were teaching made them prayer beads, enough to give to the boys left behind and more to others living in that choas. we wanted them to know that we were praying for them.

the next day we were given an update. the 5 boys and their male adult leader had safely landed at JFK to make their connecting flight further north but had missed the flight.

because they were detained, questioned, and strip searched.

and to make matters worse there wasn't another flight for them to take until the next day, nor was their a hotel for them to stay in so they spent the night at JFK airport.

let me just contrast these welcomes one more time...

ice cream social --- strip search

sleeping in a cabin out in the woods --- sleeping on a chair in an airport

the kids at camp didn't understand at first why these boys were detained until i jumped up and got on my soap box.

it's because they were from... palestine
and most people from palestine are... muslim
and most people believe muslims are... terrorists

we could see it begin to sink in. 12-14 year olds get it. at 12-14 years of age they understand what it feels like to be judged based on how you look or how you act or where you are from or what you believe. they get it and they were as horrified and angry as i was.

and i hope they remember.

God's peace y'all

everybody was kung fu fighting - panda style

2008-06-14T18:01:00.002-05:00

or... prepare for awesomeness!

even though the princess kitty turned 9 at the end of may we didn't have her birthday party until today. usually we do a joint party for both kids because they are about 1 1/2 months apart. this means that the princess kitty hasn't had her own birthday party since she was 2. (her brother was about 1 1/2 months old for her 3rd birthday).

she's asked for a theme party for years now and hubby and i have avoided it up until this year. i don't have any recollection of how i came up with the idea of a movie party, but that's what we did. she had 9 of her friends (though i was expecting 11) go to the movie theatre with her to see kung fu panda.

i've been stressing about this for weeks now. first of all... it's expensive. far more expensive than putting hot dogs and burgers on the grill and asking grandmom to bring a salad while the kids run around the back yard until it is time for cake.

at first we were going to see narnia; prince caspian, but wound up deciding that kung fu panda was a better choice. this is fine except that kung fu panda just came out and i wasn't sure of the exact showing time until yesterday. i put a deposit down weeks ago and was told that i could use the party room... no problem. i even stopped by the mall yesterday to make certain that we were all set since everytime i called or went by no one seemed very on top of things.

when i arrived there today with 10 minutes to set up there was another party going on in the party room. i was livid. i had been planning this for weeks and no one did more than write my name down on a scrap of paper and assure me that they would be ready for me when we arrived.

at 1:00pm, when the party was supposed to start, they were roping off a corner of the lobby next to the bathrooms and the video games for us to use and were setting up tables for us. i wanted to be mad, but the manager was so flustered because the other party was supposed to be there the week before and changed their plans and no one informed him that we were also coming. when i asked what my discount would be he told me he wouldn't charge me for the party room to which i responded, "that's good because i wouldn't pay you for the party room."

strangely enough after that everything was great. one mom stayed and they refunded her her money for the ticket she bought and moments before we were supposed to go in to see the movie they invited us to see a 3:00 showing and took us on a tour of the projection room where the manager showed us how movies are loaded onto these enormous projectors and then cut pieces of film and gave each girl a piece.

they then ate up $30+ (i lost track) of quarters playing video games and went in to see the movie each with a box of popcorn, drink, and skittles.

the movie was great except for the 1/3 of the middle that i missed taking girls to the bathroom. and best of all the princess kitty had a blast and said her day was, "AWESOME!" which fits perfectly with the tagline of the movie: prepare for awesomeness.

all the girls had a great time. and this just makes me so happy since the kitty has been having trouble with friendships in school. there weren't any spats or fights or tears. she even had 3 girls who she desperately wanted to come say they could come at the last minute. (one family had trouble with their answering machine and called us this morning hoping they could still come.)

and now one friend who she doesn't ever get to see is spending the night.

and i feel like a good mom who was able to make her daughter's day really special.

God's peace y'all!

HE DID IT!!!

2008-06-10T14:42:00.004-05:00

one of the worst parts about having a child who is non-verbal is knowing how to potty train them. how do you teach a child how to go to the bathroom if they can't tell you they have to go?

this means that potty training is trip training. you just take them over and over again and hope they catch on. the bad part is trying to catch on as a parent to when they have to go so that no big messes are made.

we regularly have to clean up poop. it is G0d-awful. he doesn't understand that he shouldn't play with it and if we are in another room when he goes...

... well, like today. i was sitting in the kitchen reading jenny mccarthy's book about her son evan. someone had just given it to me yesterday and i am almost done it. the silent prince is home early because it is so horribly hot out that they had to dismiss school early.

he was fine one moment and by the time i read the next chapter i realized he was covered in what should be in his diaper. i took him upstairs, pulled his clothes off and stuck him in the tub then sat down on the toilet to read and keep my eye on him.

and don't you know that little bugger was pooping again. in the tub!!!

i pulled him out and put him on the potty. i want him to somehow get the connection between the toilet and what comes out of his butt.

and he started to pee. well, he's done that before, but then he pooped.

it's hard to understand the magnitude of something like this unless you've been there, but at 6 years old that was the first time he has ever gone #2 in the potty for me.

i know that potty training stories are typically in the realm of things you shouldn't discuss in mixed company and so be it. but this is a triumph for me, a landmark, a beacon that eventually things will get better and i had to share that.

God's peace y'all

too hot

2008-06-09T13:38:00.003-05:00

it is currently 90 degrees out and gas prices down the street are over $4.35/gallon.

i woke up this morning with every intention of going to the Y to walk on a treadmill in an air conditioned room. it is now 2:39 and i am still in the clothes i slept in and taking a brief interlude from work to write this.

i have a visit this evening at 7:30 and i don't think i'm going to get showered and dressed until right before i have to leave otherwise i will certainly be sweaty and stinky by the time i go for the visit.

meanwhile my brain is slowly melting and the knowledge that i still have computer work to do, that i have to go to the grocery store, do laundry, and return a way overdue movie is beginning to drain out of my ears into little puddles on my shoulders.

hubby is going to have to put the ac units in the windows tonight. at least the one in the silent prince's room. we can only crack his windows for safety issues so it is ungodly hot in his room. the princess kitty has been sleeping on his trundle bed for the last week or so. (she goes through phases i don't understand) which means that she is adding to the body heat in the room.

you know... maybe i will go jump in the shower and cool off. maybe that will help me think straight.

God's peace y'all

the next best thing

2008-06-02T20:37:00.003-05:00

i guess the next best thing to losing weight is having people believe that you have lost weight. twice now i've had people tell me that i look as though i have lost weight. of course my weight continues to fluxuate within 5 pounds. my scale also does body fat percentages and those seem to be going down. i take this as a good sign because it means that i'm turning fat into muscle. and the bottom line for me is that i want to be healthy no matter what weight i am.

we recently joined the YMCA. they give clergy discounts! (who said there are no more perks to this profession.) my fantastic uncle gave the kids and us a 3 month membership to try it out. and so far we've been taking advantage of it. going to the pool on a regular basis is wonderful, but they also have treadmills and other exercise equipment i can use when it's raining. but today was too nice of a day not to walk outside. and i am proud to say that i did 3 miles in 50 minutes, which is only 5 minutes over my goal of 15 minutes per mile.

i also bought some new exercise clothes today. 4 pairs of capri length sweats. i want to wear shorts, but i hate how i look in them. it's the baby belly and the j-lo butt that ruin the experience of shopping for any clothes that cover from the waist down. i just can't bring myself to even think aout trying on any shorts that are "in" currently since none of them pass the fingertip test. (meaning that if you put your hands to your side the bottom of the shorts falls below your fingertips.) i was thrilled when i found the capris. they're comfy, light, and look great on me. i got two pairs in 2 styles for under $60 at fashion bug. funny how i never shop there, but everytime i do i find a favorite article of clothing to add to my closet. i still have a shirt that i bought there 2 years ago that i love and wish i had gotten in 4 different colors!

hubby made fun of the pants, asking me where the flood was. he thinks he's hip and with it (editor's note: i understand that using terms like "hip" and "with it" place me in a similar category as i've just placed hubby in, but so-be-it), but capri pants throw him off completely even though the stores are now full of them. of course being that i am 5'2" most capris look like full length pants on me anyway.

well, it is now time to go make lunches and dig through the piles of clean laundry for the kids' outfits for tomorrow.

God's peace y'all!

Memorial Day

2008-05-27T15:13:00.002-05:00

yesterday was the first time i have gone to the local memorial day parade. for as small as a town as i live in the parade is huge and draws people from all over the state. the princess kitty and hubby marched with her soccer team and the silent prince and i met up with two members of my church who were watching in order to see their vietnam vet march.

i was asked to to the invocation at the ceremony afterwards. (i almost did the invocation and the benediction, but the other pastor was there.)

i always find this task somewhat daunting, not because i'm out in public, but because i really want what i say to be meaningful.

this was my prayer:

Let us pray.
Oh God as we gather to celebrate this beautiful day, to enjoy a parade, and spend time with family and friends may we also pause to remember...

As we gather to remember all those we have died serving this country let us also be reminded of your steadfast love, your wondrous spirit, and your abundant gifts of grace and freedom.

As we gather to remember let us also gather in gratitude for all those who have fallen and in gratitude of the promise that you do not leave any of us behind, but collect us up into your arms.

As we gather to remember their sacrifice let us also remember your sacrifice so that we are encouraged to be generous towards others with our gifts.

As we gather to remember let us also gather to forget war and look to you for true and lasting peace.

We pray this in your holy name. Amen.

God's peace y'all and many thanks to all those who have served in the military and those who are serving now.

am i really that warped?

2008-05-21T17:56:00.002-05:00

every year when we go to the obx (outer banks, nc for those of you who don't know) for vacation i buy hubby a t-shirt to memorialize the trip. )i usually make him buy me jewelry).

last year i bought him a t-shirt he has yet to wear. i had forgotten all about it until today when i was looking for a nice big baggy t-shirt to walk in and opened his closet to steal one and there it was. (i can also say that later on when he saw me in it he didn't even accuse me of stealing like he usually does.)

pirates are a big theme at the obx. i have one of those oval shaped bumper stickers with a jolly rogers and the statement that "Women who behave rarely make history." on my car. and i have a baseball hat with the jolly roger on it too which i usually wear to walk in as well.

the t-shirt has a pirate/jolly roger theme. i think it's hysterical. in fact when i was shopping with my sister-in-law, slick, she and i were in hysterics when we saw it.

on the back it has a skull and crossbone and it saws: "Hi. I'm Roger. I'll be flogging you today."

hubby didn't get it neither did the people i work with. i think they are pretty smart people with good senses of humor. in fact when i married hubby i told my mother-in-law that i was going to laugh for the rest of my life because hubby is that funny.

the only conclusion i can come to is that slick and i just have terribly warped senses of humor.

ah well, at least i am in good company.

God's peace y'all

of mexican food, coffee, chocolate, and bullet-proof glass

2008-05-13T14:15:00.011-05:00

it's been too long since i have blogged. i finished my detox, what seems like weeks ago. in fact it was only a little over a week ago. hubby rewarded me by taking me out to lunch for mexican food. i had chicken with pipian sauce, refried beans and spanish rice with a mango margarita. i walked an extra mile that day and tried to eat sensibly the rest of the day. but i also got to have a cup of coffee again and chocolate... oh how i missed coffee and chocolate!

of course the next day i attended a special lunch at the highschool where i was served pasta, salad with lots of dressing on it (i'm now used to having my salads naked), and a homemade chocolate chip ice cream sandwich.

the lunch was given by the special ed department at the highschool because we have kids from one of their programs come to the church to work 3 times a week to give them experience in order to transition into the workforce after they graduate. the food was all made by them and i didn't want to offend anyone by not eating. i especially didn't want to offend any of them by not eating the chocolate chip cookie ice cream sandwich.

then that night we had a dinner at church for the kids that are being confirmed this coming sunday. i made lasagna and since i haven't had any of my lasagna in years i decided i would eat a nice piece of it and walk it off the next day.

friday hubby and i drove to philly for what is called a "beef and beer." had i blogged about the end of the detox previously and then our trip this post would have been titled: "of beef and beer and bullet-proof glass."

first of all the trip was horrendous. it should have taken 3 1/2 hours to get there, but 3 1/2 hours into the trip and we were about half-way there from the bumper to bumper traffic that kept us going an average of 30 miles per hour. i felt like kissing the ground when we finally arrived.

the purpose of the trip was to go to a fund raiser for my future godchild who is going to be adopted by friends of ours (and also the silent prince's godparents). since it costs an incredible amount of money to adopt they decided to have a beef and beer which is basically a party where you buy tickets to eat pasta (though they do sometimes have some sort of beef) and drink beer. you also have autions and raffles and dancing.

by the time we finally got there all that was left to eat of dinner was some lukewarm stuffed shells and lots of dessert. i had a stuffed shell and a piece of cheesecake and something that tasted like a peanut butter kandy kake made by tastykake (another philly tradition).

still we had a great time and i even danced the twist with the mother of the mother-to-be. i was disappointed though not to be given my jack rabbit flash trophy after wards.

we hung out with the parents of our godchild after the party for a bit before sending them on their way home and us driving to our hotel. this is the part of the post that deals with the bullet-proof glass, which is what the people working at the hotel were standing behind when we went to check in.

now i grew up in philly and still love it despite the fact that this time last year it had the highest murder rate in the country. i lived in newark, nj the year it was rated the most violent city in america... but the fact that i had to hand my driver's license to a guy behind bullet-proof glass in order to check in to a hotel kinda freaked me out a little.

it got worse from there. the only ammenity in the hotel room was the tv remote unless you count the bottle opener that was crewed on to the back of the bathroom door and, ok, the shampoo and soaps they left for us in the bathroom.

it was midnight by the time we got there and we wound up staying up much too late. since there was no alarm clock hubby set his phone to go off at 7am. at 9am when we both woke up hubby said he was going to pull on his clothes and grab some coffee from the continential breakfast in the lobby.

he walked out of the room at 9:08 and returned at 9:09 to say that breakfast was over and the only thing left were crumbs on the counter. i told him to throw his things in the suitcase so that we could get the hell out of there and find a wawa for coffee and donuts.

the trip home was far better than the trip there even with the 30 minute wait over the george washington bridge. and of course i gained back all the weight i had lost, but that's ok. i'm still eating healthy, walking almost every day, and i feel great!

keep happy thoughts going for the wonderful parents of my soon-to-be godchild.

God's peace y'all

is it still a detox if...

