you can't complain if you don't...

VOTE

my dad has been pushing a particular candidate to hubby and me; he's a person we've already decided to vote for so he can stop now. the other night, hubby got roped into a phone poll from the other candidate and when asked why we were voting the way we were told the pollster that our candidate didn't make him want to vomit the way the other candidate did.

and the pollster typed it all down.

then today i stopped by dondon009 who had this on his blog:

Dear Friend,

It's come down to this. After months of hard work and big hopes, we've got seven days left to change America - seven days to affirm our belief in better days ahead.

In seven days, voters across America will have the opportunity to vote for the America we dream of - to vote for a change in Washington that will allow our government to start working for the people it represents.

It's a change that means renewed efforts to make health care affordable and available for all Americans.

It's a change that means the oil companies won't be writing our energy policy so we'll have a chance for real energy independence in this country.

It's a change that means a new Iraq policy so that we can change course and start bringing our troops home.

All of this - and more, is possible - but only if you show up and VOTE.

If you stay home, and don't demand change with the power of your VOTE, we'll face two more years of the same failed leadership and the same failed course.

We can do better. We must do better.

It's this easy:

Exercise your right to VOTE.

Sincerely,

U.S. Senator Barack Obama

i don't like to publicly endorse candidates or a political party, but i will say this: if you don't vote you can't complain.

my parents always took my brother and me with them when they voted. i loved the idea of going into that curtained booth with them and helping them to pull the lever. i couldn't wait to turn 18 and be given the chance to go into that booth by myself.

i turned 18 right before a presidential campaign... my candidate lost, but i remember feeling like i had been part of a very important process none-the-less.

i plan on taking the princess kitty with me on the 11th so that she can have that same experience when she grows up. it won't be the first time that she's been in a voting booth and i will do my best to make certain it's not the last.

please take the time to vote next tuesday. if you haven't registered to vote then do it now, even if it means you can't vote until the next set of elections. this country is great for so many reasons, but won't remain so if we become apathetic to who serves in public office.

i won't say that i don't care who you vote for, the fact is i do... i just won't tell you who to vote for... and to vote!

trust me... it feels great!

God's peace y'all

happy halloween

you can find more of mike's cartoons here.

this one came from my uncle.

God's peace y'all and a happy samhain

calgon, take me away...

remember that commercial? i don't remember ever using calgon, but i remember the feeling that it promoted of relaxation and bubbles. ahhh...

both the kids are sick; the green snot, fever, and coughing kind of sick so it's only a matter of time before hubby and i give into the aches we are feeling.

and just in time for halloween too. the princess kitty missed trick-or-treating last year because she was sick. i don't know how we'll handle the disappointment if we have a repeat tomorrow.

i made both their costumes. the princess kitty is going to be (are you aready for this?) a fairy cat. (her idea) and the silent prince is going as his favorite food: a slice of apple. after working so hard on the costumes i hope they get to wear them. at least the princess kitty went to a halloween party at the ymca yesterday so she had the chance to meow and flap her fairy wings.

the good news is that the new church secretary started today. she's wonderful and i'm looking forward to feeling like someone else can staff the office. it's been over a month since the last secretary up and quit without warning. at least she left the password for the computer...

and i'm trying to take some of the afternoon off. after working 8 straight days i need a break. the time change was wonderful sunday morning, but now it's starting to wear on me. i climbed into bed at 11:00 last night... but really it was 12 and then it took an hour to fall asleep... so i was up until midnight, but really it was 1am.

and that's all i have to say, but at least i said something...

God's peace y'all

she took the words right out of my mouth

i haven't had lots of time to blog or read anyone else's blog lately. the church secretary up and quit about 3+ weeks ago without any notice and i've been pulling double duty ever since. (the good news is that we've had one really great interview and have 3 more scheduled next week... )
but today, i decided to take a look at abb's blog (she's first in my alphabetized list of favorites) and read this and decided it was well worth giving you all a link and then a thought... what if it had said this:

John 13:34
"Jesus said, 'I give you a new commandment, that you tolerate one another. Just as I have tolerated you, you also should tolerate one another.'"

God's peace y'all

our hero

uncle jefro raised $200 in his name towards autism.

this past weekend we travelled to see hubby's family and i got permission to put his picture up on the blog.

and i got to say a big THANK YOU to him.

if you are looking for something to watch on tv this sunday check out night of too many stars on comedy central.

and this friday, hubby and i will go to the fencing company to see about fencing in our backyard so that the silent prince can play outside without our worry that he'll run away if we turn our heads. this, because of the money that was raised at the children's cabaret last month equalled almost $3,000.

wanna donate somehow? you can go here.

God's peace, y'all

Jesus loves the little Children

finally, i've posted two sermons on the sermon site.

both are about children.

God's peace y'all!

except the first time i was saddam

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

You Are Surrealism

Dreamy and idealistic, you've created a world that is all your own. It's very likely that you've either dabbled in drugs or are naturally trippy. You are always trying to push beyond the boundaries of your culture and society. You believe that art, love, and freedom can change the world.

What Art Movement Are You?

What Your Soul Really Looks Like
You are very passionate and quite temperamental. While you can be moody, you always crave comfort.

You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds.

You believe that people see you for how you are, not how you look. But deep down, you know that's not exactly true.

Your near future is still unknown, and a little scary. You'll get through wild times - and you'll textually enjoy it.

and finally...

You May Be a Bit Borderline...

Your mood swings make a roller coaster look tame! When you're up, you're a little bit crazy... And when you're down, your whole world is crashing Scary thing is, these moods can change by the minute!

What Personality Disorder Are You?

God's peace y'all

I DID IT! or potty-mouth

I GOT THE SILENT PRINCE TO GO PEE-PEE ON THE POTTY TWICE NOW!!!

yeah, it's good enough news to share in caps.

God's peace y'all

be our guest

back in june, the congregation i serve had a big celebration to commemorate all that we had gone through and accomplished with the lead project. as a side note, the silent prince's lead levels are now: blood level 39 (too low to treat, but close) and body burden: 70 (that's down from over 500.) i asked my mom if she would ask some people, from her congregation, who were musically inclined, if they might be willing to come and bring their talents to the service.


my mom has the ability to get people to do things and this time was no exception. she brought along a flutist and a soloist named kristen huffman.

apparently kristen was pretty moved by the whole service, especially hubby's sermon and later on mom told me she wanted to do a benefit for the silent prince. i have to say that i was a bit confused... did she want to do a benefit for the silent prince, the congregation or the lead clinic at yale (where the donations from the service were sent)?

then, a little over a month ago, mom and dad informed us we had to keep last saturday's date open because kristen and their organist bill, had organized a children's cabaret to raise money for the prince.

the cabaret would cater to children; the waiters and waitresses carried around trays of food, including chicken nuggets and juic boxes, and entertained tables by singing songs from disney movies. the performers, mostly children and teens, played the piano, sang songs, and performed musical numbers from children's shows. the room was decorated with white lights and balloons and each table was strewn with lollipops and fruit snacks.

kristen and her cohost for the evening, a 12 year old girl, dressed up like belle from beauty and the beast and asked all the young performers what they wanted to be when they grew up. the opening number was the song from the movie: "be our guest."

what none of them knew before hand was that it is one of the prince's favorite movies and when they sang the song to him there was such recognition on his face...

i could easily have called this post "the kindness of strangers." about half of the people there were members of my parents' church, but the rest were family of the performers and didn't know us.

about half-way through the caberet kristen asked us to say a little bit about the prince and our situation. not to be left out of the spotlight the princess kitty stood next to me and helped explain what life was like with a child who was autistic. (btw, she wants to be a ballet teacher.)

the princess and i explained how we'd like to have a fence built in our backyard so that the prince can play outside (which he LOVES to do) without fear that he will run out into the street if we turn our head for a moment (he's done it before, the quick little bugger).

the other day, mom called and said: build the fence. the caberet had raised $2,800.

