3 things that make me happy

packing for vacation.

discovering that the bottle of strawberry daquiri mix in my fridge already has alcohol in it.

and purple chrome nailpolish

God's peace y'all

she understood

hubby and i ran to the mall yesterday with the silent prince. we wanted to get a few things for vacation. hubby loves the store steve and barry's so we went there. sarah jessica parker of sex and the city fame has a new line of clothes there which are fabulous and downright inexpensive. (i'm wearing a new shirt and shorts right now that cost a little over $20 total.) the line is called bitten and you can check it out here.

her motto: fashion is not a luxury. i love it!

out of the steve and barry's i spotted a payless shoe and mentioned to hubby that since the kids have toes sticking out of their shoes perhaps we could find some end of the season shoes for them to wear while we're away.

we pushed the silent prince in the store in his new stroller (a three-wheeled number made by jeep) and searched the kids shoes only to discover that it is not yet the end of the summer according to the prices on the shoes. hubby (who had just bought a pair of sandles) was checking out the men's shoes when i noticed some girl's flip flops on an end cap. i was looking through the sizes to see if any would fit the princess kitty when i heard "no, no" behind me.

an elderly woman had snuck up on us and must have said hello to the silent prince when he grabbed the skin on her arm and started to squeeze and wasn't letting go.

i suppose there was too much stimulation in the payless and he was on overload. when this happens or when he gets frustrated because he wants something we won't give him he pinches or bites.

i pulled him away from her and did the only other thing i knew how to do: apologize, apologize, apologize.

she said over and over again that she was ok and that it was alright, but i was really worried that he had hurt her (he's certainly hurt me when he's done that.) and then the most amazing thing happened: she took my hand, looked straight into my eyes and told me her neice has a son with autism. i felt my eyes well up with tears; i really thought i might lose it right then and there.

she must have held my hand for 5 minutes in the middle of the payless. she told me how he sometimes did the same thing, but how much she loved him, how much her whole family loved him, and how special he was.

she told me the silent prince was a gift.

and she is right.

she was a gift too. who knew angels liked to shop at payless shoe source.

God's peace y'all

this is where i will be saturday for one glorious week!

for the 6th summer my parents, uncle, brother, his wife, hubby, the kids, and i will be on vacation together. this will be the second year that a family friend will be joining us.

we head out friday to spend the night at the half-way mark with hubby's sister and her husband. we've been doing this for the last two years and she always has a mixed drink waiting for me.

i have all but the last harry potter to read (i read the first one years ago), an 800 page historical fiction about mary queen of scots, and whatever really good book my sis-in-law brings along and lets me borrow.

i expect the hardest decisions i will have to make on a day to day basis will be:
what should i have for lunch today?
should i swim in the pool or go shopping?
do i want to go to the beach today or tomorrow?
is it too early to take a nap?

ahh... saturday!

God's peace y'all

what i learned today

it is NOT illegal for a parent to take off their belt and hit their child with it where i live.

God's peace y'all and keep on your belts to keep up your pants

no weddings and a funeral

i'm home again from PA where my grandmother, whose name was pansy, lived and died. it was a good trip all things considered. we were able to take the kids to the pool at the hotel the night before which was fun and relaxing after the long drive. and the silent prince slept the whole night thru in the hotel room (that NEVER happens).



we missed the family viewing the night before. had i been ready to leave when i wanted to leave we might have made it, but we would all have been dressed in shorts and t-shirts and as it turned out the princess kitty was pretty adamant about not seeing her great-grandmom's body anyway.



there was an open casket set up at the church so i was able to kiss her good-bye. it feels funny to kiss such a cold thing. because the body was right at the entrance to the church we spent quite a bit of time outside with the kids during which time this exchange happened:



man from the church: "you're from connecticut? is it true what they are going to do up there?"


cats: "i don't know, what are we doing?"


man from the church: "you're going to let those aliens off scott free?"


cats: "what aliens? you mean we have martians in connecticut? because i am totally opposed to martians."


man from the church: "now i'm not prejudice, but those mexicans... they have all those drug problems down there."


cats: "that's why they all want to come here. to get away from all those drug problems."


man from the church: "but they bring them all up here."


cats: "i don't know, i see a lot of drug problems caused by white kids int he suburbs"



cats' brother: "ok, no no more politics."