2008-05-03T20:14:00.002-05:00

i am doped up on allergy meds and cough drops?

the coughing started friday and hasn't stopped. when i checked the pollen forecast for my area it looked more like the government's warning system telling us that terrorists had attacked and we were all going to die horrible deaths.

i'm sure my throat looks as though terrorists have already been there. it now hurts to talk and has felt this way all day. this doesn't bode well for me since sundays are the one day i have to talk and the fact that i have been sucking on ricola drops like my life depended on them doesn't help.

i only have 2 days left on the detox. when i woke up yesterday i decided not to walk even though i had gotten up to 3 miles a day. i was exhausted and misreable from not really sleeping the night before. last night was worse though. in between waking myself up from coughing the princess kitty couldn't sleep and made sure i knew that twice during the night and the silent prince chimed in at least once that he wasn't happy.

i want to feel better by tuesday when hubby says he will take me out for mexican food to celebrate the end of the detox. but as i said before... am i still detoxing if i've replaced my daily salad and 8 glasses of water with benedryl, robitussin, and nyQuil just to get me through my day? and if i am really no longer detoxing because of all the crap i am taking... can't i just go have a bowl of ice cream to numb my throat?

guess i'll just suck on another ricola.

God's peace y'all

just walkin' in the rain

2008-04-29T10:22:00.002-05:00

i hadn't walked since friday morning. i was too tired on saturday after the day we had on friday and sunday just didn't work. yesterday i got up and got dressed, headed downstairs and opened the back door to see what it was like outside and saw a duck float by. well, not really, but it was pouring. this is good since we needed the rain, but i had hoped that it would wait to fall until later in the day.

this morning i wanted to stay in bed, but decided that i had to get up and walk. the only thing that would keep me from it would be the same kind of rain as yesterday. it was drizzling out, but that was it. i asked hubby if he thought i would get sick if i walked and he told me no, according to scientists, but yes, according to everyone else. so i went.

there was only one person fishing and two people walking. it wasn't raining at first, but it was definitely damp out and thankfully the water level of the pnd had drastically increased. it stared to rain when i hit 2 miles, but today i kept going. i walked 3 miles!!! and though i expected 2 miles to be hard since i hadn't walked since friday it wasn't hard at all to go 3 miles!

now if i could just get over the sugar cravings...

God's peace y'all

my own private cheering section

2008-04-26T10:04:00.002-05:00

the princess kitty had her tonsils and adenoids out yesterday, but surgery wasn't until 1pm so she and hubby decided to come with me for my walk. i made certain that they understood that what i was doing was not a leisurely stroll and that they had to take it seriously. so we got in the car and drove to the pond where there is also a playground and tennis courts.

hubby had never been there before though the kitty often goes there on field trips with day care during the summer. i put on my ipod and headed out for my walk while the two of them leisurely walked around and stopped to observe nature. as i passed them on my first of 6 laps they stood to the side and started to cheer me on. i laughed and kept moving. each time i passed them they did something a little different. the kitty held out her hand like she was holding a microphone to interview me and hubby did a one person wave.

one my 5 th lap another woman walking noticed them and mentioned to me that i had a nice cheering section. i told her i should bring them with me every time i walked. when we finished, hubby the kitty, and i cheered her on when she passed us by the parking lot.

the poor kitty was pretty hungry when we got home. all she could have was water and apple juice before 11am. she got very angry at me when she walked into the kitchen and found me eating breakfast, but she was a trooper.

she had agreed to be part of a study at the teaching hospital where she had her tonsils out. the study measured stress factors in children having surgery. the good news was that this meant that i could go into the OR with her.

typically they give kids a liquid med that makes them very sleepy and relaxes them before they take them (sans parents) to the OR. instead i got to don a paper gown and surgical hair net and walk the princess kitty into the OR with the resident who is working on the study and the anesthesiologist. the kitty was amazing. she didn't even walk with me but skipped ahead to walk with the doctor. she got into the OR, hopped up onto the table, and took the mask from the dr all by herself.

they were amazed by her bravery and she and i have probably thrown off the study results.

unfortunately she threw up from the anesthesia after the surgery while they were still in the OR, the again several times in recovery. this blew all our chances of leaving by 4pm, which was a possibility. a little before 5pm we thought we would be going home and we had slowly started to make arrangements to that effect when she said she need to go to the bathroom. she made it there and back just fine, but then suddenly all the color in her face drained and the anesthesiologist came in and said she couldn't leave until she had eaten a popsicle and kept it down. they put her on more meds for the nausea and i left to go pick up the silent prince from grandmom and grandpop's house.

by 7pm they released her and i picked her and daddy up from the hospital and took them home.

poor thing needs some pain killers now.

God's peace y'all

day 8

2008-04-21T18:59:00.003-05:00

yesterday ended my first week on the detox which means today begins my second week. i'm feeling very good except that i haven't lost one ounce yet. in fact when i got on the scale yesterday i had gained 2 pounds! if someone could explain that one to me i would appreciate it.

i found a really nice place to walk yesterday about a 2 minute drive from the house. i would walk there, but i live on a very large bump on a serious hill. if i walked at this point in the game i would wind up calling someone to come pick me up after i arrived there. there's a little pond where people can fish with a track around it. every lap is 1/3 of a mile. half-way through my 5th lap i was really excited with myself that i only had one more lap and i would have walked 2 miles. i hit the point where i could take a step forward on the track and do that last lap or take a step to the right and go to the parking lot and get back in my car when i suddenly felt very dizzy. i knew if i tried to do that last lap i would wind up passing out and one of the fishers would call an ambulance that i didn't need.

so i went back to the car, drank the rest of my water and headed home to eat the rest of the breakfast i guess i should have eaten before walking.

today i purposefully woke up at 8am so that i could get a walk in before other things had to happen. for those of you who know me personally: no, there are no pods in the basement. i haven't been taken over by aliens. i really did get up at 8am to go exercise.

at about the same point on lap 5 i thought the same exact thing as yesterday: 1 more lap to go and i've walked 2 miles. then at the same point in lap 5 as yesterday i started to feel dizzy and light-headed. i walked back to the car and had a big drink of water and the rest of my morning shake then walked that last lap!!!

as i finished i had the strange desire to do the rocky dance on top of the art museum steps. i didn't though, figuring the fishers would find it way too odd and wonder what was wrong with me. instead i got in the car and called my brother, lrns. the voice mail picked up right away and i chastized him for not waiting by the phone in case i might call at 9:30am for the first time ever in our lives.

then i called idad on his iphone and had to talk to his phone as well. feeling deflated that i couldn't share my accomplishment with anyone i ran into hubby on the road a block and 1/2 away from home. we pulled up to one another and i rolled down my window thinking, he loves me, he'll listen and be proud of me when he pointed to his ear to signal that he was on the phone with someone else. i made the sign for i love you with my hand, which was nicer than that other sign i could have made with my hand and drove around the corner.

i then stopped in church, the head teacher, mag, is also on a fitness kick and so i told her my news and she very nicely supported my ego, which was all i really wanted.

happy sigh, now i think i will go shower and get moving on with my day.

God's peace y'all

rhymes with witch

2008-04-19T19:12:00.002-05:00

i couldn't have been in a worse mood yesterday. no one could do anything that was pleasing to me and everything they did do just really made me mad as anything.

i know that it is the detox that's making me crazy, but i'm beginning to feel bipolar with the mood swings from the cravings that my body is having. today wasn't much better except that i had to be at a conference which meant that i had to wear my game face anyway. usually that isn't too difficult of a problem except that i was certainly pushed to my limit when i realized that there were hershey's kisses spread on the tables we sat in for lunch.

i thought i could handle it, but i was already hungry and we had to listen to people talk before i could pull out my non-dressed salad for lunch. the only thing that saved me from scooping up every kiss and eating them wrapper and all was that there were people at the table who knew i was detoxing and therefore couldn't have any chocolate.

the worst part is that it is the silent prince's birthday (no, not a bad thing that he turned 6 today) but it was very hard to watch him and his sister eat cupcakes after eating brown rice and unseasoned and un-fried flounder. (at least it was something other than chicken.) and here i am complaining aboout detoxing rather than talking about his turning 6! some mom i am!

but day 5 is almost over. there were moments today when i felt good about what i was doing like at the grocery store when i looked into my basket and saw all the healthy, lovely fruits and veggies (of course i forgot the baby carrots) and earlier when i realized that i do want to continue to eat well after day 21 is over.

i'm also realizing that i need to find replacements for all the bad things i put into my system for comfort. a banana just isn't as good as a bag of m&m's and carrot sticks just aren't as good as a bag of doritos. and i gotta do that before day 21 or i'm just going to go back to eating the way i did a week ago. mmm doritoes and m&m's.

i am planning to go out for mexican once i'm done. i am fantasizing about that meal like a politician fantasizes about call girls.

and on that note...

God's peace y'all

happily-ever-after-life

2008-04-17T12:14:00.002-05:00

cinderella the cat is dead. she must have died sometime last night on my closet floor. which was a pleasant suprise for me this morning when i went to pick out clothes before i took my shower.

"cindy..." nudge nudge... "oh, $#@&."

luckily hubby was in the backyard already and could go dig a hole. she was completely stretched out and wouldn't fit in a box so i had to wrap her up in a cut up paper bag. hubby has also volunteered to break the bad news to the princess kitty later tonight. i wonder if i shouldn't go get ice cream to help the news go down.

sigh

God's peace y'all

i want a cookie

2008-04-15T20:11:00.003-05:00

today was my official start date for the detox. i used yesterday as a transition day. by 3pm i had a migraine from lack of caffeine and made myself a cup of tea (i wasn't going to brew a whole pot of coffee.)

i picked up all the stuff this morning and met with the nutritionist, c'marie. it took me 20 minutes to organize all the supplements that i have to take in a day: 48 to be exact. thank God for the pill case she gave me or i would be a mess trying to remember it all. it's kinda cool with a sticky pad inside so i can remember what's what.

i can drink all the green tea i want even the kind with caffeine! whoopie! i can even have salt so long as it is sea salt! whoo-hoo! i can even use organic unsalted butter! the grocery store doesn't sell unsalted organic butter, just the salted. boo-hoo!

i actually feel really good today except for all the cravings i am experiencing... like my deep deep desire for a cookie. i'm thinking that by the end of this sugar will still be the one thing i want on a daily basis.

all well, think i'll go much on some grapes and pack lunch for the princess kitty.

God's peace y'all

driving observations

2008-04-12T15:06:00.003-05:00

i had a road trip yesterday to pennsylvania. i stopped and visited the parents of my soon-to-be-adopted godchild and then went to visit a college friend and her intended to do a pre-marital visit with them.

there were a few things i noticed on the trip there and back.

1. i am not a timid or slow driver. if you really feel you need to pass me, you are driving too fast. slow the you-know-what down and get off my butt.

2. the left lane is for passing. if you are steadily going the speed limit or slightly under it, get out of the left lane.

3. north jersey smells. especially around exits 13&14 of the new jersey turnpike. yesterday it smelled like someone had made a salad of rotten eggs and old socks then dressed it with petrol.

4. the north jersey smell can penetrate into your car even if you have all the windows shut and no fans blowing. breathing through your mouth helps, but only enough to keep you from gagging.

5. the sign over the george washington bridge that said i wasn't allowed to take pictures while driving across the bridge is missing (either that or i missed it.) this might mean the end of my dream to get a picture of that sign someday.

6. new york needs to turn off their street lights during the day. they are useless during the daytime, even when it is overcast.

7. i hate, with a passion, driving at night in the rain. this might not have been so bad in new york if perhaps the street lights that were on during the day were also on at night.

8. spending almost $100 on gas just to see a few friends for a short time is still worth it.

God's peace y'all

toxic

2008-04-08T15:16:00.002-05:00

the bursitis is back. i was at the chiropractor today and we are certain that, while it isn't as bad as the first time that's exactly what it is.

the question is why do i have it again.

the obvious answer is stress.

it started during holy week, which, let's be honest, is a stressful time. but if i am completely honest then i also have to admit that i don't take very good care of my body. i don't eat or sleep well and i never get any exercise...

so, her suggestion: go through a detox.

i've seen the nutritionist and we have agreed that i should start a 3 week program of cleaning out my system.

i don't know when i will start, but clearly i'd better do it soon before i lose my nerve. 3 weeks without caffeine or sugar is going to take some willpower.

so wish me luck. i'm sure there will be plenty to write about during this.

God's peace y'all

autism awareness

2008-04-02T22:27:00.004-05:00

apparently today was autism awareness day. and apparently since i am the mom of an autistic child i am too busy to really observe that fact since there are only 35 minutes left in the day.

so here is the face of autism... in all his bubbly glory:

and with just 4 minutes to spare before the end of the day i checked my email to find this from uncle jefro:

Help make a difference without even reaching into your pocket - use your mouse and keyboard! For every person who takes a virtual "test drive" of the new Chevrolet Malibu online at www.autismspeaks.org during the month of April, Chevrolet will donate money to Autism Speaks. They have made a commitment of a minimum of $500,000 but your "test drives" can drive the donation amount up - all the way to $1,000,000!. Can I count on you to do so?

Please spread the word to all your friends and neighbors.

click here to take the test drive.

God's peace y'all

29 again

2008-03-30T11:25:00.002-05:00

tomorrow is my birthday or shall i say the anniversary of my 29th birthday (i won't tell you how many of those i have had.)

i have nothing special planned except that i am taking the day off and taking th eprincess kitty for an appt with the ent that did the tubes and adenoids for the silent prince.

today we will go to my parent's house for dinner. she's making oven fried chicken which is a special treat. we haven't had that in a long time.

so happy birthday to me a day early!

i hope it gives you a good reason to have a great day tomorrow and maybe do a little celebrating in my honor.