$2,800! i was floored and it's been until now that i could get up off the floor and write about it.

so we are building a fence and who knows what with what's left over. i feel filled with possibilities.

on the way home from the cabaret that night, hubby and i agreed that we really didn't care about the money. it was the fact that so many people, many of them strangers, had offered us such support... such amazing support.

and i am so grateful.

God's peace y'all

i'm mad as hell and i'm not going to take it anymore

i posted this on a message board i frequent in response to a post about the pope's unfortunate comments about muslims. it's mostly a bunch of clergy who post, but sometimes non-clergy types add their two cents.

i think i'm a bit upset. you be the judge...

what did jesus mean when he said we were to love our enemies? what about loving our neighbors?

i feel a little like rodney king: can't we all just get along?

and moderate muslims are doing exactly what many moderate christians do... say nothing when people die of starvation or are oppressed. i don't think it mattered what the pope intended or the fact that extremists were going to take it wrong... what matters is how we treat people who would do us harm. and it's not about being careful that we don't offend them in case they use it as an excuse to hurt us... it's about loving our enemies... speaking a word of love.

and what really gets me... we are supposed to be the ones speaking the word of love... no matter what. there are enough people out there preaching hate and hurt that the word of love is losing its potency and its power and too many christians are too silent about it because we are afraid or angry or intolerant.

and i'm tired of the silence and the fear and the anger and the intolerance. i'm tired of arguments like this one. the pope said the wrong thing, not because it pissed off some muslim people, but because it wasn't a word of love and his job, his calling, just like ours is to make sure that word is never silenced or left unheard.

God's peace y'all

living with disappointment or EVS

last year hubby and i became fans of rock star INXS. i was a child of the 80's and a big INXS fan, so i enjoyed the show and bought the cd for hubby as a gift. (the pobble even bought me the rock star cd for christmas- my request.)

so of course we settled in to watch the show again this summer: rock star supernova. now the princess kitty and i watched american idol together so we have been letting her watch rock star this season even when it goes past her bedtime. we've decided that being good parents is bringing our daughter up with an appreciation for rock n roll.

the favorite all season has been dilana... the rest have always been second best or at the bottom. i've been a big fan of storm and magni and others, but i rooted for dilana because it excites me to think that a woman could front a band for the likes of tommy lee, gilby clark, and jason newsted. i also rooted for her because i believed she was the one who could front them.

the last few weeks have been exciting on the show. the talent this year is fantastic, but each week i've expected one particular person to be the next to go and each week i've been wrong. not that this particular person wasn't any good, just that i didn't think he was right. that person, lukas, has become the front man for the band.

yes, he's talented... but as hubby puts it: "i can never understand a thing he sings." he's got a beautiful voice, but as i put it to the pobble last night... i will never buy their cd. i would have listened if toby or magni had won... but i am terribly disappointed.

why is it a big deal to me? isn't it just rock n roll?

like i said i was excited by the thought that a woman could front a band with those guys behind her. in the end, i wonder if her being a woman was a deciding factor. women don't get opportunities that very often and it makes me sad that it didn't happen again.

last year, inxs sent home an african american singer, ty. he was an amazing singer, but he wasn't right for the band. in his good-bye to the band he alluded to the fact that he thought the color of his skin had something to do with the band's choice. i hope that wasn't the case either... i don't think it was, but you never know.

so i live with disappointment. will i watch again next year? probably, though i don't know who the band will be who's looking for a lead singer.

this season, toby... who really came from behind and should have won the award for most improved on the show (he was in 3rd place) exposed the world (at least those of us who watched the show) to the term: "EVS." it's an australian slang for "whatever."

so i say: EVS. whatever... maybe next year... we'll see... and think i'll go download some of dilana's music.

God's peace y'all

snakes on a boat

well yesterday was a wonderful day for hubby and me.

mom came and picked up the kids after the bus dropped them off from school and we got dressed and went to lunch at my favorite cafe. i've been there several times with the pobble, but i've never been able to take hubby so i was happy we could go.

lunch was yummy and we decided to head home and see if there were any movies playing at about 5:00. nope... not a one. so we hung out at the house for a while then went out to an early dinner. we picked the resturant because someone had given hubby a gift card there after he had performed their wedding and refused to take a payment for it. (hubby is just that way.) my parents had given us some spending money too so when we opened the menu and discovered lobster tails... we knew exactly what to order.

the lobster was preceeded by cocktails. mine was a cosmopolitan, the only thing i drank during my wedding weekend after my maid of honor ordered one for me.

dinner was great and the waitress was wonderful. she gave us just the right amount of attention, put a candle in our dessert (and had a lttle heart and the number 10 written in chocolate on the cake plate) and didn't let the rest of the staff sing to us... even though they wanted to.

afterwards we headed for the mall. we were off to see snakes on a plane. now, you might not think that's too romantic for a 10th wedding anniversary, but let me tell you when hubby and i never get to go out to dinner and a movie... well... it was exactly what we wanted to do.

the movie was awesome! (unless you have trouble with snakes and the crazy ways they can kill you if they are "on crack"... so saith samuel l jackson.)

we left the theater and decided to go out for some drinks before heading home and hubby says...

warning... the next paragraph contains a slight spoiler...

so all those snakes wound up in the ocean somewhere? yep, i say, which opens it up for a sequel: snakes on a boat.

after drinks it was time to go home... and that part i will keep to myself.

but it was a wonderful day and i am so very blessed.

God's peace y'all

10 years

happy anniversary to the man i love with all my heart.

i love a man on a harley

my brother-in-law loves harleys. when hubby and i got married (10 years this friday) we had a picture taken of the two of us on jefro's bike. actually, i wanted my new brother to drive me, in my wedding gown, to the wedding reception on it... but for some reason no one else thought that was a good idea.

every year jefro (not his real name... really!) participates in a ride(s) for a cure for something. this year he's riding for a cure for autism.

this was his email:

Friends and Family .... attached is the link to view my personal web page for the Cure Autism ride event scheduled for September 17, 2006. Every year I get involved in Muscular Dystrophy and American Diabetes events however this Cure Autism Ride is extremely important to many of us ... may I please ask you for a $10 donation for a wonderful reason.

i'd feel funny posting his real name here, but i have NO problems giving you this link and asking you to make a general donation.

right before we received the final diagnosis that the silent prince was autistic i heard hubby telling someone that his brother was wearing one of those plastic bracelets (the new hipper form of a colored ribbon) for autism. and i cried... not that sad kind of cry, but the kind where you get emotional because someone did something that really touched you.

there really is something about a man on a harley.

God's peace y'all

big butts, books, and blog polls

senior year in highschool i was voted best butt. it was one of those unofficial polls, but i won hands down. malcolm nominated me and everyone else agreed. (i had an enormous crush on malcolm, which i supposed matched my j-lo-sized backside so i accepted this honor with great humility and much joy.)

three years later a rapper know as sir mix-a-lot recorded a little diddy (no, not "p" diddy, a "little" diddy) called baby's got back. in 1993 he was awarded the grammy for best rap performance and babies with big butts were given the accolades due to them.

today, as i was perusing my favorite blogs, i noticed that abb had a great post on books. it's one of those blog-polls and i posted that i was gonna steal it. so here goes...

One book that changed your life. Are you there God? It's me, Margaret, by Judy Blume. what adolescent girl wasn't changed by judy blume?