i was the preacher at the funeral (only almost lost it once) and though i was very nervous (why, i don't know) it was a good sermon and it felt right.



my grandparents were married for 71 years before my grandfather died almost 11 years ago and they had 6 daughters. the first birth was a boy, but he was still born. one daughter, who was my godmother, died when i was in college. from the six daughters came 16 grandchildren (my brother is the youngest) and from us came 31 great grandchildren (the silent prince being the youngest.

at the funeral of my uncle (who's wife it was who died of cancer) we put the princess kitty (then a wee baby) in the arms of the oldest great grandchild. she had just gotten married and we had a long conversation about how they were going to wait a couple of years before having any children. my grandmother took one look at her holding the princess kitty and said, "she'll rub off on you." not even a month passed and we heard she was pregnant with the first great-great grandchild. last thursday she gave birth the to 6th great-great grandchild two days before my grandmom died at the age of 100.5.

right now i know she is with my grandfather, wearing red, and dancing with a smile on her face.

God's peace y'all

this was my day

well, first yesterday was hubby's installation at his new church. it was an awesome day! church was great in the morning and the service later was wonderful. lots of family and friends including hubby's roommate and best friend from seminary who came to preach perhaps the best installation sermon i have ever heard.

his mom was with us this weekend, which is always wonderful, but last night i was certain he said that he would take her to the train station and i would pick up the silent prince from the bus.

so i had my alarm set for 8am, but since i've had this horrific cold or allergies or whatever is making me cough and snot-up for the last week i decide that i would reset the alarm for 9 and sleep another hour.

of course the phone rang twice (i use my cell phone for my alarm clock so it was right next to my head). i took the first call, but didn't even check to see who the second call was from.

after my mother-in-law was out of the shower i jumped in because i had a 10am meeting. downstairs ready to go hubby asks where i'm headed. why? because he thought i was taking his mom to the train station. the argument ended with me saying i would be back in 45 minutes to get her and then leaving the house.

then my appointment was late (she apparently was having a similar morning) i was too tired to have a real conversation with her and hopefully all our plans will make sense when we go to actually implement them.

the ride to the train was very nice (though i was still trying to wake up) i love my mother-in-law and so spending time with her is no biggy. i thought i would walk her into the station, but she told me to just drop her off so i missed running in to the dunkin donuts for the iced latte i was now beginning to crave.

heading back i figured i would hit at least one dunkin donuts and be able to get my latte and a bagel, since i was now hungry. finally i find one (which is weird that it took me so long since they are EVERYWHERE in CT). i pull in to the drive thru, except that it isn't the drive thru so i turn around and try again. i wait forever, straining to hear the very soft voice that finally says, "can i help you?"

"a medium iced caramel latte with whipped cream and a..."
"wa-wa-wa-wa..."
"i'm sorry, what?"
"our latte machine isn't working."
"give me a plain bagel."

and i wouldn't have cared that it cost me $1 for just a plain bagel and no latte if just once the woman at the window had smiled, or said hello, or have a nice day... or anything remotely friendly.

so now i am in a very foul mood, but wait... it gets better and by better i mean worse.

my cell phone rings. it is the school nurse at the silent prince's summer school. he has bitten another child and the nurse called the pediatrician to see if his tetanus shot was up to date and guess what! it's not! so, the nurse informs me that he can not come back to school until he's gotten his tetanus. doesn't matter that his appointment is next month. i call the pediatrician and they say i can bring him in at 10 of 4 today.

i have to make 2 visits and i decide i will do them before going back home. i realize at this point in the game that if i go home i will never want to go back out again. one visit is at a nursing home the other is at the hospital. which one should i go to first? well, the one closest to the dunkin donuts so i can get my latte of course.

so i go get the latte (and i must say that i have never been displeased with the service at this particular place. my latte was ready the moment after i was given my change and the lady actually smiled at me.) and then i head to the nursing home. my visit is not in her bed. i go to the nursing station and ask... of course i have shown up right in the middle of lunch.

so i go find my visit eating lunch with her daughter and tell her that i will go to the hospital and come back once i am done there.

so i go to the hospital. i've been to see this woman once already, but i can't remember her room number so i go to the information desk. their computers are down. i laugh... this is MY day afterall. i know that she's on the 5th floor and i remember which way i went the last time so i figure i can read the names on each of the doors until i find her.

i get to the 5th floor and decide rather than reading names i will just ask at the nurses' station.