God's peace y'all

if you want my two cents

2008-03-26T09:58:00.003-05:00

well, now that holy week is over i still don't have time to write anything, but i decided i would take the time anyway.

so much has been going on in the world, but the thing i would make mention of (in the short time i have to write anything) is the whole fiasco surrounding the sermon soundbite that we've been hearing over and over again.

you know which one i'm talking about don't you?

there are a few things i would say about the whole thing. (and for the sake of this post i'm going to use the terms "pastor" and "preacher" to refer to all religious leaders, not just christian ones.)

the first thing is that the media does a terrible job of portraying any religion and if you form your opinon about one particular preacher, church member, or theology on a 30 soundbite on the news you are going to have the wrong opinion. i don't care who the preacher is, what religion he or she is from, what culture they come from, or what ugly words come out of their mouth. you will get it wrong. period. because i know that there are plenty of things i have said in my preaching that if put into a 30 second soundbite would make me look all kinds of bad.

i've heard lots of christian conservative leaders say far more horrible and offensive things than, "God damn America." and they have gotten far more air time than a 30 second soundbite. in fact some of them are now employed by 24 news stations as experts in religion and politics.

racism and every other ism is just plain bad for everyone. i think i mentioned this before. the only way to deal with isms is to get them out in the open and talk about them honestly. isms will still run people's lives, but at least if we talk about them openly and respectfully (which also means listening) we have a chance of making a difference.

as a pastor i think i have an important message to share. it's part of my job. it is a radical message and will offend people. love your neighbor, turn the other cheek, give to the poor... that's radical and offensive stuff because we are taught to mistrust our neighbor, fight back, and get as much stuff for ourselves as we possibly can. so why is it that the only time religion gets any press is when some clergy person has a gay affair, has a politican as a member of their organization, or issues a religious fatwah?

no one should be told that they should disown their pastor just because of something they said. pastors are human. sometimes we make huge mistakes in judgement, say things we shouldn't say, preach sermons that would have been better left unpreached. but many times we do significant things for people that make a difference in their lives.

no one should be judged based on something that their pastor said. we have our own opinons. i don't share all of mine with everyone, but certainly people can guess things like my political party by some of the things i share out loud on sunday mornings and in meetings and on other ocassions. but they are my opinions and i am not under any notion that everyone who attends my church is going to agree with all my opinions.

in order to hear the good news we also need to name the bad news. this is part of the preaching task. life isn't happy all the time. people are angry, hurt, suffering, and full of resentments. those things have to be put out in the open and named otherwise the good news is meaningless drivel.

and that's all i have time for right now.

God's peace y'all

holy week

2008-03-21T09:22:00.003-05:00

this is the holiest week of the year for me and therefore the most stressful.

i've wanted to write about all sorts of things, but usually i can't bring myself to expend any creative energy here since it's mostly been wrapped up in the 3 sermons i have had to write this week.

and if that was all i had to do...

maybe next week when i can think and relax i will share something more than this.

in the meantime you can certainly read the sermons i've written at my sermon site.

God's peace y'all.

things that suck - in no particular order

2008-03-09T21:16:00.002-05:00

racism. racism sucks. there is not one good thing about it. there are no redeeming qualities within it. it just sucks.

white guilt. white guilt sucks. it especially sucks when it causes a person to do something they think is not racist at all, when in fact it is actually worse than overt, in your face, white-hooded racism.

vomit. vomit sucks. or perhaps it does the exact opposite. no, i don't mean it is actually great. but who wants to suck vomit?

children's vomit. children's vomit sucks. especially when it is your child and your child is developmentally impaired and it is impossible to explain to them where they should aim if they need to vomit again or where they should sit until you have cleaned up said vomit.

day light savings. day light savings sucks. i don't care if we leap forward or fall behind, my internal clock is now off and won't completely readjust until it is time to change the clocks again.

mornings. mornings suck. with all due respect to morning people... what is wrong with you?

mornings when you haven't gotten enough sleep. mornings when you haven't gotten enough sleep suck. this is especially true when you have spent the night cleaning up children's vomit, slept in a bed that is not comfortable so you can be near said child just in case they vomit again, and you lose an hours sleep.

wow, i feel better... and that doesn't suck.

God's peace y'all

some t and a

2008-03-07T15:24:00.002-05:00

first, get your heads out of the gutter. i'm not talking about that kind of t and a.

secondly, the silent prince and his very tired parents are home from the hospital where he had his Adenoids taken out and Tubes put in.

the day started early (especially for me because i am NOT a morning person.) we were supposed to be at the hospital, which is a good 45 minutes away, at 8:35am. we gave ourselves an hour to get there but at 8:20 we were still a good 20 minutes away because of an accident. i called the hospital in a panic, but was told that his surgery wasn't scheduled until 9:35 and we could just take our time.

there were a few other minor hiccups, which are inconsequential. the prince did great despite the fact that he kept trying to find sippy cups and food in my pockets and in his book bag. poor kid was hungry. he didn't like the meds they gave him to start with, but by the time the anesthetists came to take him back for the surgery he let one of them carry him to the o.r. without assistance from mommy or daddy.

it only took about an hour before the dr came to tell us it was over and take us back to see him. he woke up the moment i put on my coat to go out and call the grandparents and find some food for hubby and me. originally the dr thought he would have to spend the night, but the nurse in the recovery room agreed that there was no need for an overnight. grandpop even had time to come and visit and take me for lunch.

so, here we are. grandmom is on her way to pick up the princess kitty for a sleep-over. there is a special event being held at the same hospital tomorrow for siblings of autistic children. there will be a sculptor there and clay for them to make their own masterpieces and the grandparents have agreed to take her. thank God for grandparents.

tiem to go pack her bag. thanks for all the prayers out there!

God's peace y'all

doctors and diagnoses

2008-03-04T19:55:00.002-05:00

yesterday we had a meeting at the princess kitty's school with her principal, teacher, school psychologist, school social worker, special ed teacher, and speech therapist. these meetings are also known as ppt's (which stands for planning and placement team). we all agreed that we needed to have the princess kitty tested for a learning disability and we were getting the results of those tests.

as it turns out she does indeed have a learning disability. for the most part she scored at an average intelligence. which is just fine. she doesn't have to be a super genius for me to be proud of her. her problem is in something called her working memory index. according to all the paperwork they gave us the working memory index (WMI, not to be confused with WMD) involves the ability to attend to information, to hold it in short-term memory while attempting to process it in some way, and to then give a response either orally or in written form.

this affects her ability to read and spell words. and it affects her ability to do math, which she is actually pretty good at.

she's also a sensitive kid and wants to please others, so her ability to do well in school affects her self-esteem.

the good news... and there is good news here, is that now she is going to get extra help. currently they are doing the cmt's or mastery tests. instead of doing them with the rest of her class and being timed to do them she is doing the testing in a small group, with a reader (someone to read her the questions so she isn't struggling to figure out what she is trying to do), and she won't be timed.

it also means that she has a chance to focus on the things she's good at while at the same time work on those things she doesn't do well. for instance, her expressive vocabulary is excellent, but she has trouble writing down her thoughts. this way she'll be able to express herself in writing assignments.

honestly, i am thrilled. she's also going to be able to talk to the social worker once a week about life, which she needs. it isn't always easy being her and now she has another person who she trusts to be able to talk to.

and then there is the silent prince. on friday he is having his adenoids out and tubes put in. we spent time today at a pre-op visit and are feeling pretty comfortable with the whole thing. tomorrow he sees the developmental pediatrician. the last time we saw her was a year ago. it will be interesting to see what she says about his progress because he is doing really really well. (except for the fact that he has regressed yet again with potty training. he refuses to go for me anymore at home and i'm starting to get frustrated like you wouldn't believe!)

he now waves hello and good-bye. he can sign "more" and "eat." when you ask him where his nose is he points to his nose. when you ask him where his belly is he pulls up his shirt and then expects to get tickled. he can put on his own jacket and shirt. and he can get undressed all by himself and put his clothes in the hamper. and he is a puzzle wiz!

he has also learned how to climb over the gate between the tv room and the kitchen and occasionaly he can even open it. (which is why his mom-mom calls him a monkey)

and just because i've burdened you all with all this talk about them both i'll treat you with a picture:

God's peace y'all

a new favorite

2008-02-26T11:10:00.004-05:00

the princess kitty came home sick yesterday. i think we need a germ exorcism done in my home because this is getting ridiculous. i picked her up from school and stopped at the cvs to pick up necessities for a sick child and she asked for puffs plus. her little nose gets so red and she knows that these tissues feel better than some of the other brands.

apparently tissues have come a long way. you can get tissues that are antibacterial, tissues with lotions, and tissues with vicks vapor rub.

all last week i kept thinking i should get some vicks for my cold, but never did so i jumped at the idea of puffs plus with vicks.

the princess kitty, of course, doesn't like the smell of them, but OMG do i love them!!!

since i am still blowing my nose from the cold that i got a week ago they are like heaven. i keep sticking my nose in the box and breathing in.

who knew tissues could make me so happy.

you can even decorate your own box and print out a template when your head starts to clear and you are feeling creative again.

God's peace y'all

fave fours

2008-02-24T14:41:00.001-05:00

i’ve played this game before, but here it is again for kat-kat

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. video store clerk (and yes, there was a back room)
2. assistant manager of a women’s accessory store
3. director of a inner city summer program
4. pastor

Four movies I've watched more than once:
1. man of la mancha
2. crash (just yesterday in fact)
3. buffy the vampire slayer
4. the princess bride

Four places I have lived:
1. philadelphia, pa
2. lynchburg, va
3. newark, nj
4. atlantic city, nj

Four places I have been:
1. the grand canyon
2. antigua
3. chicago
4. hoboken, nj

Four of my favorite foods:
1. shell fish
2. chocolate
3. my mom’s mac and cheese
4. marsha, marsha, marshmallow ice cream by ben and jerry

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. bed
2. any warm beach
3. on vacation
4. bed (did i say that already)

I am looking forward to this year:
1. vacation at the obx
2. doing 2 weddings for 2 wonderful women
3. 10 year anniversary from seminary and seeing all my old friends
4. celebrating my 29th birthday all over again

Four T.V. shows that I watch:
1. M*A*S*H
2. heros
3. lost
4. american idol with the princess kitty

God's peace y'all

what are they teaching our children?

2008-02-23T10:49:00.003-05:00

before email, in order to send a letter to someone, one had to write words down on a piece of paper, fold it and put it into an envelope. one would then have to place information on the outside of the envelope with a stamp and place it in a big blue box called a mailbox where a person called a mail carrier would pick it up and take it back to a place called the post office where it would be sorted by the information on the envelope, given to another mail carrier, and then be delivered to the person to whom it was addressed.

i know this because i was taught how to do it in grade school, before email became my primary means of sending information to another person. however, i do still on occasion need to put something in the mail where i use the above technique.

last weekend hubby and i went on a confirmation retreat with 20 kids grades 6-9. we wanted to teach them about how they had gifts that they could share with others and part of the process was to have them do a service project. the service project was to send appeal letters to other churches asking them to participate in something called God's Global Barnyard which is the ELCA's (my denomination) version of heifer international.

i made the service project as simple as possible... they basically had to stuff and address envelopes with information that i gave them and then they had to come up with a project to do in their own church.

had i known that many of them didn't know how to address an envelope properly i would have told them about return addresses and where the stamp had to go and where on the envelope the addresse's information went. silly me, assuming that they would have learned this in school by the 6th grade.

hubby says that we are old. afterall, mail is sent electronically now. in fact, when i did a google image search of "mail" this is what i got. of the 20 images of "mail" there was only one picture that showed an envelope (and that was clip art) and 1 picture of what looks like the inside of a post office. there were 2 pictures of george w and somehow i can't help but think that there is a correlation between his no child left behind and the fact that kids almost in high school have no idea how to address an envelope!

sigh, they aren't teaching cursive writing anymore either.

God's peace y'all

8 inches addendum or how to make a hot toddy

2008-02-22T20:06:00.002-05:00

i'm now losing my voice so i decided to do what the mucinex will not...

make one of my mother's hot toddy's.

here's how:

in one mug full of scotch whiskey add a tea bag and just enough hot water to heat the booze stir in honey (no honey had to use sugar) and drink... repeat as necessary.

still sick, but now i don't care as much.

God's peace y'all

8 inches

2008-02-22T14:25:00.002-05:00

i have had a cold since waking up on wednesday. everyone and their mother has told me that i should take mucinex, "it's the wonder drug" "nothing else works for me."

it is also the most expensive over-the-counter cold medicine on the shelves of the cvs and even though i have been taking it religiously it has not helped ONE LITTLE BIT!!!

meanwhile there are up to 8 inches of snow outside. hubby and the princess kitty shovelled earlier and you can't tell that they did anything.

i'm going to go make some tea and collapse in front of the tv now.

God's peace y'all and remember to wash your hands.

writing about writing addendum

2008-02-07T13:10:00.001-05:00

if you haven't read the post "writing about writing" then do that before reading this one.

this afternoon i decided to look around the attic to see if i could find my file box that i kept stuff in that i had written and sure enough there was the short story i thought i had lost. i had to stand there in the attic and reread the whole thing.

i suppose i have written better since, but when you think something you've written is lost is becomes larger than life, pulitzer prize winning work.

i also discovered the portfolio of my final assignment for my 12th grade creative writing class. i was afraid to even get that one out of the box!

and since i was asked... the excerpt in the last post is from book 2 (remember i haven't finished book 1 yet) about a warrior woman that becomes a queen. i did say i loved to write fantasy.

God's peace y'all

writing about writing

2008-02-07T00:22:00.000-05:00

i wasn’t exactly tagged by the pobble, but since she said she was interested i will do my best.

What is the last thing you wrote? a sermon for ash wednesday.

Was it any good? actually i think it was… you can always read it for yourself

What’s the first thing you ever wrote that you still have? i would have to searching through boxes in the attic to answer that.

Write poetry? i used to, but i was horrible at it.

Angsty poetry? please see the above answer

Favorite genre of writing? fiction, but rarely ever get to write it.

Most fun character you ever created? don’t know about “fun” but my favorite is a man named olin

Most annoying character you ever created? a guy at a diner who insists on playing the same song on the jukebox over and over again.

Best plot you ever created? well, hopefully it’s the one i’m working on

Coolest plot twist you ever created? the birth control berry

How often do you get writers block? every saturday night

Write fan fiction? nope

Do you type or write by hand? yes

Do you save everything you write? i try to, but invariably things get lost

Do you ever go back to an old idea long after you have abandoned it? i hope to go back to the book someday… does that count?

What’s your favorite thing that you’ve written? alas, a short story i can no longer find

What’s everyone else’s favorite story that you’ve written? hmm, i don’t know

Do you ever show people your work? well, people get to hear what write every week, but yes, i often share… i’m needy that way

Did you ever write a novel? someday…

Ever written romance or teen angsty drama? yes, when i was a teen

What’s your favorite setting for your characters? fantasy lands where i can make anything happen

How many writing projects are you working on right now? well, if you go back to the two books i have started… and i have another sermon due on sunday.

Do you want to write for a living? in a way i already do, but that’s what i’d like to do when i retire

Have you ever won an award for your writing? when i was in 8th grade i won a contest for the zoo for an essay i wrote on teddy bears. i still have the mug i got as a prize

Ever written something in script or play format? yes

What are your five favorite words? i love them all, but i am fond of the word: cryptic

Do you ever write based on yourself? i’m sure i do

What character have you created that most resembles yourself? all of them have something of me in them

Where do you get your ideas for your other characters? they are just born

Do you ever write based on your dreams? you mean the kind you have when you are sleeping?