One book you have read more than once. The Mists of Avalon, by Marion Zimmer Bradley this bok inspired my very first tatoo.

One book on a desert island. Ok, ok... my Bible... the NRS version. if i'm alone on a deserted island it would certainly be comforting... and it would need the apocrypha to keep me interested.
One book that made you laugh. The Last Report on the Miracles at Little No Horse, by Louise Erdrich. i mean i laughed OUT LOUD

One book that made you cry. The Kite Runner, by Khaled Hosseini. oh, this was a beautiful and tragic book.

One book you wish you had written. i am working on it now.

One book you wish had never been written. i offer the same answer as abb... not a one.

One book you are currently reading. The Lady in the Tower , by Jean Plaidy. i love historical fiction and i am fascinated by ann bolyn.

One book you have been meaning to read. the not-yet released romance by the pobble herself. i have an autographed copy printed from her very own computer.

and what do big butts, books, and blog-polls have to do with one another?

this

God's peace y'all

a plug

i've been so negligent in reading other people's blogs that i have missed the fact that the book i contributed to is now out in print!!!

here is the link to purchase your very own copy. proceeds go to charity.

and if you like words (i love them!) don't forget to check out the pobble's "test words you should know."

God's peace y'all

jesus loves you, but i'm his favorite

or so says the coaster that my friend bought me... "because i needed it."

still trying to figure out where to display that one since my sense of humor is a bit off and not eveyone appreciates it.

i've also found mary phillips. (one of her napkins is above). pobble, i got you a magnet 'cause i couldn't afford the other stuff... heck, it was when i was on vacation, i could barely afford the magnet.

the new (and first) bumper sticker going on my truck is an obx, with a jolly roger and the new adage: well behaved women rarely make history. (if this is true, by now i should be a legend).

i wanted to write a blog on vacation entitled: drunken blogging, but i couldn't find the computer room at the time.

hubby had the idea to fly naked years ago...














he is a prophet.

and that's all for now.

God's peace y'all
(don't you just love it when i ramble about nothing?)

ahhh

we returned from a wonderful vacation late last night at the outerbanks, nc. specifically we were in corolla at a house called cabello (there were pictures of horses everywhere.)

this was the 5th summer we made the trip. the first summer was right after the silent prince was born and my dad had decided to take a sabbatical that ended with a family vacation. occasionally other people come along, but the core group that goes is: hubby, our two kids, me, my parents, my uncle (dad's brother) and with the exception of one summer my brother and his wife.

every summer has been wonderful, this one was no exception... in fact it was one of the best.

we began by stopping at hubby's sister and brother-in-law's home in delaware. it's about half-way and a great place to stop (she makes great drinks). after a very long drive we finally made it to delaware and stopped for gas and called aunt kimmy (hubby's sister) to let her know where we were. poor thing... her central air unit had died during the day and crabby bill (her hubby) was valiantly trying to put a new one in. meanwhile she was desperately trying to make the house silent prince-proof.

the moment we arrived she insisted we head to the pool in their complex. of course i hadn't packed the swim stuff in the overnight bag, but i was able to dig out bathing suits and towels for us to go swimming for about an hour. by the time we got back they had turned the air on (the house didn't actually cool off until about 4am, but at least it they were able to get the new one running.)

she served up some gin and tonics and spaghetti with meatballs for dinner and we had a lovely, although hot evening together then hit the road the next day.

the highlight of the drive for me was the wawa.

except for the years i was in college and a short time that i lived in the south with the pobble, i have never lived more than 5 minutes away from a wawa. there are no wawas here only dunkin donuts, subways, cumberland farms, and 7-11s, none of which measures up to the wawa.

wawas are 24 hour convenience stores that have delis and make hoagies (everywhere else they are called subs or grinders) and have amazing coffee. you can get just about anything at a wawa.

like... an english toffee cappachino and a tuna salad hoagie and a bag of lays potato chips. (which doesn't sound good all together, but really is).

yumm

the ride to the obx from de was fine until we hit the traffic going onto the obx. there is one road in and only two lanes, one for each direction. what should have been an hour ride turned into 2 1/2. my family is always the last to arrive at the vacation house, but at least that means that things were settled by the time we got there.

the new addition to the group this week was linda, who has known me since i was a fetus and she would sit and drink tea with my pregnant mom. it was great to have her there. we've been inviting her every year since the second year, but she was caring for her elderly parents and worried to travel so far away from them for a whole week. this was the first time she was able to come and her comment was, "i'm glad i didn't know what i was missing all those years or i would have been really upset that i couldn't make it before now."

here are some of the highlights from the week:

watching the sunset from the dining room table

going out to dinner with hubby, my brother and his wife. we wound up at our 3rd choice and it was unbelievable. i had a raspberry martini that was to-die-for.

skinny dipping in the freezing cold pool with my mom and linda one night

the silent prince and the princess kitty acting like fish in the pool

the silent prince seeing the ocean as if it was the most amazing thing in the world (as hubby put it... "why have you kept this from me all these years, mommy and daddy!")

sunday morning devotions on the deck instead of trying to find a church to attend, i started crying as we prayed, the good kind of crying, the kind i've needed to do for weeks now.

playing pool with my uncle and making 3 amazing shots in a row (we chalked it up to the mike's hard lemonade)

shopping with my sis-in-law, linda, and the princess kitty and finding the earrings i wanted.

laughing at hubby, who is undoubtedly the funniest person i know

taking the kids out for dinner and ice cream

sitting on the deck off of my bedroom and watching the egrets and other wildlife in the lake between our house and the sound. (the last night someone set of fireworks in the distance.)

i never want to leave that last night. i find it almost painful to pack and prepare for the early morning departure. we've taken to stopping on the mainland for breakfast. we wound up at mel's diner (kiss my grits and all). speaking of grits... i had cheese grits with my french toast and sausage... yumm.

the trip home was as awful as the week was wonderful. what could have been a 10 hour trip turned into a 16+ hour trip. we did stop along the way for more wawa hoagies and to say a quick hello to aunt kimmy and crabby bill (really, that's the name of his boat) and we stopped off at the christiana mall for dinner with friends we haven't seen in awhile. but getting home at 2am was for the birds... and they would have to be owls i suppose.

it was terribly difficult to wake up and go to church this morning, thank God someone else was preaching (as i told them in the pews... who knows what would have come out of my mouth if it had been me.) but now i have had a nap and it's time to wake hubby from his.

there is quite a bit of unpacking to do and settling back in, but i start tomorrow with a visit to the chiropractor (yes!) and take it fairly easy as i plan the rest of the week.

until later...

God's peace y'all

in case you wondered

this is where i am until saturday.

(and just in case you have to scroll down it's caballo...

and it is heaven here!)



promise to blog all about it when i get home.

God's peace y'all!

where the $#(@ are they?

i lost my keys today. i looked everywhere. i even prayed to st anthony:

"St. Anthony, St. Anthony
Please come down
Something is lost
And can't be found."

remember, i'm not catholic... i don't pray to saints.

and then finally, i borrowed hubby's keys to take the princess kitty to a sleep-over at a friend's house and there they were... on the back bumper of my truck.

i did not put them there.
hubby did not put them there.
the princess kitty claims she did not put them there.
the silent prince is not allowed to even look at my keys.
the dog can't eat my keys and therefore has nothing to do with them.
the cats don't go outside.

i must have gremlins.