and do you know what they tell me? she's about to go down for some tests. i laugh again. it seems like a better idea than heading up to the 8th floor and checking myself in to the psychiatric unit.

i run in to see her anyway. we have a lovely 5 minute visit before the orderly comes in and says she has to take her away. we pray and i head out to go back to the nursing home.

my grandmother's funeral is wednesday and it will take us over 4 hours to get there so after agonizing over whether or not i should miss an important council meeting on tuesday night i finally made the decision that we should go tomorrow around 3pm (just in time for all the traffic of course) and spend the night in the hotel.

hotel life is not easy when you have a 5 yr old with autism, but if we leave at 3 we will be there in time to go swimming in the pool and relax before wednesday comes. everyone at church is very sympathetic and insistent that i do what i need to do. being able to arrive before 2 in the morning and take the kids to the pool sounds like a good plan especially since the princess kitty is now devastated that she will be missing the biggest and best field trip of the summer in order to go to a funeral.

there is a message on my cell phone. hubby has just remembered that he has vacation bible school from 6-9pm on tuesday and he feels funny about missing it.

i contemplate turning around and going back to the hospital to check myself in on the 8th floor again, instead i continue to the nursing home.

in the end, hubby made arrangements to not be at vacation bible school, the silent prince got his shot (and didn't even flinch my little brave boy), and now i am trying to finish writing my funeral sermon for wednesday.

and that's been my day.

God's peace y'all

good bye

my grandmother died this morning. i'm sad, but ok and thankful for prayers that have been offered.

God's peace y'all

and my brain is currently completely empty

i have been tagged by the pobble

and given a "thinking blogger award. apparently there was some dicussion about who would actually get me as one of their tags. how nice to get "fought" over.

here are the rules:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think,

2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme,

3. Optional: Proudly display the ‘Thinking Blogger Award’ with a link to the post that you wrote

since i can't tag the pobble again (someone else got this honor) here are my five in alphabeltical order:

Acknowledge, Move On. this is my brother's blog. he's always been a deep thinker, read his blog and you'll know why

ABB. she has amazing thoughts and expresses them unlike anyone else i know.

Bible Bending. this is a new one for me. it examines the bible in pop culture.

Post Secret. i read this every sunday morning before church to put my life back into perspective

and honestly, everyone else has been taken by someone else already. but 4 is almost 5.

God's peace y'all

this time

i'm going to go see my grandmother. it's about a 4 hour trip and the decision was made yesterday to go with my mom. i didn't go when my paternal grandmother was dying. i had a chance and we decided not to in the end because i was days from giving birth to the silent prince. she died 12 hours before my water broke and i missed the funeral.

i don't have time to write the whole story. gotta go shower and get moving and ready for the trip.

i'll be back on tuesday evening.

pray for her passing to be peaceful and our hearts to be lifted.

God's peace y'all

sunday

another good day at church, at least to my reckoning. just posted my sermon for today here. slowly and surely i have made the decision to talk about sexuality and the hypocracy that takes place in christianity. it will be a slow process and right now i am testing the waters and trying to prepare the soil. if you are the praying sorts... then say a prayer as i begin to tread on this dangerous ground. so far so good.

and.. if you pray i covet your prayers for my grandmom. she's 100 and last night my mom received a call from one of her sisters saying she isn't doing well. we're waiting to hear the update today. they call her "giggles" at the nursing home because she is always happy.

God's peace y'all

freedom

i don't usually post my sermons here, just the link to my sermon site, but since it's apropos for the 4th of july i thought, why the heck not.

God's peace y'all

a sermon based on Galatians 5:1, 13-25

In the name of Jesus; amen.

I am surrounded by American history buffs. My brother is a big fan of World War II history, my father is big into the Civil War, and my best friend is a constitutionalist who once considered becoming a lawyer. Now I enjoy watching the history channel, but I can’t say that I am all that into American History except that this weekend it seems pertinent to understand some of the history of this country.

We wanted to be free from English rule. That desire launched our forefathers and mothers into a rebellion that turned into the Revolutionary War. It was the time that defined us as a country, at least to begin with.

Growing up in Philadelphia I used to walk streets where battles were fought for our independence. I have stood in the room where the Declaration of Independence was signed and even touched the Liberty Bell. I rode my bike through Valley Forge where the greatest battle our soldiers fought was against the cold of the harsh winter and one day I spent hanging out in Betsy Ross’s home where the first American flag was sewn.