Do you favor happy endings, sad endings, or cliff hangers? i’ve never been a fan of cliff hangers, though i do enjoy endings that aren’t neatly tied up in a bow.

Have you ever written based on an artwork you’ve seen? no

Are you concerned with spelling and grammar as you write? only because of the squiggly lines my computer makes on the screen when i do something wrong. can’t stand those lines.

Ever write something entirely in chatspeak? no

Entirely in L337? good Lord, why would anybody do that?

Does music help you write? no

Quote something you’ve written. this would be from the second book:

My father was a soldier, but then so was my mother back in the time when the great lands were at war and unnamed. The moment I could lift my newborn head my mother strapped me to her back and followed behind his regiment; her body tensing each time he followed the charge into battle. If it was for fear of his death or desire to join the fight I do not know, nor do I know for which side she prayed for victory to be granted.

She had been the enemy and captured; given to my father as a prize for bravery by his commander because he had said that only my father could tame her. I suspected that she grew to love him as she grew to desire peace for lands constantly divided by the pettiness of warlords.

After each battle we would sort through the dead and wounded looking for him, but my father was indestructible though scars decorated his body like trophies or medals he would display with pride. I was his only child and never once did I believe that he would have preferred a boy to the girl that I was. And if my mother grew to love him he loved her as well, weeping openly at her grave more so than I cried for her. She died in childbirth, a battle of its own kind that produced only another death; brother or sister I was never told. Its little body was wrapped up with my mother’s and lowered into the ground amid whispers that she had been too old to bear another child. Her burial was more than most received at the time; the countryside was covered with mass graves filled with warriors and peasants alike.

I grew up in death, not a life for a young girl, but it was mine and I embraced it.

anyone else wanna play?

God's peace y'all

what kind of world do you want

2008-02-01T00:56:00.000-05:00

i've now gotten this link for more than the tenth time in my email. i've also been alerted to it via a message board i frequent.

yes, five for fighting is donating $.49 to autism speaks for each time the video is viewed and that's great.. and you should all go clink on the link... really, because it's wonderful.

and yes, i appreciate all the people who have seen it and thought of me... but i already know about the video and have watched it several times. i think i saw it for the first time a year ago... when the band first created the site.

so please, no one has to forward it to me anymore... if you want to forward it... please do.. just to someone else. the band (according to the email) wants over 10,000 hits and i can't do it all myself.

God's peace y'all

a day in the life

2008-01-30T10:41:00.000-05:00

like i was saying, not long ago one of my high school friends found me. (actually 2 have found me but that's another story). he was a year ahead of me and one of my dearest friends. we were a part of the popular crowd only because we really liked one another and could care less what other people thought. honestly, my high school had lots of clicks, but no real popular crowd and i was lucky to be able to hang out with other groups of people.

i grew up in philly and philly is all about the neighborhoods, which when i was in high school were still pretty ethnic. each group had their own space at the school. for example, if i remember correctly, the east lawn was where the south philly italians hung out and the south lawn was where the punks hung out. (but it was a long time ago and i could be remembering the lawns wrong).

i do know that i spent a lot of time on both lawns and in other areas of the school and i don't ever remember there being territorial debates about who was welcome where.

but back to my point... in our emails back and forth to reacquaint ourselves he asked me what a pastor does and i have been trying to find time to actually sit down and explain my job. it occured to me that perhaps i had already done that since at the end of every year and the start of a new one i have to write an annual report that includes all the stuff i did over the last year. here's an edited version with the edits in italics.

there are three pieces to the pastor pie: congregational, synodical (a geographical area of churches headed by a bishop), and community (while this is typically the area around the church it can also be national or international.)

Congregational:
I served on all committees of the church including the Church Council and Childcare board; taught adult forum and confirmation classes, preached, presided, and planned all worship or provided supplies; visited the sick, shut-ins, and other members; performed 3 weddings (1 of non-members); supervised all lay staff (secreatry and the staff of the childcare); held office hours on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays (Thursdays in 2008 will be used for visitation days); managed the insurance for the flooding at the rental house; Attended Borough Board meetings in regards to the rental house (a house the church owns, once rented, and now is trying to sell); trained in Kids, Money, and Stuff (a stewardship program for children and youth) for continuing education; organized the booth for and attended the Harvest Moon Festival; and designed and maintained the new website for the church. (i also do funerals, but while may people died in 2007, none of them were from my congregation.)

Community:
I participated in the Ecumenical Ministerium (the other churches in town) by attending meetings, preaching at the Thanksgiving and Good Friday Services and speaking at the Virginia Tech Memorial Service; I led worship services at 5 different nursing homes and or rehabilitation centers; Represented the church and childcare at the Duck Race Dinner, gave the invocation at the Memorial Day Parade (I even marched in it) and at an Eagle Scout Ceremony; submitted a sermon for Voices (a local community paper); walked during the Crop Walk (a walk to raise money for hunger), and maintained our relationship with the other lutheran church in town through the Gardener Cooperative with joint services for an Animal Blessing and Ash Wednesday as well as a week of VBS.

Synodical:
I attended weekly pericope studies (the bible readings for sunday) with other area pastors to prepare for preaching, attended meetings of our Conference, served on the Synod Worship Team, attended Synod Assembly where I assisted with worship; and attended 1 ordination and two installations of area pastors.

so there is just a taste of what i do. of course each and every day is different. today i have to work on the service for ash wednesday which means putting together the bulletin and beginning to prepare to write a sermon (sermon preparation/writing takes a minimum of 8 hours each week, but usually no more than 10). and i have a huge load of filling i'd like to get done when i go over to the office.

guess i'd better get to work.

God's peace y'all

we're having a heat wave

2008-01-28T16:51:00.000-05:00

well, not really all that hot, but the heat is up and running today. the plumbers (yes, plural) suggested that i pray over it so i laid my hands on the *&#% thing and called out, "BE HEALED!"
and after they worked on it for almost 2 hours it was working again.

we still need a new furnance, which will include needing a new chimney and major electrical work, but the house is actually warm again!

God's peace y'all

chilly willy

2008-01-25T21:26:00.000-05:00

there have been a lot of things going through my mind that i've been meaning to blog about. a dear friend from high school just got in touch with me. i hadn't heard from him since i graduated high school... which was a long time ago. when i told him that i was a pastor he responded with "it's hard to imagine anyone i went to high school with becoming a pastor. what does a pastor do?"

so i've been thinking that would be a good topic for a post. few people really get just what kind of stuff i do... but right now i am too cold to try to put together any kind of list like that.

why am i cold?

well, it all started last night when i sat down to watch pan's labyrinth (which was very good) and realized that i was freezing... so i cranked up the heat and huddled under the covers to read subtitles. by the end of the movie i decided that it had started to heat up and i turned the thermostat down to 69-70 degrees for the night.

when hubby woke up this morning it was 50 degrees in the house.

we cranked the heat back up and i checked the pilot in the basement for the 3rd time... it was lit... and we went on with our day.

it was when i got back from lunch with hubby (we had a little date at the olive garden... yummy salad, bread sticks, and soup) that i decided to call the plumber.

now here's something pastor-ish... i live in a parsonage, which means that the house belongs to the church. i pay utilities, but no rent and when something goes snafooey the church has to handle it.

well, it seems that the heater is older than the house. ok, i'm exaggerating and the house had originally been heated with coal, but this is besides the point because the plumber can't fix the problem because he doesn't have parts that old.

here's the problem: the pilot is lit, but the burner isn't lighting. so heating the house is much like trying to cook something on a gas stove by the heat of the pilot flame.

hence... i am chilly willy.

i have the heat set at 80 and it's about 60 degrees in the house. and oh, it's below freezing outside.

the good news is that the plumber called one of his other plumber friends who works more with gas than oil, which is his specialty, who thinks that he might be able to do something to fix the problem for now, but he can't come until monday morning.

i'm praying (yes, another thing i do as a pastor) that he will be able to do something to get the heat working for now because clearly the next step is to replace the heater, which is not as simple as it sounds and far more expensive than i care to think about.

all this after the kids have been sick off and on for the last week or so. that in and of itself is post worthy because of the goat rodeo that was...

... so i am off to put on two pairs of jammies, set up the electric heaters i borrowed, and watch what i hope will be a semi-entertaining movie.

stay warm and God's peace y'all

ode to a good night's sleep

2008-01-21T19:01:00.000-05:00

ok, this isn't going to be a poem (poetry has never really been my thing), but rather just an update on the whole sleep thing and how i haven't gotten much for some time now.

i seem to be going to sleep later and later lately. the lights had been going out at midnight, but now i don't seem to be getting to sleep until after 2am. don't know why except that i seem to dread the idea of tying to fall asleep and so i'm staying up later and later in hopes of it being easier to actually fall asleep once in bed. ha.

on thursday we took the prince to the dr's for a follow-up on his ears which continue to get infections. it sounds as though we will be seeing an ear, nose, and throat dr to determine whether or not to get tubes. while i really don't want to do it i'm almost relieved at the thought that maybe this is going to solve some of the issues the poor kid has with his ears.

while at the dr's office the prince fell asleep on my lap in the exam room. the night before he had been up partying: jumping on the bed, laughing, getting into all his toys. i figured he was tired after his late night and didn't ask the nurse or dr to check his temperature even though i did think he was a bit warm.

later hubby and i decided that we have amazing instincts with the kids, but are too stupid to follow through with them.

this we decided after taking the prince home and my informing hubby that he had thrown up in his bed several times and why didn't i mention to the dr that i thought he was warm!

he slept most of the day and night, waking up to eat some toast and an apple, but we kept him home from school the next day to be on the safe side.

friday night i went to bed like usual, but the prince wouldn't let me stay in bed. he cried most of the night and my instincts failed me as to why. after getting about 3 hours of sleep i got up to get on with my saturday, which was a work day.

i tried to get into bed before midnight and actually succeeded, except that i was up with him 4 times. when i talked to a friend about it later she suggested that maybe he was having night terrors which would account for the fact that at one point he was running up and down the halls shrieking bloody murder.

after no more sleep than the night before i woke up at 8am to get on with my sunday, also a work day. thankfully i was able to take a nap in the afternoon and while the prince got me out of bed twice before 1am he either slept through the rest of the night or i slept through his not sleeping through the night. (though i am guessing he slept since i find it physically impossible to sleep through either of the kids crying.)

another bit of news is that his lead levels are still about the same, though his body burden did drop a bit his blood level is still below the number where they would chelate him. we'll see the ent the same day as we take him to the lead clinic. hopefully they will go up just enough for a short treatment to get things moving.

now it is time to finish the bedtime routine and read a book with the princess kitty so we can write a book report by the end of the month. and maybe... just maybe i'll get some sleep tonight.

God's peace y'all

misery is a butterfly or don't you want me baby?

2008-01-16T00:13:00.000-05:00

bds over at two dollar productions recommended this meme and I thought, hey cool I should do that… then the pobble did it and I couldn’t resist.

The rules:
1. Put your music player on Shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT. (This is in capital letters, so it is very serious.)
4. Add editorial comments in parenthesis after most song names.

(ok, so here is the 1st parenthesis… i have several play lists on my music player including one that is entitled “jesus rocks” with all my gospel music, but the two lists i listen to most are my contemporary music and my 80’s music, so i had to do this twice. the first answer is from the playlist that i listen to most, the second is from my 80’s list)

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY? Beautiful Disaster - 311
Just Like Honey- The Jesus and Mary Chain

2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY? Believe- Red Hot Chili Pepers
Should I Stay or Should I Go? The Clash

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? Bitterweet Symphony- The verve Pipe
Love is a Battlefield- Pat Benatar

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? Epiphany- Staind (well, it was tuesday when i got this answer and hubby always says i have epiphanies on tuesdays)
Crazy For You- Madonna (actually, just crazy)

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE? Cobrastyle Teddy Bears (i seriously thought about skipping this one, but i followed the rules)
Vacation- Go Gos

6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? I Write Sins Not Tragedies- Panic! At the Disco (ok, this one made me giggle)
Moments in Love- Art of Noise

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Mother Mother- Tracy Bonham
Psycho Killer- Talking Heads (i need to have a long talk with my friends)

8. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS? No Way Out- The Foo Fighters
Stupid Girl- Garbage (no i don't, honest!)

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Hole in the Earth- Deftones (there’s a hole in the earth? i never thought of that)
Do You Really Want To Hurt Me- Culture Club (i think i might have some issues)

10. WHAT IS 2+2? Oh! Gravity- Switchfoot
Right here Right Now- Jesus Jones

11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? When Your Heart Stops Beating- Plus 44
I Wanna Be Sedated- The Ramones

12. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? The Kill- 30 Seconds to Mars
Relax- Frankie Goes to Hollywood

13. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? Don’t Lose Touch- Against Me
Golden Years- David Bowie (i'm not even 40 yet - golden years... geeze!)

14. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? Icky Thump- The White Stripes (sometimes i think i am that already)
Jessie’s Girl- Rick Springfield (doesn’t everyone want to be jesse’s girl?)

15. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Undone (the Sweater Song)- Weezer
Rush- Big Audio Dynamite

16. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? Painted By Numbers- The Sounds
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun- Cyndi Lauper (oh, daddy dear you know you’re still number one…)
17. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? China Girl David Bowie
We Could Be Heros- David Bowie (funny thing is that both songs are bowie and that pobble got this one too! and we didn’t actually play any bowie at our wedding! but who is cooler than david bowie?)

18. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? Teenagers- My Chemical Romance
Shock the Monkey- Peter Gabriel (for God’s sake, i might not actually be dead!)

19. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? A Certain Romance- Arctic Monkeys
Obsession- Animation

20. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? Baby One More Time- Dilana (the biggest secret might be how much i love this song)
Down Under- Men at Work (honest, i was born in philly)

21. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? Hey Kids- Jet
All I Want is You- U2

22. WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS? Misery is a Butterfly- Blonde Redhead
Don’t You Want Me Baby- Human League

undecided?

2008-01-10T10:36:00.000-05:00

i still don't know who i am ultimately going to vote for in the presidential primaries. i keep going back and forth on this issue and wish i could just decide. however, i do kinda like the fact that i'm having such a hard time deciding since it has been a very long time since i have felt this way about 2 candidates.

and so finding this link was actually helpful. the candidate calculator asks just a few questions, but then tells you who you most match up with. i didn't even know who my first choice was, but my second choice was one of the two i am thinking about. my other choice was way down on the list.