God's peace y'all

my week

this has been a week...

sunday, right after church, i felt a bit sick to my stomach so i went home immediately and lay down in the ac and slept. when i woke up i felt a bit better and the family went to my parent's house for dinner. my appetite was back and i ate as though i hadn't felt sick at all.

monday, we visited the developmental psychologist and got the news about the silent prince. it was stuff i already knew in my heart and was just waiting for someone to validate. then i went to lunch with the staff at church... mexican... comfort food... excpet that they were out of fried ice cream (we actaully watched them take the last one to another table.)

tuesday was the council meeting. it was supposed to be a pot-luck at my house, but it was so hot i couldn't even bring myself to clean or set up tables outside and so we ate at the church on the tablecloths from my house. i even cut fresh flowers from the yard.

wednesday... all i remember of wednesday was the bathroom and my bedroom and the horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach.

thursday i spent in bed. though i felt better, it seemed prudent after what had happened wednesday. that evening i was supposed to go out with a friend for drinks and to shop for vacation bible school. we went shopping, but there was no drinking involved.

friday i woke up with the only thing that would make the week complete. (if you are a woman, you probably know what i'm talking about... if you are a man then be grateful you don't.) i did a few things at church, but went home shortly after my secretary told me that my face was white as a sheet. i accomplished a few things, but not nearly as many as i wanted to get done and then we went back to my parent's for dinner.

saturday (that would be today) i worked on the computer, getting some things ready for next week's vacation bible school and then we went to a church picnic for hubby's church. it was held at the home of one of the members and had a pool. it was all the princess kitty could talk about. shortly after getting there i stepped on a bee. thankfully i am not allergic and the bee kept its stinger, but man.. did it hurt. the party was nice... even though there was a downpour about halfway through and we had to rush inside with all the food. my purse got soaked, as did hubby's dry clothes. but the silent prince did have a great time playing in the mud.

and yet... i think i'm glad that tomorrow starts a whole new week.

God's peace y'all

a diagnosis and a dedication

the princess kitty had her dance recital on friday and the pobble came to see. she also brought along two copies of her test words book. one for my folks and one for hubby and me. her first book... and she dedicated it to me.

it might be the coolest thing that has ever happened to me. writers are like rock stars in my book (pun intended) and so the fact that she would put my name in her first as her dedication... i know she loves me... i knew it before the book... but wow!

SO BUY THE BOOK!!! BUY LOTS OF COPIES!!! BUY THEM NOW!!!

the silent prince has been diagnosed with autism. we found out today. and while i have a million thoughts going through my head i'm finding it hard to make them cohesive so bear with me.

things the psychologist said:

he falls in the severe category of autism
hubby and i have good instincts about him and his care
recommendations will be made to increase his school day and the services he gets
he is beautiful and sweet
he isn't ready for potty training
he functions best in high structure situations
with proper intervention he has a good chance of improving
there are wonderful support groups in our area
none of this suprizes you

and a lot of other stuff that is stuck in my brain, trying to sort itself out.

none of this suprizes hubby or me and we are grateful for an answer even if the answer is what it is. and so i've decided that i will have to grieve the losses that come with autism and look toward a different future for my prince who is beautiful and sweet and happy.

God's peace y'all

why hasn't cats been blogging?

i dunno...

could be that i have been suffering from blogger's block (though not writer's block since i'm working hard on 2 seperate books and loving it.)

could be that the 'puter is making me crazy because a little piece of plastic has gotten caught in the fan and now it sounds like the 'puter has asthma. the little piece of plastic is from the wireless card being pushed too far into the notebook and thus turning my laptop into a desktop.

could be that it is often way too hot in the room where the 'puter is located and when it is cool enough i want to be out on my porch where the laptop no longer goes.

could be that i've been busy trying to be busy and i have less time to sit at the 'puter.

could be that now that it's summer the silent prince is at home more and the office is too far from where he's allowed to be.

could be that i'm simply going through some strange phase of computer overload (i was so attached to this piece of equipment while at the apartment and now that i'm home there is other stuff to attract my attention.)

could be...

who knows.

God's peace y'all

rabbi cats

i just returned from PA where i performed the wedding of my college roommate jacklyn hyde.

it was an interesting weekend. since it would have been a 14 hour trip by train i flew. the last time i flew was 1998 so i expected that it was going to be quite different this time. i had no idea.

hubby dropped my off a few minutes past 10am to catch an 11:11 flight that should only take an hour. i checked in and found my gate quite easily despite the long backup through the baggage checkpoint. i even had to take off my sandels to go through the metal detector. once at the gate i discovered that my plane was delayed and i gave jh a call to tell her to check with the airport before coming to pick me up. apparently, the flight i was supposed to be on was delayed so that the crew could get the required 8 hours rest before taking off again. and then there was another delay which wasn't explained to us.

i called jh again and left another message telling her that the flight which should have arrived at 12:30 wasn't going to get in on her end until 15 minutes before we were all supposed to go out for tea at 2:30... we'd have to figure something else out for getting me from the airport.

meanwhile, sitting at the gate i discovered that i was surrounded by people who were either deaf or signing... few of them were actually sitting together. it was striking me as somewhat odd. my cell phone rang and it was jh. "oh good, you're still there!"

"no, not really... i should be on the plane by now." we both laugh.

"the best man and his wife are going to pick you up. there names are e and a." i got cell phone numbers and said i'd call them once i got to pittsburgh airport.

"oooh, the plane is here." and we both said yippee (jh and i have a history of always saying the same things at the same time.)

it was a small plane... only 18 rows, 3 seats across each row. i was in row 17. we all get on, get settled, and start to move and then we stop.

"this is the captian speaking. i don't know if you all can see out the windows on the right side of the plane..." we all look out the right side of the plane. "but another plane (about the same size as ours) had to come in for a landing without its landing gear... everyone's fine... but they had to shut down the airport."

the plane errupts in nervous laughter.

"if there is anything we can do to make your wait more comfor..."

the plane errupts again "it's too hot!!!"

the wait was suprisingly short and we arrived in pitt around 2:30. i pull out my cell phone and call e. "i'm in pittsburgh!"

"we're still coming from ohio! find the bar, get a drink, get something to eat, and we'll call you as soon as we're close."

i find the bar. i need a beer.

eventually e and a show up. a is the best man, e his doctor wife. they are fantastic and i actaully enjoy the 2 hour ride to the wedding rehearsal that we are only 15 minutes late getting to.

the rehearsal was short and sweet. i usally give a big speech at rehearsals about everyone being on time and not drinking before the wedding, but considering that the source of that speech was late and had been drinking i decided to skip it.

jh's mom took me back to the b&b to get changed for the dinner at the hotel where most people were staying. it was also the hotel where most of the harley riders, who were convening were also staying. after the dinner the women decended on the hotel bar to drink and cuss with the bikers, two of whom offered us rides home when the brother of the bride couldn't be reached to pick us up.

the next day jh's mom treated the maid of honor and me to getting out hair done and lunch. i love the mother of the bride!

now jh and her family are jewish. pros, her now-husband is not. he is a geologist. so the wedding was an interesting mix of jewish customs with what i usually do for a christian wedding. i gave pros a rock from my backyard during my sermon and told those gathered that since i couldn't speak scientifically about rocks i would speak metaphorically about them.

rocks and marriage have a lot in common. the geologists nodded and encouraged me along. everyone seemed to love it.

later people told me that i could be a commedian if the pastor thing didn't work out. it's nice to have something so solid to fall back on.

not knowing what to wear for the ceremony i borrowed my father-in-law's prayer shawl. with my fancy dress and up do i decided that i was the best looking gentile rabbi i had ever seen.

when we sat down for dinner i asked jh if her grandfather, who is the most adorable man, was going to do the blessing over the bread. she had no idea so i got up to ask. her dad (love him too) cut me off at the pass and informed me that the order would be best man, moh, granddad, and then me. "haven't you hear enough from me already?"

he told me to figure it out... so i did.

"good and gracious God, we give you thanks for this day... etc etc... bless this marriage, make it..."

and then someone at the table whispered "like a rock."

yes, "like a rock... solid... solid like a rock. amen."

and now i must go shower and prepare to go camping in the rain with the confirmation class.

b'shalom y'all

hot enough for ya?

first, you should all check this guy out. last friday grandpop took the princess kitty to the peabody museum of natural history where jason hackenwerth had begun to blow balloons and twist them into the sculptures we went to see comleted yesterday in the middle of the dinosaur exhibit. the pictures in te link aren't what we saw, but WOW. this is not the clown you hired to make those balloon animals at your kid's last birthday party.

as we went to get into the truck to pick up grandmom and grandpop to check out the exhibit and musuem my car thermometer said it was 98 degrees out. gotta love new england weather... or do i?

after the musuem we returned to the 'rents house for dinner and some golden margaritas. yummy! hubby happened to be checking out the newspaper on the kitchen table with pictures of designs for the great wall of america to keep out those icky mexicans we so despise. (please read the scarcasm in that sentence.)

"we are becoming the empire." said he
"huh?"
"don't these pictures look like something out of star wars?"

indeed they do and i can't find my light saber.

may the force be with y'all

only in the pobble's world

and i do this only because my last post was soooo depressing.

so here i am, typing at the pobble's computer. we'd been out on her porch talking about severed heads. don't ask.... please!!!! and decided to come inside... her phone rang so it was necessary.

back in her office she wanted me to listen to a song playing on her 'puter, named bob. she took her seat and i stood. she's just finished crunch time on a deadline, so... well, so there isn't really a place for me to sit. the dogs have taken over the loveseat and i am loathe to move them. so there i stand.

"please sit." sayeth the pobble.

"where?" replies the lovely cats.

the pobble giggles and goes to move stuff from the chair next to the computer.

and what was on the chair you ask?

thigh high black leather boots and a copy of emily post's book, "etiquette".

anyone for severed heads?

God's peace y'all

semper fi

now that i am back to blogging, i am also back to reading other blogs. i usually go in aphabetical order so ABB is usually my first read. today she will be my only read...

impressions of a marine's funeral

back,back, BACK!!!

after suffering through 3 weeks of dsl hell and another one of having too much work to blog, i am back!

but only briefly this first time back... so some quick updates and at least one picture.

the silent prince was at the lead clinic yesterday. his lead level is 42, which means he will go back on his treatment (which is stinky, but a good thing) and his body burden level has dropped 43 points!!! this is not at all stinky and a wonderful thing!

i'm finally feeling settled in and like i can finally be back at work. most of the residual depression of the last 6 months has dispersed and i am so glad of that.

i spend all my time here (well, all the time that i can afford to)



the princess kitty is hap, hap, happy and hubby just bought a new vacuum thing for the kitchen floor so he's pleased as punch.

and that's all i have time for today.

God's peace y'all and a promise to get to your sites asap so that i can catch up!

AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

i am currently at my folk's home after dinner with them and my mother-in-law (who is in town for the kids' birthday party this past saturday)

sbc-yahoo-at&t after spending well over a week trying to get them to figure out why our dsl isn't working finally told us that we aren't able to get dsl at our new address. doesn't seem to matter that our new address is also our old address or that we had dsl there for at least 9 months before the whole lead fiasco began.

i cannot say the words that i am feeling right now. if i did they might begin with the letters: "f" "b" "s-h" hmmm, and what else... we'll you get the idea.

so now we are waiting until they can do an investigation that should take until next wednesday or thursday to investigate. i'm calling the cable company tomorrow to see how much a cable modem is and to see if we can afford it (doubt it, but still worth a try.)

and so that is why i haven't been around much.

the house is wonderful! it is fantasic to be back! and i will try to get some time on the computer at work to hook up the digital camera and put up pictures asap.

miss you all!!!! i feel so out of touch.

God's peace y'all!

WE ARE BACK!!!!

but the dsl still isn't working at the house and there are still a good amount of boxes to be unpacked... but we are back and i am loving it.

the telephone comany is supposed to come out today and figure out why the dsl is being such a pain in the neck (i spent over an hour on the phone with IT yesterday to no avail.)

once i'm back on-line i expect to post some pictures of the house for your enjoyment including my very own special room to myself!

God's peace y'all!

love you all, but...

we are moving friday and i will be insane all week. i also don't know when i'll be back on-line after friday. it always takes awhile for them to get the dsl working.

and a wonderful man at the church fixed the rear end of my truck for $180, instead of the $500 it would have cost (we already had half the work done because i didn't want to live in fear of driving the hills that are all over this town.)

so... peace y'all! i'll be back soon!!!

$988.16

that's the amount it will take to fix the brakes on my truck where the brake pads are about to go. we had half the work done yesterday, but the other half will have to be done within the next week (hopefully they will hold until i get paid again.)

in the meantime i continue to work on the house. despite the fact that it is alot of work, i really enjoy painting and decorating it myself. when we were in the process of coming here the congregation painted a vast majority of the rooms colors that i had pickd out. but there is just something about painting the walls myself that makes me feel like it's mine.

i can't wait to take picutes to post!!!

God's peace y'all

getting ready

spent yesterday painting, scraping wallpaper, and cleaning the parsonage in preparation to move back. i'm anxious to get it done... SOOOO anxious. being in the house again for that much time made me realize how much i really do want to be back.

of course my arm is killing me from overuse and i have the feeling i won't be getting much of it done today which is frustrating. first i have to do some work for work and if i'm feeling ok after i'll go back to the painting, scraping, and cleaning.

God's peace y'all

yes i did

post two new sermons at the sermon site. one for today and one for easter (yes, that one is a little late.)

and i have updated the discipleship blog too.

i actaully got something accomplished while on vacation and continuing education!

and even better... i have finally edited three palm sunday services for publication. they are currently printed out, attached to a cover letter, in a manilla envelope, which is addressed to the publisher, and waiting for me to take them to the post office to be mailed out tomorrow.

woo hoo!

God's peace y'all

things that feed my soul

in no particular order...

rock and roll blaring on the radio with the windows rolled all the way down

sitting down for a big family dinner

feeling hubby's skin next to mine

discovering i fed someone else' soul without realizing i was doing it

holding a new born baby

the smell of the ocean after a storm

getting a pedicure

kissing my children's cheeks while they are asleep

laughing with a friend until my stomach hurts

having nothing to do but read a really good book

being on family vacation in the outerbanks and watching the sunset

God's peace y'all (yeah, that too.)

well, yes and no

blogzie had this on her blog and i said i would have to take the test myself. so here it is... and my thoughts on the results.

You are a Believer

You believe in God and your chosen religion. Whether you're Christian, Muslim, Jewish, or Hindu.. Your convictions are strong and unwavering. You think your religion is the one true way, for everyone.