God's peace y'all and don't forget to vote when the time comes.

of hot pink, fuzzy robes

2008-01-04T10:15:00.000-05:00

this past christmas i asked for a specific list of things and received just about all of them. the spoons being just one of the things i truly wanted.

i also got itunes from my brother and slick. it's been fun adding some new music, though the album i've been waiting for doesn't come out until march and i suspect that by then i will have spent all the itunes. (but my birthday is in march, so i have hope).

i asked my parents for a gift card to see the hair dresser we all visit with. she and my mom have become good friends and before xmas when my mom went to get the certificate she told gloria about hubby's test. gloria responded by writing a second certificate just from her. i can't wait to go get my cut, color, and my eyebrows waxed. (i'm started to get a little hairy above the eyes.)

when hubby's mom asked what we wanted for xmas from our pollyannas i said i needed a square frying pan so i could make more than one piece of french toast or grilled cheese sandwich at a time. and guess what my wonderful mil put under the tree for us!

and then there were the gifts from hubby and the kids. i mentioned to hubby that perhaps next xmas i was going to ask for jewelry, but that i really wanted a pretty long sleeved nightgown for this year... the nightgown looks really good with the white gold diamond hoop earrings they gave me.

months ago i mentioned to the pobble that i wanted a new cutting board. and it came with a hot pink fuzzy robe. i think i have lived in the robe since christmas. it's one of my new favorite things.

even with all the stress of the past few weeks i've realized how much i've really enjoyed this past christmas. it's not all about the stuff that i got though i can't remember the last time that "santa" listened so well. being around family and friends was such a joy.

it's been two years now that we have been able to spend christmas at home; exactly the same amount we weren't able to spend at home the two years before. traditions seem to be reinventing themselves. we even spent new year's with the prince's godparents, something we missed doing for a few years because new year's was falling too close to sunday and we couldn't travel.

even missing friends at the table this year wasn't such a downer. not having the pobble here for christmas (last year she was the guest who wouldn't leave) was sad, but the joy of knowing that she was happy where she was made the melancholy go away.

and we saw hubby's nephew who now lives in hawaii. and one brother-in-law, hubby, and i went out for drinks with his neice. nephew was 13 when we got married and hubby bought my engagement ring the day of the neice's 8th grade graduation. it's scary that they are growing up so fast (actually, they are totally grown now) but how much fun was it to see them as the adults i always knew they would become!

all in all it was a wonderful holiday time... a warm, hot pink, fuzzy holiday.

God's peace y'all

I GOT SPOONS!!!

2008-01-01T19:23:00.000-05:00

when hubby and i registered for our flatware over 11 years ago we picked a set that was higher in quality on purpose. i expected that we would never own a set of actual silver (until my parents and uncle suprised us on our 10th anniversary with my grandmother's set). i wanted something that i could put out with the china and use every day.

we picked a simple, but elegant pattern, but then discovered that we couldn't register for a slotted serving spoon. for 11 years i have been without a slotted spoon and somehow our teaspoon numbers dwindled from 12 to 4. now how you lose spoons i don't know, but they have disappeared like socks in the dryer.

so, for christmas hubby's family does a pollyanna. my mother-in-law organizes it and our rule is that she and the grandchildren don't participate, only the siblings and spouses. when she asked for ideas for me to give my pollyanna i went to oneida.com and looked up my pattern and low and behold... there was a slotted spoon.

i wanted it! i needed it! 11 years without one and i was this close to having a dream come true.

and guess what. i got 4 new teaspoons and my slotted spoon from my wonderful sister-in-law!!!

sometimes dreams do come true.

christmas and new years were wonderful, but i am too tired to say anymore at the moment. i still have to read with the princess kitty and pack lunches for the kids for tomorrow because it is back to school tomorrow! hey, another dream come true!

God's peace y'all!

HAPPY HOLY-DAYS

2007-12-25T08:58:00.000-05:00

i started saying happy holidays before it was considered the pc thing to do. i've had the priveledge of knowing people from different faith and non faith traditions all my life.

and while today is christmas i know that this is a holy time for many, even if the "holiness" of the day is secular.

i would take the time to google all the different names for this day and season, but i have to go make breakfast for the silent prince (the princess kitty is still dreaming of sugarplum fairies)and finish getting the house ready for our company today.

so happy holy-days to all of you. may they be a blessing and a joy. may sorrow and sadness fade away in your lives. may the world come to know and embrace peace. and may there be love in your hearts and in your homes.

God's peace y'all

death takes a holiday

2007-12-23T20:08:00.000-05:00

mike farrell, better known as bj hunnicut on M*A*S*H wrote an episode of the show that aired december 15, 1980 entitled "death take a holiday." in the episode instead of enjoying the christmas holiday party, hawkeye, bj, margaret, and father mulcahy try to keep a soldier from dying until after christmas day is over.

when they are unsuccessful, haweye changes the clock so that it reads after midnight on december 26 saying, "look, he made it."

some of you may remember me talking about my brother's friend karen who had been battling breast cancer. she almost died at halloween, but recovered and was able to go home. ever since i have been hoping that she would live through the holidays.

this morning my brother called as i was attempting to get out of the house to get to church. as soon as i heard his voice on the phone i knew why he called. why else would he call on a sunday morning right before church?

karen died last night.

as wonderful as this time of year is and all the joy that surrounds it it is also filled with so much loss for so many people.

please remember karen and her family in your thoughts and prayers as well as all those who are so touched by loss this time of year. may they all be blessed with the peace that is intended in this holy time.

God's peace y'all

what it's really about

2007-12-20T19:24:00.001-05:00

went to finish my christmas shopping at the mall today. everything is done, but the goodies that santa leaves in our stockings (which should find their way into a shopping cart when i do the grocery shopping for christmas dinner.)

i went into the hallmark store to find ornaments for the kids. at one point as a young child my mom started giving my brother and me ornaments every year so that when we grew up we would have things to put on our tree. decorating the tree is always a stroll down memory lane.

standing in line i let a woman go ahead of me. she was holding an ornament that was maybe 3/4" tall in the shape of a candy cane with a girl's name on it. it was a tiny little trinket, hardly anything at all. we started chatting the way people sometimes do when they are standing in a long line. it was an ornament for her daughter. she told me she tried to give her one every year for christmas. i told her that i was doing the same thing.

then she said that it was a lean christmas. she was rubbing this little ornament between her fingers and looking at it the way you look at something that you have to settle for because you can't afford anything else. i knew this look. i've looked at things that way too.

i told her there would be better christmases. i had been there too.

and then the woman behind the counter asked for the next person in line and she walked up to the register and i jumped behind her and asked the cashier if i could buy her ornament for her.

at first she refused, but i said it was only $3 and i really wanted to buy it for her and would she please let me.

see, hubby had a biopsy last week. we haven't really shared this with many people because to tell everyone seemed to make it worse. but yesterday the doctor called and said there was no malignancy. i told the woman that my christmas had come early and i just wanted to do something nice for someone else.

so the cashier rang up her ornament, put it in a bag and handed it to the woman, whose smile was totally worth every cent and then some.

at the doorway of the store she turned around and yelled merry christmas to me.

as i was finishing up my purchase the cashier said what a nice thing that was that i had done, "why did you do it?" she asked.

"she told me that she was having a lean christmas. i've been there and this is really what it's all about isn't it?"

of all the gifts that are in my house waiting to be wrapped, that was the best one i bought this holiday.

God's peace y'all

a dark christmas

2007-12-17T19:52:00.000-05:00

we haven't gotten a tree yet; maybe tomorrow. the fact that i am hosting chritmas dinner and the dining room table is filled with christmas crap i gotta put somewhere isn't stressing me out to very much, at least not yet.

what's stressing me out is that if you pick up any box of christmas lights and read the warning on the box (yes, they have a warning on the box) it says that handling the wires on the lights can expose you to LEAD and you should wash your hands after touching them. here's the article.

i'm going back to the days when you put actual candles on your tree and just hoped you didn't burn down the house!

God's peace y'all

cancelled

2007-12-16T08:14:00.000-05:00

ah, new england in the winter.

i cancelled church this morning. our street is a sheet of ice and on a hill which means that you have to go up and down at least once to get here. it's also not on the most well-travelled road, which means that the snow and ice from the last storm had just started to melt. i've been stressing about it since friday when i first heard the weather reports. it was a bit of a relief to get up and see all the other church's notices of cancellation on the tv screen. at least that way i knew i wasn't alone.

there have been a rash of fires in the area lately. i was on the phone with a mom from a neighboring town last night seeing what we could do to help her and her family as i was reading a report on-line about a family here in town whose house had just gone up in flames. at the same time she was telling me about another family who suffered tragedy when the dad ran back into the house to rescue his other children after having just saved one and died with the kids.

the mom i talked to has 4 kids and one of them is special needs. i remember well what it was like to be displaced at the holidays, but at least i still had all my stuff. they lost their two pets: a dog and rabbit. it's heartbreaking. i sent out emails last night at about 10:30 to see if people had stuff they would donate and one woman (who works nights) had a list of things to me in an email she sent before 4 in the morning.

i'll spend some time today digging through our things and finding boxes to pack it all in. they literally need everything.

meanwhile the prince and the princess have been sick most of the week. who knew that such small bodies could produce so much snot? the princess kitty blows her nose and i am amazed by it. as hubby says, "i am both disgusted and impressed." there will most likely be a delay for school tomorrow, but i am wondering if i shouldn't just bite the bullet and take them to the doctor's. the princess would rather not miss school. so far she has perfect attendance. oh well.

and for those of you who feel a bit stressed by the fact that christmas is just around the corner. here's this.

God's peace y'all

when the punishment fits the crime

2007-12-12T21:37:00.000-05:00

a month or so ago 3 teens were killed in a car accident. the driver was a young man who had just gotten his license back after driving drunk. he was underage.

one of the girls at church was friends with the girls who were killed (the driver's sister and one of her friends who were 14-15 yrs old.)

many people have been very hard on the parents who let their son drive a brand new car even though he had a dui on his record. my heart bleeds for these parents, but i agree... the princess kitty would never drive again until she lived on her own and had her own car if she ever drove drunk while under my roof.

many people blame the system that allowed a teen to drive again. i believe he shouldn't have been allowed his license back until he was at least 21.

so finding this picture and caption on my homepage tonight helps me remember that sometimes there is justice.

Members of the Maricopa County DUI chain on a work detail as deputies gurad them Tuesday, Dec. 11, 2007 in Phoenix, Az.. Men convicted of drunken driving will don bright pink shirts and perform burials of people who died of alcohol abuse as part of a new chain gang in Phoenix. A sheriff's dept. spokesman said the DUI chain gang is the first ever that's dedicated to one type of crime.
(AP Photo/Matt York)

God's peace y'all

more christmas gift ideas

2007-12-10T10:49:00.000-05:00

i've only gotten two gifts so far this year. i am way behind on shopping. this might have to do with the 2 grand we just had to spend on the cars.

please don't remind me how many shopping days we have left.

in the process of making my list for what to get for who i found this site. if you still haven't finished your shoping this year consider spending lots of money here. it will go a long way.

God's peace y'all

the wheels on the bus go slip and slide

2007-12-08T19:44:00.000-05:00

driving home from doing some visits yesterday the snow began to fall. it wasn't bad at first, just what the weather forecast predicted, but once i was on the highway i realized that it was starting to stick. it wasn't supposed to do that even with the unbelievably cold temperatures.

once home i ran over to work to pick a few things up from my office then walked home realizing that the road outside was turning white. inside i mentioned to hubby that i had a few things to do on the 'puter. upstairs i started to settle in when i remembered that i was going to call my brother, but in order to multitask i needed my bluetooth which was in the truck so i went out to get it.

i didn't make it past my front steps because the pickup truck that was right outside my door kept sliding all over the road. it was right in front of the driveway and the back end refused to straighten out every time it moved. for about 10 minutes i stood outside cringing as i watched it narrowly miss a parked car and the watch children sign that is posted in the grass between my house and the driveway. at one point the driver and passenger got out of the truck to peer down the steep hill they would certainly go tumbling over if they tried to continue down the street.

not being able to take it anymore i ran to my truck, now somewhat certain that the pickup was not going to come careening into me, but rather down the hill instead, and got my bluetooth. brother never answered my phone call.

hubby was now outside waiting for the buses to drop off the prince and princess. the princess usually goes right over to the day care next door, but when she got off the bus and saw daddy she decided to come straight home.

the prince usually gets off the bus at about 4:05pm. i knew that the bus would be late because of the weather, but when the phone rang at 4:05pm and the caller id said it was the school district i knew there was an issue.

it was the school social worker. the buses still hadn't arrived at the school to pick up the kids. (i found out today that they were trying to match drivers up with routes that they were more familiar with so that they would be better able to navigate the icy hills.) all the kids were watching a movie inside and would be on the road as soon as they could.

i asked if i should come pick him up. we have 4-wheel drive and pretty good brakes, but the social worker convinced me that it was safer to just let the buses come when they could.

that was my first mistake.

at 5pm i called the school and the buses had just left. they were going to take their time and i was just fine with that. i wondered how they would maneuver up my street and called my mom.

that was my second mistake.

"i don't want you to be worried mom, i just wanted for me to be less worried." she laughed that little laugh that told me it was too late... now she was worried and then she informed me that my dad was trying to get up their driveway and had just narrowly missed slipping into the wall. their driveway is the only thing steeper than my street.

at 5:30 i had started dinner. i knew the prince would be really hungry by the time he finally got home and then the phone rang again. this time it was the aide on the bus. they were stuck and waiting for a sand truck to unstick them. hubby started insisting that he was going to go get him, the princess kitty started to freak out, and i began to regret the fact that the only booze in the house was beer.

15 minutes later i called the bus back. they were still stuck, but much closer than i had originally thought. i got directions to their location and hubby got into the truck and went in search of him. now i was worried about both of them. i had already talked to my mom again and this time my dad called. i was on the phone with him when it occurred to me that i should have asked hubby to call me once he had the prince. i began to wonder how soon i should give up on the worried and concerned about their safety feeling i had to the worried and scared feeling i was verging on.
2 seconds after hanging up with my dad hubby called, "i have the package." he told me, but he didn't want to drive back up the hill to our house so instead he was going to park at the grocery store at the bottom of the hill and walk up with the prince.

and dinner wasn't too over done by the time we finally sat down to eat it.

dad called hubby today and told him that there were kids in the next town over who were stuck on a bus until 11pm last night. the d.o.t. claims they had no idea the bus was stuck.