What's Your Religious Philosophy?

ok, i am a believer in God and my "chosen" faith. though i have issue with the word chosen simply because it was the faith in which i was raised and i often say that God chose it for me... not the other way around. it's like the phrase: "i found jesus!" you mean he was lost?

my convictions are strong. yep. and while i'm open to other opinions i can be pretty stubborn (i'm a red-head and an aries and sometimes the steroetypes fit.)

unwavering?.. i'd say i was 49% atheist (a quote that i love from a preacher named franklin fry) doubt doesn't bother me. well, it bothers me when i'm feeling it, but i'm not afraid of doubt happening in my life. doubt is not the anthesis of faith in my opinion, but a part of it.

the one true way... well, yes. i believe in what scripture says that jesus is the way, the truth, and the light. i believe that jesus is the way to the father and to salvation, but "for everyone?"

i have a hard time with the idea that i am right and anyone who believes differently is wrong. and perhaps it's the fallacy with the test... it didn't ask the right questions, or allow me to give the answers i do feel about God and religion.



in my last post about lead a few non-christians offered me prayers in the comments. do i think God won't hear them or that they are null and void because they are wrong in what they believe? oh no.

ultimately, jesus does it for me in the here and now. i'm not so concerned with heaven. (i could be wrong, and i could be right... but i won't know until i get there.) faith, for me, is about how i live now and how that faith affects me until i die. i believe that God has made promises to me about eternal life and i trust God. fact is, even if i knew for sure there isn't a heaven i would still believe in jesus.

but jesus doesn't do it for everyone as one of my pagan friends reminds me and i'm cool with that despite the fact that i am in love with jesus and wish others felt the same way i do about him.

and there you have it.

God's peace y'all

yale lead

back when the whole debacle with the silent prince's lead poisoning began the pediatrician decided against us going to the lead clinic at yale new haven. since he was our doctor we trusted that we were getting the best care.

now, with a new pediatrician, we realize that we weren't.

we visited the lead clinic yesterday for the third time and were amazed by the level of care we received. first, we had wanted the prince to see a developmental pediatrician and have an appointment with one in hartford next february. (yes, february 2007). when i first started talking to judy at the lead clinic she suggested that we could see their developmental psychologist and gave me the number. i made an attempt to call and ask for an appointment.

yesterday she noticed that the prince was on the schedule for the lead clinic and showed up for the appointment so that she could meet us in person and schedule an appointment with us for next week. and since she knows lead and development... we feel pretty confident about having her do the evaluations which hopefully will tell us more about who our son is.

the second thing about the lead clinic is that we always meet with several people. we had a toxicologist (2 actually) stick their heads in to check on us, a social worker, and the nurse practicioner. it makes hubby nervous; why are all these people paying so muc attention to our son? i think we aren't used to having so many people care about the prince getting well.

his lead levels are still about the same, which means no treatment for at least another two weeks.


then later we took the kids to the house, which has now been cleared by the health department!!!

the prince grabbed my hand, pulled me up the front porch steps, opened the screen door, then waited impatiently as i unlocked the door.

he stood in the foyer for a few seconds then ran up the steps, pulling me along with him. up the steps he went right to his room and ran in circles looking for his things. when it was time to leave he threw a tantrum. i wanted to go get all our things and move them in right away.

soon... very soon

God's peace y'all

i didn't do it

i hate being blamed for something i didn't do. call it a pet peeve; it isn't. i hate it.

when i was in 2nd or 3rd grade we had inside recess because it was raining. we also had a substitute. the sub took us to the bathroom and let a group of girls in the girls' room. i went in a stall and did what i needed to while the rest of the group ran around like they were in the recess yard.

as i exited the bathroom i was put in a seperate line with the rest of the girls in the group who had been misbehaving in the bathroom. when we went back to our classroom i had to stand in the back with the rest of the girls i had been with. one by one the sub called us up front and asked if there was something we wanted to say to her. i had no idea what she was talking about so i was sent back to the rear of the room to stand while the rest of the class ate their snacks and got to chit chat with one another.

i was called up again... still with nothing to say. when i went back to my spot of punishment a friend whispered to me: "she wants you to say you're sorry."

the next time i was called to the front of the class i apologized.

i said i was sorry for something i hadn't done.

there is no moment in my history (which has been filled with a multitude of mistakes) that i would relive. except this one. if given another chance i would have told her the first time that i had done nothing wrong and then i would have waited for her apology... even if it took all day.

but... i can't go back and that's probably a good thing.

it happened again today, though this time i emphatically denied what i was accused of from the get-go. the landlords, who have been fairly nice people, were outside today planting spring flowers as i was leaving to take the princess kitty to dance class.

we chit chatted about yard work and then the one landlord asked me to do him a favor... "please make sure you clean up after your dog."

i told him i always do.

he told me that other people in the apartment complex had told him that a dog, matching our dog's discription,was leaving piles in an area where the kids were playing outside. people had told him that it was our dog.

nope, not me. i always clean up, i never even take the dog over there. in fact i had noticed that someone had not been cleaning up after their dog and was upset by it. but it wasn't me.

they asked me to keep my eyes open in case i saw who it was, implying that they might believe me. (i doubt it.) the other landlord even said it might be a dog from somewhere else. but it doesn't matter. i have been blamed for something i did not do and it is driving me crazy and put me in a bad mood cancelling out the rest of what had been a good day.

i want to let it go, but i can't. i want to know who tattled on me. especially since it was made to sound as if there were multiple culprits. i want to know if they have dogs (there are a few others here.) i want to make them apologize for blaming me and then to tell the landlords that it wasn't us... that they were mistaken.

but i can't, so instead i will claim my innocence here, vent about it, get the princess kitty out of the tub, and then watch a movie.

God's peace y'all

HAPPY HAPPY

BIRTHDAY!!!

the silent prince turned 4 yesterday.

it was a great day. friends from jersey came down on monday and decided to stay long enough for the festivities. and then the pobble arrived yesterday morning to add her well-wishes.

we started the day with bert (one of our jersey friends), the pobble, and a member of the church, helping me put our backyard together again. it was LOADS of work, but now i have the beginnings of a great flower and herb garden.

then we returned back to the apartment (showered) and had take-out from great resturant: frankies. frankies is gourmet fast food... and it sooo good.



then the g-parents showed up for cake and ice cream. g-mom arrived and told me if i packed the prince a bag she would take him for a sleep-over, but first she gave him and the princess kitty a bath to wash off all the chocolate cake.


claud (our other jersey friend) and i went out and got some drinks and movies and once the princess kitty was asleep we watched fun with dick and jane (funny) and then hostel (gross).

we'll have another party for both kids in may, when we can have lots more family and friends show up for a big celebration back at the parsonage.

and now i am going to go enjoy this incredible day!

God's peace y'all

brown crayons

two bloggers have got me thinking about isms and so i offer this story. you should also check out their blogs... they are abb and gayprof.

years ago, while hubby and i were on internship, i was asked to be the director of a church summer program in newark, nj. now hubby and i lived in newark the year it was named the most violent city in america. we didn't live in the hood, but in the ironbound, which was predominately portugese and brazillian and most of them were illegal. it was the year we were married and hubby and i still think back on it as one of the best times of our lives.

the church was st john's and was set in the clinton hill section of newark. it was the hood. the apartment building next to the church was condemned, but still occupied, and the tenents paid their rent to a slum lord. the local governement was so corrupt that nothing ever happened.

kids from the apartments often played in the church parking lot and that's what got us thinking about starting the program that lasted 7 weeks that summer, and went all day.

we hired people from the church to help us run the program and the pastor invited two older teenaged girls from arizona to come and teach for the experience of working in the inner city.

we had 50 kids each day. some days kids we had never seen before would be sitting in a class. "where did you come from?" i'd ask. "momma told me to come with my cousin to church camp." "ok, but i will need your momma to fill out these forms if you want to come back tomorrow."

one day, somewhere in the middle of the program, my 16 year old, mother of an 18 month old daughter, teacher of the 3rd and 4th graders, was sent off to over night camp. (she returned a day later because she hated it). i took over her class and decided to teach the lesson of jesus blessing the children. we did the lesson and then i sent them to their seats to color pictures of jesus and some children.