God's peace y'all

still here

2007-12-04T10:24:00.000-05:00

honestly, i haven't forgotten about you all out there in blogland. i've been crazy busy now that we are in advent and getting ready for christmas. for many of you the stress of this time is about holiday shopping and decorating and partying. for me it's work on top of all those other stresses.

especially because this time is so commercial and i have to remind people that ultimately that's not what this time is about. not that i don't love the commercial, i do. i spent 2 hours downloading christmas songs onto my ipod so that i could listen to them before christmas and get into the holiday mood.

the weather has gotten very cold and we have been getting tastes (nasty at that) of winter weather. my truck, which i just had worked on to the tune of $600+ no longer has heat. ok, i can bundle up to drive, but this also means no defrost, which can make it difficult to see while driving. now i have to bite the bullet and find more time to put it in the shop. i have a GREAT mechanic, but he takes his time getting the work done.

hubby and i could share his car, but his seat doesn't move back and forwards (we don't know why). hubby is 6'3" i am 5'2". my feet don't reach the pedals unless i put a pillow behind my back. this is fine when i have to run to the store a few blocks away, but to go any distance... forget it!

i've also been working on the church's website: http://www.salemlutheran.blogspot.com/. i posted this there:

Don't know what to get that person who has everything? In doing your Christmas shopping this year consider giving gifts that continue giving.

At Heifer International you can make a donation in another person's name that will help purchase livestock from a hive of bees to a cow that will support others who depend upon such things for their livelihood.

Know someone who loves coffee, or chocolate, or handcrafted items? LWR (Lutheran World Relief ensures that when you make a purchase from their coffee, chocolate, and craft projects that the people who grow and make these things are given a fair price for their work ensuring that they too can have a Merry Christmas!

God's peace y'all

things i am thankful for

2007-11-22T13:22:00.001-05:00

that i finally was able to get my mammogram and it wasn't half as bad as i thought it would be.

that we have 2 cars so that we can still get around even though hubby's car in in the shop.

that we have enough money to pay the astronomical bill for hubby's car to be fixed.

that i have a friend who is willing to talk to me when i am freaking out even though she has lots of other things to deal with herself. (thanks pobble)

that i inherited my grandmom's rolling pin and could use it to make the pie crusts to go with the pumpkin pie.

that my brother and his wife, slick, we able to come north for thanksgiving and that they only had to deal with the traffic caused by the major accident (God be with those whose lives are affected by that tragedy.)

that my uncle will be at the thanksgiving table with us today.

that i didn't have to clean my whole house to host dinner today and that my parents are such wonderful hosts and that my mom is such a fantastic cook.

that slick is making the apple pie. my mouth is already watering.

that my dad is making his cranberry relish. mouth still watering.

that the princess kitty loves to bake, even though she makes a huge mess in the kitchen.

that the silent prince has learned how to wave bye-bye.

that my hubby is my hubby.

and that i have so many blessings... including all of you.

God's peace y'all and happy thanksgiving!

remembering

2007-11-11T08:23:00.001-05:00

this is the prayer that i spoke last year at the veteran's day service here in town.

O God, today we give you thanks for brave men and women throughout the history of our country.

We give you thanks for those who yearned for the ideal of liberty and independence.

We give you thanks for those who struggled to keep a divided country united.

We give you thanks for those who stood against the desires of madmen and their bloody solutions.

We give you thanks for those who answered the call to serve on foreign soil in nations divided by civil war.

We give you thanks for those who came home unappreciated and scorned.

We give you thanks for those who were captured by our enemies and those who were lost and remain missing, but not forgotten.

We give you thanks for those who give aid to our allies, for those who fight to protect not just Americans, but people of all nations, for those who wear a uniform many of us can not.

We give you thanks for those who have paid the ultimate sacrifices so that the ideals of liberty, independence, freedom, and justice are not just ideals we hope for, but realities we live.

We give you thanks, O God, for our veterans who have given of themselves in times of peace and in times of conflict.

We lift them up to you and ask for your blessing on them and on this day of remembrance.

And we pray for a world of such peace that their work and courage will never have been in vain.

Amen.

God's peace y'all

stealing a tag

2007-11-07T20:34:00.000-05:00

i always enjoy a good tag, even when i steal it from someone else.

1. Name one person who made you laugh last night?
the princess kitty did while blowing her nose. hubby believes children should not have noses until they are 18 and out of the house. listening to her blow her nose makes me agree 100% with him.

2.What were you doing at 0800?
heating up the water for my morning cup of tea so that i could then have my morning cup of coffee.

3. What happened to you in 2006?
do you know how hard it was for me to remember who made me laugh last night?

4. How many beverages did you have today?
tea, coffee, water, sip of hubby’s juice, and a sprite

5. What color is your hairbrush?
black

6. Where were you last night?
at home, heating up dinner, putting the kids in the tub and bed… then off to watch house and a very creepy law and order svu.

7.What color is your front door?
wood

8. Where do you keep your change?
in a little flapped compartment in my purse

9. What's the weather like today?
cold, but sunny. It finally feels like new england weather for this time of year

10. What's the best ice cream flavor?
ben & jerry’s marsha marsha, marshmallow

11. What excites you?
i don’t know? are the kids sleeping yet?

12. Do you want to cut your hair?
no, but I’ve been considering some color. Perhaps dark auburn

13.Are you over the age of 25?
nope, i’ve just been celebrating my 21st birthday for several years now

14.Do you talk a lot?
hubby often says i am stealing oxygen from people in 3rd world countries. do you think that means i talk a lot?

15. Do you watch the OC?
no

16. Do you make up your own words?
for suraly.

17. Are you a jealous person?
not at all

18. Name a friend whose name starts with an 'A'?
can’t think of a one and now i am sure i will be offending someone.

19. Name a friend whose name starts with a 'K'?
the fabulous kat-kat

20. Who's the first person on your received call list?
you mean i have to get up and check my phone? ok, hold on…. ah, the fabulous father of kat-kat

21. What does the last text msg you received say?
from the pobble… comments about her “boys” beating my “birds” in reference to the cowboys – eagles game last sunday.

22. Do you chew on a straw?
no, i suck on them otherwise no liquid gets through.

23. Where's the next place you are going?
downstairs for a soda

24. Who's the rudest person in your life?
right at this moment, the princess kitty who insists on reading me a book while i type this. (still waiting for the announcement that i’ve won the mother of the year award.)

25. What was the last thing you ate?
pizza with bacon topping

26. Will you get married in the future?
i certainly hope not since that would mean that i’ve lost the spouse i have currently

27. What's the best movie you've seen in the last 2 weeks?
buffy the vampire slayer. it’s been a slow 2 weeks (though i do love that movie)

28. When was the last time you did dishes?
i stuck some glasses in the dishwasher this moring, does that count?

29. Are you currently depressed?
no, why, has something happened?

30. Did you cry today?
almost, while watching an old M*A*S*H episode where colonel potter shares a bottle of brandy with the rest of the cast after his last war-buddy dies and he inherits it.

31. What was the last thing you said aloud?
“’ohana, stop it!” the dog is driving the cat crazy right under the chair i am sitting in.

32. What car do you drive and what Bumpersticker(s) do you have on it?
chevy blazer; one bumper sticker that reads, “women who behave rarely make history.”

33 Why did you answer this and post it?
i stole it from $2 because i’ve been having blogger’s block. a good tag always makes me happy.

God's peace y'all

BOO!!!

2007-10-31T22:42:00.000-05:00

God's peace y'all

the cow says "moo"

2007-10-21T19:31:00.000-05:00

we had the best time ever yesterday (saturday.)

my chiropractor suggested that we take the kids to one of the local farms the last time i went to see her. she had just taken her kids and they had a really good time. "you take a hay ride, feed the cows and then pick out a pumpkin." she told me. the only cost was the cost of the pumpkin.

well, it was even better than that.

we went out to lunch and then headed out to the farm after the princess kitty's soccer game (yeah, her team crushed the other team 4-1). we made it just in time to hop onto the hayride before it took off. we wound up on the second trailer with otter, the black lab and other families out for the day.

the silent prince sat between my legs and when i asked him if he was having fun he shot me the biggest grin ever! we rode through some rough farm terrain, over hills and through streams until we saw the cows. at first i figured the pathway the hayride took went right through the herd of cows, but then we stopped so that we could scoop up the hay and feed it to them. i helped the silent prince feed some of the bigger cows while hubby helped the princess kitty reach down to feed the calves. well, really she didn't need much help at all! and we all got a kick out of being able to pet them. the silent prince really enjoyed that part of it.

then we moved on to the pumpkin patch where we picked out the biggest pumpkin we could find. daddy chased the kids around while i guarded it as we waited for the next ride to pick us up.

while hubby had the pumpkin weighed and paid for i took the kids to pet the sheep and see the biggest pig i have ever seen in real life. it must have been over 300 pounds! (it certainly smelled like it weighed that much!)

i think hubby and i enjoyed ourselves as much as the kids did.

then it was off to target to get halloween costumes. i usually make them on the sewing machine (last year the princess kitty was a fairy cat and the silent prince was an apple slice with a worm), but i'm still suffering from the bursitis which makes sewing a bit difficult. this year mommy and kitty will be witches and the prince some sort of vampire/ghoul (or whatever i can create out of the cape and makeup we bought for him.)

tonight grandmom and grandpop came over for ribs and grandmom explained that in her day hayrides were for the teenagers to go on so that they could smooch to which hubby replied... "yuck!"

thanks dear.

God's peace y'all

a little support

2007-10-18T13:45:00.000-05:00

in my last post i talked about the fact that i will be getting my first mamogram soon, but the fact is i should have talked about the woman i knew in college who is now dying of breast cancer and needs more than a little support.

karen (whose story was featured on the ABC news site) and i weren't really friends, but she was good friends with my brother and his group of friends so we often found ourselves in the same circles. (my brother and i graduated from the same college together.)

karen could use prayers as well as her family and close friends. she recently had both breasts removed, but the cancer is in her bones and is now spreading throughout her body. as her doctor put it she is in between a rock and a hard place with very little wiggle room.

karen is only a year or two younger than i am and has small children and a wonderful husband and support group that cares deeply about her.

her story has reinforced a need in me to remember to take care of myself and to remind others to do the same. my last post was meant to be humorous, but this is serious stuff.

so... if you are a woman between the ages of 35-40 go get a mamogram. if you are over the age of 40 make certain you are getting them regularly. and don't forget to give yourselves self exams, no matter what age you are. if you are a mom, teach your daughters how to do them. early detection is the best hope for women who have breast cancer.

and pray for karen and all those who face this terrible disease.

God's peace y'all

getting squished

2007-10-15T09:53:00.000-05:00

october is breast cancer awareness month and so i have finally scheduled my first ever mamogram. at my last obgyn appointment my doctor told me that it was time to get a base-line.

i have now reached the age where i need to get base-lines and doctors use words that end in "itis" when i visit.

so i am preparing to get squished. and why not, the other day i got scanned in an mri for my shoulder, not the most pleasant experience i've ever endured especially since the brace they put on my shoulder to hold it still dug right into the spot on my back which really hurts.

but october isn't just breast cancer awareness month. it is also clergy appreciation month and i've been trying to come up with a way to make both those announcements together. however i am finding it difficult to come up with a nice way of saying that the congregation should acknowledge my boobs, because every way i've tried to say it that's exactly what it sounds like.

so here is a picture of my favorite boob-shot of me instead:

God's peace y'all!

worst fortune ever!!!

2007-10-12T20:05:00.000-05:00

we ordered chinese tonight for dinner. the princess kitty called dibbs on one of the two cookies in the bag so i ate the last one and this was my fortune:

"If it seems like the fates are against you today, they probably are."

thanks, thanks so much.

God's peace y'all and watch out for those fates.

vicoden, my new bff

2007-10-09T19:02:00.000-05:00

this will be a short post.

i have bursitis in my right arm and i just dropped my cell phone in the toilet before i flushed (it was in my pocket.)

think it's time to take more meds.

God's peace y'all

this will be a short update.

i slept until almost 11am today due to my new bff i am sure. when i finally pulled myself out of bed i fidgeted with my phone which WORKS! of course my second new bff are clorox wipes which i used on the phone.

and as a side note... i am certain that my phone is a gay man named lazarus. lazarus because he keeps rising from the dead and gay man because i just have a feeling about these things.

God's peace y'all

a rose is a rose is a rose

2007-10-03T08:52:00.000-05:00

i was reminded of my favorite poet today when i read crackerlilo's post. here she is painted by picasso.

for your amusement here are some of her quotes.

God's peace y'all.

not again

2007-09-28T21:14:00.000-05:00

this post will be a rant. this is your one and only warning on that.

they discovered more lead in toys made in china. these toys are thomas the train toys. thomas the train is a big hit with children with autism. they like the fact that thomas and the other trains don't show much emotion in their faces. it makes it easier for them to relate to the characters because people with autism don't often "get" facial clues.

damnit!

children with autism are more prone to getting lead posining because they are so habitual. take the silent prince who gets 80-90% of his sensory information from his mouth. everythingnew he gets he flicks and tastes. add to this the fact that lead paint tastes sweet.

what the hell do these people think they are doing? and what the hell are we doing buying so many things from a place that doesn't care about its people or the people of other countries?

am i generalizing? no, i am ranting! (ok, that's 2 warnings.)

my mother-in-law (hi, mom) has already announced that she will not be buying any toys for christmas this year. and that's just fine with me. the kids certainly don't need any more toys, but the fact that anyone has to make that decision frustrates me to no end.

ok, i feel a little better now.

God's peace y'all

i LOVE 69

2007-09-22T21:19:00.000-05:00

ok, first get your heads out of the gutter.

and i was born in 1970 so it has nothing to do with the year.

69 refers to the silent prince's body burden lead level.

it's been almost two years since he was first diagnosed with lead poisoning at which point the lead level in his blood was close to 60 (at a level of 70 or higher they talk about brain damage and fatalities) and his body burden level (the lead in his bones and soft tissues) was over 500.

this past week i took him for his blood test to see if the iron treatments we've been giving him helped move some of the lead from the bones and soft tissues into his blood. the brave boy didn't even flinch when they stuck him. he even laughed for the women drawing his blood. two days later we got a call from the lead clinic saying that his blood level had gone from a 29 to a 32 and that his body burden had gone from 102 to 69!

his blood level still isn't high enough to treat him, but this is the lowest his body burden has been ever!

YIPPEE! WA-HOO! HA-ZAH!

God's peace y'all

where were you when...