we were a low-budget camp, so i had buckets of crayons and as the kids sat down i made my way around their tables, dumping handfuls of crayons on the tables for them to use to color their pictures. i was about half-way done when i heard, "miss cats, i need a brown crayon."

ok. i turned around, dug through my bucket and found a brown crayon for the one kid when i heard another child ask for a brown crayon and then another.

what the heck did they need with so many brown crayons? was there a tree in the picture?

and then it hit me. they needed the brown crayons for the faces of the children in the picture. i scrambled to make certian that every child had a brown or black crayon and then i sat down and pondered the whole thing.

i pondered me and my white skin and the fact that if i were coloring a picture of a child i would not need a brown crayon, or any color crayon for that matter if i wanted the chold in the picture to reflect me. i suddenly understood white priveledge in a way i never had before.

later on, after camp summer joy was over and i was back in seminary for my senior year i shared this story with one of my professors. racism, he explained, has always been defined as power plus prejudice, but really it is power plus prejudice plus priveledge.

as a side note he and another prof at seminary were the only two african american men on staff. they were also the busiest. one day, when i pointing this out to one of them, he told me "don't go there." and then we both laughed because we knew i was right.

the fact of the matter is that i am christian, white, and straight. if you don't count the fact that i'm female priveledge is my middle name.

i never have to worry about discrimination unless i choose to (or unless my lack of male genitalia somehow gets into the mix.) my best friend growing up was black. i called her and told her about the brown crayons. "i'm struggling with racism." i told her. and then i made a confession: whenever i told people stories about her i often introduced the story: "my best friend, who's black, and i..."

"why do i have to tell people that you are black? you are my friend, that's the important point of the story. is this white guilt?"

"you are not a racist."

i needed to hear that.

but the fact remains, no matter how unconditional i am when it comes to people who are different... i still struggle with the idea that my middle name is priveledge. if i get tired of dealing with intolerance i can forget about it for awhile and deal with it at my leisure.

i can read a news story about hate crimes and think: "how horrible!" and then get back to my life.

except that if what i am as a christian, white, straight person means that i am recieve a special king of priveledge then i also believe that means i have also have a responsibitily to those who don't get special treatment because of what they are.

if what i am makes me "special" then who i am needs to honor the fact that i have been given an opportunity to do something special by advocating for those who don't get special priveledge.

and i don't mean, i'm so special so i need to help those poor un-special people. i don't mean that since i am in charge of distributing the crayons that i need to make sure that black people get the brown crayons from the box, or that gay people get all the pink ones.

i mean: i have a unique opportunity to remind people that the crayon box belongs to all of us and that we all have a responsibility to ensure that people get the crayons they need to color this world.

what a lesson those kids taught me that day.



God's peace y'all

The Strife is O'er

we have a lead safe house again!!!

now to pack and move everything back in. but i think i'm ok with that.

so many of you have been so supportive of us these past four-ish months. thank you, thank you , thank you. please continue to pray for the silent prince who is not yet lead-free.

God's peace y'all

CHRIST IS RISEN!

Create your own message at BlingyBlob.com

Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy

well, i just posted this about 5 minutes ago and then went to catch up on my blog-reading. the first place i stopped was dondon's to read the story of two gay man who were brutally attacked while on vacation.

i still feel sick to my stomach.

please take a look at the post before this one if you haven't gotten a chance. it has a great link from crackerlilo about living in a good friday world and it makees sense to me. on the other hand, that people would do such horrible things to another human being just because they are gay makes no sense to me at all.

i don't care how you feel about homosexuals or homosexuality. i don't care if you find it disgusting, wrong, sinful... (well, actually i do, but that's besides the point) ... you don't treat people like that, you don't do things like that to another human being. i wish i could be more eloquent, but i'm too nauseous for eloquence.

and here ...what i originally wrote under the title "hydrated."

i have been neglectful of my other two blogs: sermons at salem and salem's discipleship journey.

well, there are two new posts on the sermon site. one that should have been up a few weeks ago and another from the good friday community service that happened today. the discipleship site will get back on track in the next two weeks while i have some time off to contemplate what to write.

God's peace y'all

we are an easter people

i love crackerlilo. she gave me this link in her comments on my happy passover post.

(cl, sometime i'm taking my christian behind down to new york and finding you and your beautiful russian wife so we can have drinks together... i may even bring my gorgeous lithuanian hubby with me.)

today was maundy thursday, the day we remember jesus' last supper. it's doesn't always happen, but sometimes passover falls during holy week. the reason why these two sometimes happen in conjunction is because it was during the festival of passover that jesus made his way into jerusalem before his death. and it was most likely the passover seder that jesus was eating with his disciples where he instituted the lord's supper.

there are four components to maundy thursday worship: confession, foot-washing, communion, and stripping the altar in memory of jesus being stripped and beaten prior to his crucifixion.

confession is good... we do it as a community, speaking the words together and then as individuals kneeling at the altar and hearing the words that we are forgiven. forgiveness is a powerful thing.

there were only 3 of us who partook of the foot-washing: a nine year old girl who is deeply grieving the death of her god-father, the assistant minister, and myself. that's a powerful thing too; handling someone else's feet and letting someone else touch yours.

communion is communion. it's perhaps the most mystical thing in my faith. two ordinary things: bread and wine and God is in it.

but it is always the stripping of the altar that does it for me. for years growing up i watched other people, on maundy thursdays, stripping the altar. it was always done with the lights turned down low and someone chanting the 22nd psalm (the one that begins: "my God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" at the one congregation where i grew up we had two members who were blind. both of them had amazing singing voices and often sang solos in church. the one man, who's name i can't remember was legally blind. it meant that while the pastors were stripping the altar he could sing in the dark, by reading the words in braille.

i would watch as all these holy symbols were ushered out of the chancel (the front part of the church) and this pure tenor voice would be chanting from the dark...

our organist agreed to chant the psalm tonight. he has a very nice voice, but his real talent comes from his hands on the keys of the organ or piano. we clear the altar, the altar hangings, the bibles and each item puts a lump in my throat as i take it away.

when i was done i had to sit down. the only lights left on in the sanctuary are on the cross. it's beautiful and sorrowful all at once.

and i remember why i love what i do. and i remember how very loved i am.

God's peace y'all

happy passover

Exodus 12
21 Then Moses called all the elders of Israel and said to them, "Go, select lambs for your families, and slaughter the passover lamb. 22 Take a bunch of hyssop, dip it in the blood that is in the basin, and touch the lintel and the two doorposts with the blood in the basin. None of you shall go outside the door of your house until morning. 23 For the Lord will pass through to strike down the Egyptians; when he sees the blood on the lintel and on the two doorposts, the Lord will pass over that door and will not allow the destroyer to enter your houses to strike you down. 24 You shall observe this rite as a perpetual ordinance for you and your children. 25 When you come to the land that the Lord will give you, as he has promised, you shall keep this observance. 26 And when your children ask you, "What do you mean by this observance?' 27 you shall say, "It is the passover sacrifice to the Lord, for he passed over the houses of the Israelites in Egypt, when he struck down the Egyptians but spared our houses.' " And the people bowed down and worshiped. 28 The Israelites went and did just as the Lord had commanded Moses and Aaron.

b'shalom y'all

what is lent?

in a comment on holy week meltdown, crackerlilo asked me to explain lent and why in the heck it was meltdown inducing time.

her exact comment was:

"I've never heard anyone say that about Lent before. When you have time, could you speak a little deeper about it? I'm a Pentecostal-turned-Pagan--never did Lent.