2007-09-19T09:21:00.000-05:00

oj simpson is back in the news. i've only caught bits and pieces of the many and various charges that have been brought against him. i commented to hubby last night that clearly what goes around comes around.

then today i read $2 who had this to say... and i think he is right. let's not give this man anymore of our time. let the authorities do their job and let us leave him to obscurity.

except that this got me to thinking. i always believed him guilty. not because of his race, but because it was clear that he was an abuser and abusers will often times kill those they abuse. the true sin of racism is that it corrupted his murder trial and inflicted new wounds on race relations back in 1994 when it was taking place.

i was in seminary during the trial and watched almost none of it, except what i couldn't escape. i worked in the refectory where we students and faculty ate our meals and remember clearly playing the radio as loudly as we could so that we could all hear the verdict before praying and sitting down for lunch. i think i was the one to pray, though i don't remember what i said.

not long after the faculty at the seminary decided we needed to have some special classes on race and i attended a forum where students and professors talked about the issues with race and racism. one of the professors, who was running the forum, introduced the topic by saying something like this:

"my generation is defined by the question, 'where were you when kennedy was shot?' this generation will be defined by the question, 'where were you when the oj verdict was read?'"

i thought it was a terrible question to be defined by. and then of course we inherited a new question in 2001, "where were you when the towers fell?"

which all begs the question, why can't we be defined by the positives that take place in our world? is it because we have so very few? is it because we disagree on what the real positives are?

can we not be determined by events like the berlin wall falling (anyone remember where you were that day?) or what you were doing during live aid?

i'm a firm believer in the power of positive thinking. i'm an ever firmer believer in the power of positive doing. and while people often come together in the aftermath of tragedy wouldn't life be better if we came together before tragedy struck so that we can ask and reflect back on questions like these:

where were you when the levies were rebuilt?
where were you when the peace accord was signed in the middle east?
where we you when our troops came home from iraq?
where were you when the law was signed that all children have health insurance?
where were you..?

God's peace y'all

i got mooned

2007-09-17T18:31:00.000-05:00

well, not really. this weekend was the annual harvest moon festival here in town and for the second year we had a booth at the fair.

last year our tent was right next to my chiropractor's booth. which was cool because they are cool people. this year, for electrical reasons, her tent was a few spots down from us and we were next to the mormons.

yes, the mormons.

who also needed electric and so i really don't understand why my chiropractor couldn't have occupied their space. it also puzzled me because the person who organizes the fair told me last year that he doesn't like to put two booths "selling" the same stuff right next to each other.

on the first day of the fair another pastor from town was walking around with two of her kids and i mentioned this fact to her. she wondered if they were put there purposefully so that my lutheran booth could counteract their booth. whatever the reason, it was weird to have them right next to us.

now, don't get me wrong. i am trying not to be judgemental, but i often hope that this particular group of people is very suprised when they get to heaven and discover they weren't quite right about a lot of things. (this is not to say that i expect the same won't happen to me.)

it was an odd thing to be neighbors. the first day i introduced myself as pastor cats from the lutheran church. and they (who couldn't have been more than 21 at best) introduced themselves as elder so and so and elder so and so. i told hubby later that i find it interesting that the mormons only seem to pick the best looking boys, which meant they were nice to look at although i kept wondering what kind of underwear they had on.

i also realized that while i am pretty good at small talk and not necessarily good at talking to strangers about God, that they are really bad at small talk but very good at talking about God as evident in this conversation.

cats: "so where are you both from."

elders so and so: "utah."

cats: "and how long have you been here?"

elders so and so after commisterating and doing some mathmatics: "about three years."

cats: "do you like it here?"

elders so and so: "it's nice."

cats, pausing to see if they want to ask anything about her.

elders so and so: "do you know anything about our church?"

cats: "a little bit." very short pause. "well, it was nice talking to you, i'd better get back to my booth."

while they sat on the curb i asked if they wanted a chair. i had an extra. nope, they were fine. later i asked if they wanted lollypops since the day was getting long and not many people seemed interested in either the mormons or the lutherans and i was told they had apples.

"you're so good." i told them.

i'll be honest and say i don't consider mormons to be christians. they have enough vast theological differences from the basic christian dogma for me to make that assertion. i would be more comfortable with the idea that they are a seperate religion than with the idea that they are a seperate sect of the religion.

i did get a kick out of all of it, especially when a reporter i've worked with in the past from one of the local papers stopped by and made this astute observation: there are some really interesting dichotomies at work here, she said. the fried food cart was opposite the booth for balanced body wellness center (my chiropractor), the old bitties who sold the crocheted goods were next to the sorority sisters whose combined age wasn't as much as the amount of years that the old bitties had been going to the harvest moon fair.

all in all it was a weird weekend which ended in complete exhaustion and a real desire for a vacation which i have no time left to take, but at least i got my fried dough with hot apple topping and whipped cream. mmm, fried dough.

God's peace y'all

one in 94

2007-09-13T09:33:00.000-05:00

last night at about 10pm my phone rang. rarely, if ever, does my phone ring that late at night. as i reached for my purse to fish it out i looked down at my jammies and hoped it wasn't someone from the church to say there was terrible accident and could i come to the hospital to pray.

but it was my teacher-friend (tf) who had earlier yesterday watched a story on the news about autism. she often calls when she sees something pertinent to my family's situation on the tv so that i can check it out.

apparently, governor corzine (NJ-D) just signed a bunch of bills into laws having to do with autism. why? because while the national autism rate is 1 in every 152 children new jersey's rate is 1 in every 94 children.

this is pertinent to me because both kids were born in new jersey and the silent prince was diagnoised with pdd-nos (pervasive developmental disorder - not otherwise specified). pdd-nos became autism when we moved here and finally saw a developmental doctor.

i did some googling this morning and found this article about what took place.

first, it made me happy that i voted for corzine back in the day. my tf told me that he had said something to the effect of not being this affected by events since 9/11.

the new laws include helping doctors make earlier diagnoses and putting money and programs into place for children with autism who eventually become adults and are left-behind by the school system.

these two things, in and of themselves, are almost enough for me. it takes long periods of time to even get to see a specialist who can give an autism diagnosis (sometimes over 1 year) and i worry about what will happen to my silent prince once he is 21 and can't go to school any longer.

secondly, it broke my heart. hubby and i always joked that we hated the fact that are children are from new jersey. (growing up in philadelphia can give you those feelings about new jersey.) i know that i can't ask questions like: what if he hadn't been born in new jersey? because that's just a dumb thing to do. i can however be frustrated by the fact that so many children from new jersey are autistic.

and that's exactly how i feel.

God's peace y'all

the day after

2007-09-12T08:21:00.001-05:00

6 years ago, yesterday, i remember finally leaving work and going home to see what had happened. i had only heard the reports on the radio and from the people who showed up at church needing to pray. (tuesdays were typically my day off, but i had to attend some meeting early that morning and had decided to make it a work day.)

last night as i flipped channels on the tv i remembered that 6 years ago it was a struggle to watch tv... especially the day after and the day after that. it seemed like weeks went by before there wasn't a constant focus on the pictures of those planes hitting the towers and people jumping to their deaths from burning buildings.

my favorite television moments after were the emmy's. ellen degeneres hosted and started off by saying that the best way to deal with our enemies was to have a gay woman hosting. and then later steve martin jumped up to accept someone else's award because he was tired of people not being there to accept them on their own.

i didn't watch any of the specials or news remembrances yesterday. i couldn't bring myself to do it. i suppose it stems from those days of not being able to get away from it in the one thing that is an escape (television.)

but i did remember and i know that for some people that day still hasn't, nor will it ever, truly be over.

God's peace y'all

he was in the basement

2007-09-09T20:31:00.000-05:00

first, the irony: yesterday we attended a local fair and the police were there offering fingerprinting and child information packets for kids and i had the silent prince fingerprinted.

now, the story:

sunday afternoons are family time for us. either my parents come the 25 minutes to our house or we travel the 25 minutes to theirs. since they happen to have central air and it has suddenly turned hot we made the decision to head to their house today.

the silent prince has a wonderful time at his grandparent's. he has the full run of the house and grandmom is constantly feeding him all sorts of goodies. we usually know exactly where he is just by listening for the sound of a bouncing ball on their hard wood floors (we still have hope for the nba someday because he dribbles like a pro).

we had a great dinner out on the back deck and the prince and princess kitty enjoyed ice cream treats (as did their mom). after we had filled up on grandmom's cooking grandmom took the kids in for a bath (i always pack the bedtime clothes for the ride home), hubby went to make his sunday call to his mom and grandpop and i enjoyed a few minutes sitting outside and talking before cleaning up the mess from dinner.

by the time the kids were out of the tub and dressed, hubby was off the phone, and the dishes were in the dishwasher it was time to hit the road. sunday is afterall a school night and it takes 25 minutes to drive home.

somewhere in the midst of collecting all our things the grownups all wound up in the back of the ranch-style house that my parents own and hubby asks: "where's the silent prince?"

we listen for the sound of a bouncing ball and hear none and begin to move through the house. my dad hits the kitchen first... the back door is unlocked... it is dark out... the silent prince is nowhere to be seen.

we all run out the door. hubby and the princess kitty make a dash into the neighbor's yard. the yards are all open and the silent prince likes to make life difficult by taking off towards the fish pond at the neighbor's house two doors down.

but we can't see, because it is dark. the prince doesn't talk and so he won't answer us if he hears us calling his name. he also thinks running from us when we chase after him is a really fun game.

i go around to the front of the house and scan the street. my father has gone back inside to look for the flashlight which is not where he usually keeps it. my mom pops her head out the front door and i tell her to check his favorite hiding places in the house once more. (one time he hid in the closet of the guest room for several minutes before we finally found him.)

hubby and the princess kitty emerge onto the street from a few houses down. he tells me to search the house once more and call 911.

back into the house i go, into the kitchen. my mother had looked down the basement steps, but the lights weren't on and we know how much he loves to be outside, but i am looking once more before calling the police and launching a full scale search.

i flip the light switch and take two steps down into the basement... and there he is, playing with a toy he has found in an old pile of stuff that must be going to a tag sale at church.

the princess kitty is behind me, i scream: "I HAVE HIM! I FOUND HIM! TELL YOUR DADDY I HAVE HIM!"

and i run down the steps and grab him, much to his dismay, and won't let him go. i hear hubby moments later tell grandpop, "no harm, no foul."

i can barely breathe and neither can the prince for how hard i am holding him. when i finally let him go it is to find myself in my mother's embrace. the only thing that keeps me from falling completely apart is that i don't want to upset the princess kitty any more than she is already upset.

and now both of them are fast asleep and safe in their beds and i thank God that i didn't need to use that set of fingerprints tonight.

God's peace y'all... and kiss your kids if you have them.

sing along with me

2007-09-02T23:39:00.000-05:00

well, dondon said he expected me to have music on my blog by the time i got home from vacation. it took a little longer than that... but here it is... a small sampling of what i listen to and sing with, at the top of my lungs, while i'm driving in my car.

and yes, the princess kitty (at age 8) knows all the words and can sing along too.

God's peace y'all... i'm going to bed now.

it's the most wonderful time of the year

2007-08-30T08:04:00.001-05:00

the princess kitty waiting for the bus to take her to her first day of third grade

the princess kitty getting on the bus to go to her first day of third grade

the silent prince waiting for the bus to take him to his first day of kindergarten

the silent prince getting on the bus to take him to his first day of kindergarten

God's peace y'all

put them on backwards and other exciting news

2007-08-22T19:07:00.000-05:00

here's what i did...

i took a pair of old footy pajamas and cut the feet out then i put them on the silent prince... backwards!

he can't get out of them, can't pee all over the floor, can't make a mess when he poops!

i am an amazing brilliant mom!

also... i just received my first check for the work i did for my denominations publishing house. i am now officially a paid writer!!!

God's peace y'all

catching up with real life

2007-08-20T18:59:00.000-05:00

the title for this post is thanks to $2.

first, let me say that catching up with real life sucks.

i've been trying to read some blogs, but there has been little time to really focus on any of that let alone write in mine. work is exhausting as it tends to be once you've returned home from a week and a half away. i'm getting lots done, but in the process realizing that the amount that needs to be done is way too much for a normal work day.

the silent prince is not in school or day care and it's frustrating to balance time between working at home and at work. (thank God for computers! and thank God for hubby who shares the time with me.)

speaking of the silent prince...

i've determined why it is so hard to potty train boys. it is because they have a natural toy hanging between their legs. and when your son with autism likes to flick things... well...

he has discovered that he can pull down his pants and pee everywhere. the other day i was working at the kitchen table and looked up to see him standing in the next room at the toy box peeing into it. he was so proud of himself. i only mopped the floor about 10 times that day... not to mention the times i had to clean and febreeze the couch, and put his clothes and stuffed animals into the wash.

i won't even go into why my knickname at home is the poop lady.

and then there are other things. things that i can't write about because they are personal for a whole other person and it's not my place to mention them here. and so for me there is a sadness in the universe i can do little about except to pray and hope that the sadness will turn to joy.

i have a few other random thoughts...

one is from vacation. traveling along listening to the music on my pink ipod shuffle via radio i discovered a truism in life: "who's cooler than david bowie?" i dare you to try and come up with someone.

the evangelical lutheran church in amercia (ELCA) of which i am a memeber had their national assembly while i was away. of all the things they decided upon one decision was to allow bishops more discretion in disciplining clergy they "discover" are living in same-sex committed relationships. a small step on the issue of homosexuality and the church, but a step none-the-less.

the beta version of the web-site i wrote for which is managed by my denomination's (ELCA) publishing house is now up and running. haven't gotten paid yet, but... i got to see MY STUFF in print!

i should post my latest sermon (since i haven't in awhile, but then i haven't preached since before vacation). it includes a funny story about my mother-in-law and myself and more thoughts on the decision made by the ELCA.

and then there is this random and yet disturbing image...

God's peace y'all and may the hello kitty force be with you...

"Luke, come to the pink side."

so many options

2007-08-12T19:08:00.000-05:00

since returning home from vacation i realized that there were too many options as to what to call this post all of which would change the outcome of what i would actual write:

~back to life, back to reality (one of my favorite songs from the 80's)

~i can face the world again (my love of rum and ice cream, but not rum ice cream)

~why did he do that? (but i can't blog this because it would be a rant and reveal things that aren't for me to reveal)

~mom, am i too young to go skinny dipping? (don't know that i should blog about that either!)

~the challenges of unpacking

and so on...

vacation was wonderful, but it was too short. my sis-in-law (aunt kimmy) had a drink waiting for me (hubby's mom even emailed her to tell her she'd better have one ready... thanks mom.) and while traffic was horrible getting onto the outer banks we made good time. six years in a row we've gone and this is the first year that we weren't the last to arrive.

i read two wonderful books, both from my lovely sis-in-law, slick. the time travelers wife and wicked; the life and times of the wicked witch of the west. both very different and both well worth the read. and of course she and i did our annual take the princess kitty shopping day (it was only about 99 degrees that day) and then we went out to eat with her and brother and hubby for an amazing meal with ice cream for dessert at the fudgery (they actually mix fudge with the ice cream on a cold slab of marble.)

we spent a day on the beach riding waves with my fearless children, hubby, and my pseudo-godmother. i watched an amazing thunder and lightning storm over the sound from the balcony off of our room one night. went swimming just about every day in our pool, ate great food, and played blokus with various members of the household.

the highlight of the trip had to be when i walked up the stairs to see my dad throwing a ball to the silent prince who was CATCHING it! the night we went out to dinner i came home to find out that he had sat at the dining room table and rolled the ball back and forth with pseudo-godmother for 5-10 minutes!

i've also discovered that i did not give birth to human children but fish tha tonly look like human children.

and now i am back and must rely upon this picture to remind me of the joys of this wonderful week:

God's peace y'all

whoops

2007-08-05T17:53:00.000-05:00

sitting next to my uncle at the bar/island which separates the kitchen from the living room and dining room of our vacation house while reading blogs and drinking a rum and coke he happens to mention that i have not linked my brother's blog on this site.

what kind of sister and i?

well, i have rectified the situation on his very own laptop. check out acknowledge... move on

God's peace y'all (and yes, i'm having a FANTASTIC time on vaca!)

3 things that make me happy

2007-08-02T08:35:00.000-05:00

packing for vacation.

discovering that the bottle of strawberry daquiri mix in my fridge already has alcohol in it.

and purple chrome nailpolish

God's peace y'all

she understood

2007-07-31T19:52:00.000-05:00

hubby and i ran to the mall yesterday with the silent prince. we wanted to get a few things for vacation. hubby loves the store steve and barry's so we went there. sarah jessica parker of sex and the city fame has a new line of clothes there which are fabulous and downright inexpensive. (i'm wearing a new shirt and shorts right now that cost a little over $20 total.) the line is called bitten and you can check it out here.

her motto: fashion is not a luxury. i love it!

out of the steve and barry's i spotted a payless shoe and mentioned to hubby that since the kids have toes sticking out of their shoes perhaps we could find some end of the season shoes for them to wear while we're away.

we pushed the silent prince in the store in his new stroller (a three-wheeled number made by jeep) and searched the kids shoes only to discover that it is not yet the end of the summer according to the prices on the shoes. hubby (who had just bought a pair of sandles) was checking out the men's shoes when i noticed some girl's flip flops on an end cap. i was looking through the sizes to see if any would fit the princess kitty when i heard "no, no" behind me.

an elderly woman had snuck up on us and must have said hello to the silent prince when he grabbed the skin on her arm and started to squeeze and wasn't letting go.

i suppose there was too much stimulation in the payless and he was on overload. when this happens or when he gets frustrated because he wants something we won't give him he pinches or bites.

i pulled him away from her and did the only other thing i knew how to do: apologize, apologize, apologize.

she said over and over again that she was ok and that it was alright, but i was really worried that he had hurt her (he's certainly hurt me when he's done that.) and then the most amazing thing happened: she took my hand, looked straight into my eyes and told me her neice has a son with autism. i felt my eyes well up with tears; i really thought i might lose it right then and there.

she must have held my hand for 5 minutes in the middle of the payless. she told me how he sometimes did the same thing, but how much she loved him, how much her whole family loved him, and how special he was.

she told me the silent prince was a gift.

and she is right.

she was a gift too. who knew angels liked to shop at payless shoe source.

God's peace y'all

2007-07-30T11:43:00.000-05:00

this is where i will be saturday for one glorious week!

for the 6th summer my parents, uncle, brother, his wife, hubby, the kids, and i will be on vacation together. this will be the second year that a family friend will be joining us.

we head out friday to spend the night at the half-way mark with hubby's sister and her husband. we've been doing this for the last two years and she always has a mixed drink waiting for me.

i have all but the last harry potter to read (i read the first one years ago), an 800 page historical fiction about mary queen of scots, and whatever really good book my sis-in-law brings along and lets me borrow.

i expect the hardest decisions i will have to make on a day to day basis will be:
what should i have for lunch today?
should i swim in the pool or go shopping?
do i want to go to the beach today or tomorrow?
is it too early to take a nap?

ahh... saturday!

God's peace y'all

what i learned today

2007-07-26T18:21:00.000-05:00

it is NOT illegal for a parent to take off their belt and hit their child with it where i live.

God's peace y'all and keep on your belts to keep up your pants

no weddings and a funeral

2007-07-19T09:18:00.000-05:00

i'm home again from PA where my grandmother, whose name was pansy, lived and died. it was a good trip all things considered. we were able to take the kids to the pool at the hotel the night before which was fun and relaxing after the long drive. and the silent prince slept the whole night thru in the hotel room (that NEVER happens).

we missed the family viewing the night before. had i been ready to leave when i wanted to leave we might have made it, but we would all have been dressed in shorts and t-shirts and as it turned out the princess kitty was pretty adamant about not seeing her great-grandmom's body anyway.

there was an open casket set up at the church so i was able to kiss her good-bye. it feels funny to kiss such a cold thing. because the body was right at the entrance to the church we spent quite a bit of time outside with the kids during which time this exchange happened:

man from the church: "you're from connecticut? is it true what they are going to do up there?"

cats: "i don't know, what are we doing?"

man from the church: "you're going to let those aliens off scott free?"

cats: "what aliens? you mean we have martians in connecticut? because i am totally opposed to martians."

man from the church: "now i'm not prejudice, but those mexicans... they have all those drug problems down there."

cats: "that's why they all want to come here. to get away from all those drug problems."

man from the church: "but they bring them all up here."

cats: "i don't know, i see a lot of drug problems caused by white kids int he suburbs"

cats' brother: "ok, no no more politics."

i was the preacher at the funeral (only almost lost it once) and though i was very nervous (why, i don't know) it was a good sermon and it felt right.

my grandparents were married for 71 years before my grandfather died almost 11 years ago and they had 6 daughters. the first birth was a boy, but he was still born. one daughter, who was my godmother, died when i was in college. from the six daughters came 16 grandchildren (my brother is the youngest) and from us came 31 great grandchildren (the silent prince being the youngest.

at the funeral of my uncle (who's wife it was who died of cancer) we put the princess kitty (then a wee baby) in the arms of the oldest great grandchild. she had just gotten married and we had a long conversation about how they were going to wait a couple of years before having any children. my grandmother took one look at her holding the princess kitty and said, "she'll rub off on you." not even a month passed and we heard she was pregnant with the first great-great grandchild. last thursday she gave birth the to 6th great-great grandchild two days before my grandmom died at the age of 100.5.

right now i know she is with my grandfather, wearing red, and dancing with a smile on her face.

God's peace y'all

this was my day

2007-07-16T18:24:00.000-05:00

well, first yesterday was hubby's installation at his new church. it was an awesome day! church was great in the morning and the service later was wonderful. lots of family and friends including hubby's roommate and best friend from seminary who came to preach perhaps the best installation sermon i have ever heard.

his mom was with us this weekend, which is always wonderful, but last night i was certain he said that he would take her to the train station and i would pick up the silent prince from the bus.

so i had my alarm set for 8am, but since i've had this horrific cold or allergies or whatever is making me cough and snot-up for the last week i decide that i would reset the alarm for 9 and sleep another hour.

of course the phone rang twice (i use my cell phone for my alarm clock so it was right next to my head). i took the first call, but didn't even check to see who the second call was from.

after my mother-in-law was out of the shower i jumped in because i had a 10am meeting. downstairs ready to go hubby asks where i'm headed. why? because he thought i was taking his mom to the train station. the argument ended with me saying i would be back in 45 minutes to get her and then leaving the house.

then my appointment was late (she apparently was having a similar morning) i was too tired to have a real conversation with her and hopefully all our plans will make sense when we go to actually implement them.

the ride to the train was very nice (though i was still trying to wake up) i love my mother-in-law and so spending time with her is no biggy. i thought i would walk her into the station, but she told me to just drop her off so i missed running in to the dunkin donuts for the iced latte i was now beginning to crave.

heading back i figured i would hit at least one dunkin donuts and be able to get my latte and a bagel, since i was now hungry. finally i find one (which is weird that it took me so long since they are EVERYWHERE in CT). i pull in to the drive thru, except that it isn't the drive thru so i turn around and try again. i wait forever, straining to hear the very soft voice that finally says, "can i help you?"

"a medium iced caramel latte with whipped cream and a..."
"wa-wa-wa-wa..."
"i'm sorry, what?"
"our latte machine isn't working."
"give me a plain bagel."

and i wouldn't have cared that it cost me $1 for just a plain bagel and no latte if just once the woman at the window had smiled, or said hello, or have a nice day... or anything remotely friendly.

so now i am in a very foul mood, but wait... it gets better and by better i mean worse.

my cell phone rings. it is the school nurse at the silent prince's summer school. he has bitten another child and the nurse called the pediatrician to see if his tetanus shot was up to date and guess what! it's not! so, the nurse informs me that he can not come back to school until he's gotten his tetanus. doesn't matter that his appointment is next month. i call the pediatrician and they say i can bring him in at 10 of 4 today.

i have to make 2 visits and i decide i will do them before going back home. i realize at this point in the game that if i go home i will never want to go back out again. one visit is at a nursing home the other is at the hospital. which one should i go to first? well, the one closest to the dunkin donuts so i can get my latte of course.

so i go get the latte (and i must say that i have never been displeased with the service at this particular place. my latte was ready the moment after i was given my change and the lady actually smiled at me.) and then i head to the nursing home. my visit is not in her bed. i go to the nursing station and ask... of course i have shown up right in the middle of lunch.

so i go find my visit eating lunch with her daughter and tell her that i will go to the hospital and come back once i am done there.

so i go to the hospital. i've been to see this woman once already, but i can't remember her room number so i go to the information desk. their computers are down. i laugh... this is MY day afterall. i know that she's on the 5th floor and i remember which way i went the last time so i figure i can read the names on each of the doors until i find her.

i get to the 5th floor and decide rather than reading names i will just ask at the nurses' station.

and do you know what they tell me? she's about to go down for some tests. i laugh again. it seems like a better idea than heading up to the 8th floor and checking myself in to the psychiatric unit.

i run in to see her anyway. we have a lovely 5 minute visit before the orderly comes in and says she has to take her away. we pray and i head out to go back to the nursing home.

my grandmother's funeral is wednesday and it will take us over 4 hours to get there so after agonizing over whether or not i should miss an important council meeting on tuesday night i finally made the decision that we should go tomorrow around 3pm (just in time for all the traffic of course) and spend the night in the hotel.

hotel life is not easy when you have a 5 yr old with autism, but if we leave at 3 we will be there in time to go swimming in the pool and relax before wednesday comes. everyone at church is very sympathetic and insistent that i do what i need to do. being able to arrive before 2 in the morning and take the kids to the pool sounds like a good plan especially since the princess kitty is now devastated that she will be missing the biggest and best field trip of the summer in order to go to a funeral.

there is a message on my cell phone. hubby has just remembered that he has vacation bible school from 6-9pm on tuesday and he feels funny about missing it.

i contemplate turning around and going back to the hospital to check myself in on the 8th floor again, instead i continue to the nursing home.

in the end, hubby made arrangements to not be at vacation bible school, the silent prince got his shot (and didn't even flinch my little brave boy), and now i am trying to finish writing my funeral sermon for wednesday.

and that's been my day.

God's peace y'all

good bye

2007-07-14T11:42:00.000-05:00

my grandmother died this morning. i'm sad, but ok and thankful for prayers that have been offered.

God's peace y'all

and my brain is currently completely empty

2007-07-11T12:44:00.001-05:00

i have been tagged by the pobble

and given a "thinking blogger award. apparently there was some dicussion about who would actually get me as one of their tags. how nice to get "fought" over.

here are the rules:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think,

2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme,

3. Optional: Proudly display the ‘Thinking Blogger Award’ with a link to the post that you wrote

since i can't tag the pobble again (someone else got this honor) here are my five in alphabeltical order:

Acknowledge, Move On. this is my brother's blog. he's always been a deep thinker, read his blog and you'll know why

ABB. she has amazing thoughts and expresses them unlike anyone else i know.

Bible Bending. this is a new one for me. it examines the bible in pop culture.

Post Secret. i read this every sunday morning before church to put my life back into perspective

and honestly, everyone else has been taken by someone else already. but 4 is almost 5.

God's peace y'all

this time

2007-07-09T06:25:00.001-05:00

i'm going to go see my grandmother. it's about a 4 hour trip and the decision was made yesterday to go with my mom. i didn't go when my paternal grandmother was dying. i had a chance and we decided not to in the end because i was days from giving birth to the silent prince. she died 12 hours before my water broke and i missed the funeral.

i don't have time to write the whole story. gotta go shower and get moving and ready for the trip.

i'll be back on tuesday evening.

pray for her passing to be peaceful and our hearts to be lifted.

God's peace y'all

FindingAvalon

"holy" crap

displaced, but not without a home

oops

autism and faith

amusement, orange wristbands, and generosity

damn those starving children in africa

*sigh*

come on irene

spotsylvania

this is my life - deal with it!

still searching

world austim awareness day

the 10th anniversary of my 29th birthday

in the 60's

it's time

today's word is moron

thank you for the inconvenience

abilify

radio edit

some welcome

everybody was kung fu fighting - panda style

HE DID IT!!!

too hot

the next best thing

Memorial Day

am i really that warped?

of mexican food, coffee, chocolate, and bullet-proof glass

is it still a detox if...

just walkin' in the rain

my own private cheering section

day 8

rhymes with witch

happily-ever-after-life

i want a cookie

driving observations

toxic

autism awareness

29 again

if you want my two cents

holy week

things that suck - in no particular order

some t and a

doctors and diagnoses

a new favorite

fave fours

what are they teaching our children?

8 inches addendum or how to make a hot toddy

8 inches

writing about writing addendum

writing about writing

what kind of world do you want

a day in the life

we're having a heat wave

chilly willy

ode to a good night's sleep

misery is a butterfly or don't you want me baby?

undecided?

of hot pink, fuzzy robes

I GOT SPOONS!!!

HAPPY HOLY-DAYS

death takes a holiday

what it's really about

a dark christmas

cancelled

when the punishment fits the crime

more christmas gift ideas

the wheels on the bus go slip and slide

still here

things i am thankful for

remembering

stealing a tag

BOO!!!

the cow says "moo"

a little support

getting squished

worst fortune ever!!!

vicoden, my new bff

a rose is a rose is a rose

not again

sigh