What did you give up? (If I missed it, sorry.)"

ok... some short answers:

lent is the time before easter. it consists of 40 days (not including sundays, which are always considered "little easters.")

it begins on ash wednesday, when we remember our mortality and our need for God.

the last week of lent is called holy week, which begins on palm sunday. palm sunday is when we remember jesus' entrance into jerusalem where people, believing he was going to become their new king, threw palm branches on the ground as he rode in on a donkey.

next follows the triduum or the three days. they are: maundy thursday (when jesus had his last supper and washed the disciples' feet), good friday (when jesus is crucified and dies), and the easter vigil(when the miraculous happens and jesus rises from the dead).

and then there is easter (when we celebrate the resurrection).

lent is an incredibly holy time leading up to the most holy act: the death and resurrection of jesus.

so why is it also the most stressful for clergy?

well, for one, there is an increase in the workload. i add an extra service during the week usually with some sort of supper beforehand. this year was entitled: bread, broth and bible. we gathered, had soup, and then had devotions based upon the story of the good samaritan every wednesday for 5 weeks.

holy week includes lots of extra worship and all of the services are different from other sunday services. i have 2 extra sermons to write this week. and sermon writing is not an easy task, especially when preaching seems most important.

this is the time i most want people to "get." if there is only one story i want people to understand about jesus it's the story this time tells.

and it's not just that i want other christians to get it. i want people to get it because it's what my faith is all about; the idea that God loves us enough to have done this thing... and if God loves us that much, that he would die for us then it means that people are of value... great value. and it doesn't matter what kind of people we are... we are loved.

i want to get the story right and i want people to hear it.

so, there you have it, crackerlilo. i hope that answered your question.

oh, and i did give up something for lent, but i'm keeping it secret.

God's peace y'all

as a side note: the beautiful artwork of the resurrection is by an artist named He Qi. you can see more of his work here.

a day with the pobble

friday, i spent the day with the pobble doing post-divorce (her's not mine) errands. i've come to the conclusion that a day doing crappy, but necessary errands with the pobble is still better than a day doing almost anything else.

this is a gift... having the kind of friend who is as comfortable (sometimes more so than) your own skin. and though i've said it before i have no problem repeating it.

i can't put up facades with the pobble. she sees right through them and the same can be said about me seeing right through her. the good thing is, it doesn't seem to matter if one of us is having a bad time... i can handle being with her when she's down and when i'm down (the kind of down when i don't want anybody around) she can stand right beside me and it's good.

saturday has been a day of birthday parties for the princess kitty to attend.

The first was held at a beauty school where each girl was given an up-do with curls and a manicure with their choice of color (the kitty picked red.) this is a picture of the back of her, in line, waiting her turn at the nail table.

the next party was held at the church and featured an animal show which included a millipede, chinchilla, and snakes.

she had 4 pieces of pizza, but we had to leave before cake in order to go to grandmom and grandpop's for dinner with the fantastic uncle s, who was visiting from boston. (an editor's note: in the last post i said he had his knees replaced. not so... he had knee surgery, but not replacement. if you are reading this; IT'S TIME!)

mom (also know of as gram-gram, by the princess kitty) made incredibly good chili for dinner and the fantastic uncle s had slaved all morning to make brownies (though i have a hunch they were from a box.) they were yummy.

then back home. the silent prince was lulled to sleep by a mozart cd i had purchased at walgreen's for $2.99 and the princess kitty, after such an exciting day was asleep before the previews were done playing on her disney's robin hood video.

a long, but good day. two long but good days in fact. i might actually be on a roll...

God's peace y'all

holy week meltdown

and it's not even holy week yet.

i love lent, but it exhausts me. there is nothing like it during the church year.

i fall in love with my faith every year sometime between stripping the altar on maundy thursday and shouting alleluia on easter sunday morning. this is the time of year that reminds me why i am a christian.

but i feel so overworked (with so much still to go) that it's hard to really enjoy the stuff that means the most to me.

it's time for a mental health day and then a trip to the pobble's tomorrow. i'll clean up the apartment, do the massive piles of laundry, and play with the silent prince... refocus

God's peace y'all

and then there is the rest of the family

thanks everyone for the comments about my mom. i am a lucky kid to have such great parents.

but mom isn't the only part of my family worth bragging on.

dad is too. his favorite movie is naked gun. brother and i were watching it one day on video and dad walked in the tv room and asked, "what is this?" within minutes he was crying from laughing so hard. to this day if you just mention the movie he starts laughing as if there was no tomorrow.

and dad is perhaps the most gentle person i know and perhaps the strongest. i've never known him to back down when he feels strongly about something. he's been arrested for protesting for workers' rights (i've never been more proud). he was there when the princess kitty was born, helping to squeeze her out... and no, it wasn't weird to have him in the delivery room... it was exactly where i needed him.

dad has been there for me at my lowest and never been judgemental. he guessed when i got my first tat and was relieved when i told him it was a blue cresent moon and not a boy's name.

and then there is my baby brother. i would call him my little brother, but that he is not any more. when my wonderful parents are driving me crazy there is no one else who gets it the way he does. and vice-versa.

when i was living on my own and dirt poor he used to sneak food out of mom and dad's house then come for a visit. later, we both wound up at college together. his friends used to refer to us as luke and leia, which despite the incestuous meaning never bothered us. and yes, he knows every line of the movie.

he married a wonderful woman and i was one of his "guys" at the wedding. she's smarter than he is and he likes it that way. we don't worry about one another. it's the deal we made.

and my uncle... dad was the one who conducted hubby's and my wedding and so mom and uncle s walked me down the aisle. he might be the most generous person i know. when i was born he had his knees replaced... 36 years ago and i think he's ready for another set. every year he treats us to a family vacation in the obx. it might be the best week of the year for all of us. each year he asks us if we want to go again as if there is any question.

when i graduated from seminary he gave me a framed picture of a boat out on the water. looking at it gives me an uneasy sense of calm. my uncle, on the other hand, gives me an easy sense of calm.

then there is the family that i am not blood-related to. there is my mother-in-law, who reads my blog all the time and who i would say nothing but wonderful things about even if she didn't. she is my other mom and she taught me how to cook a turkey. i've heard her curse once and that was when she was quoting someone.

and hubby's sister and 2 brothers... and their families: when you get us all together... stand back: all we do is drink wine, eat, and make stupid jokes about bodily functions.

and then there is the pobble, who said the most wonderful things about me on my birthday in her blog. she is my sister and my dearest friend. no one can be as honest with me as she can. we've shared underwear. she holds my deepest, darkest secrets safe. and i got her's too.

one of the best gifts i got for my birtday was an impromptu lunch date at mcdonald's the day before my birthday before i had a meeting in her new home town. and i even paid.

and then there are the kids... but i talk about them enough already.

ahh.. my family.

God's peace, y'all.

yes, she is

my mom called not long ago just to say thank you. she had just finished reading the last post about my b-day.

about 12-13 years ago i went through a battery of pyschiatric tests for candidacy to become a pastor. the quack who did the testing believed that i should try to be more like my dad instead of my mom.

now my dad is a wonderful, unbelievable man (that's why mom married him), but i am my mother. shortly after being told that my mother wasn't worth emulating, i decided that if i could be half the woman my mother is i was going to be ok. i also decided that i would claim, with open arms, those parts of me that were just like her and not apologize for it.

and i've loaned mom out many times. she can give a hug like nobody else and she hugs indiscriminately as if it's necessary to live.

she used to stand on her head at parties when i was a kid and now gets down on the floor to play with her grandchildren. she makes the best macaroni and cheese in the world and would feed the world if they showed up at her door.

she doesn't care if you are gay, straight, black, white, or purple... she'll still dance at your wedding.

she is opinionated, and almost always right (which has often driven my brother and me crazy.) she used to call us pumkins and little indians. and she rocks!