I take the freedoms I have as an American seriously. They provide me abilities others do not have in other countries: I can worship as I choose in the religion I choose, I can speak my mind, and have access to news that tells me what is going on in the world, I can gather with others, and I can petition the government for redress of grievances.

No matter how other nations and peoples might feel about America this is the greatest country in the world and I would not choose to live anywhere else.

In our second reading Paul writes to the Galatians: For freedom Christ has set us free. Stand firm, therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery. For you were called to freedom, brothers and sisters only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for self-indulgence, but through love become slaves to one another. For the whole law is summed up in a single commandment, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

Just yesterday I told my daughter that she couldn’t do something she very much wanted to do. Her response to me was, “We live in America; this is a free country.”

“Yes,” I told her, “but that doesn’t mean you get to do whatever you want.”

The freedoms we enjoy as Americans come with great responsibility. As Uncle Ben told Peter Parker aka Spider Man, “With great power comes great responsibility.” I don’t just have the freedom to assemble; I have a responsibility to assemble when there is a need. I don’t just have a right to free speech; I have a responsibility to speak out when there is a just cause.

The same is true with the freedom that Christ offers to us as Christians. We have been offered salvation, the greatest freedom, because it is freedom from damnation and hell, but this freedom comes with a responsibility to love our neighbors as we love ourselves.

As Americans we love ourselves dearly. Two days ago Apple released its new iPhone a combination Mp3 player, cellular phone, and storage devise for all sorts of things from pictures to videos. At 3:30 in the morning, the mayor of Philadelphia, John Street, got in line outside of an AT&T store in order to be one of the first people to purchase an iPhone at 6:00 that evening. After spending about 8 hours in line some punk kid with a mohawk haircut questioned why he, the mayor of Philadelphia, wasn’t working when there had already been 200 murders on record for the city of Philadelphia this year.

His response? “I can work anywhere.”

We love ourselves dearly and I am just as much of a capitalist as anyone else in this room or in this country, but perhaps John Street standing in line to buy an iPhone had nothing to do with the responsibilities of his job as mayor of the city where so much of our history as a country took place.

Paul tells us that we should live by the Spirit and not by the flesh. It is easy to get caught up in the list of fleshy things that Paul goes on to list: fornication, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealously, anger, quarrels, dissentions, factions, envy, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these. These things drive us back into slavery and away from Christ. But be careful not to focus on this list only, to do so would be entering another kind of slavery where the fear of the wrath of God dispossesses the grace of God which Christ won for us.

It’s the second list where our focus should go: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. These are the fruits of the Spirit and they are the fruits that feed us in our lives as Christians. They are the fruits of freedom in Christ’s death and resurrection which we share.

This week as we remember the freedoms we have as Americans we should be called to a renewed responsibility to use those freedoms, but we should not ever forget that our true freedom was won on the cross and in the resurrection.

Love your neighbor, give thanks for joy, work for peace, have patience, show kindness, exercise generosity, be faithful, reach out with gentleness and let your self be controlled by the Spirit.

Amen.

'Ohana, the amazing swimming dog

since it was 1,000 degrees today i took the kids in the pool after dinner. the water was still too chilly for me to go all the way in, but it was very refreshing. the three of us were having a great time until suddenly there were 4 of us in the pool.

that's right, the dog jumped in the pool.

'ohana is 1/2 border collie, 1/2 black lab, 1/2 gazelle and 3/4 fish. (and no, i am not that bad at math. close, but not that bad.)

she had a grand time swimming in circles around the pool until she realized that nowhere in the pool is she able to stand without going under. at this point i also realized that eventually she would drown if i didn't get her out. she jumped, i pushed, and the pool survived which is a good thing for the dog.

now to try and put the air conditioner in the window of the silent prince's room... i might want to get back into the pool after that.

God's peace y'all

why do they call it tossing your cookies?

i don't remember eating any cookies.

i do remember being sick as a dog (another weird saying, how sick can a dog really get?) this past friday night. now that it is monday morning i am finally feeling like myself again and sitting at the computer. it's been a long time since i've posted anything even though there have been lots of things on my mind.

i've been reading three new blogs worthwhile in their own ways:
bible bending: a site that monitors the usage of the bible in popular culture,
The Pentecostal Pariah: a mom with an autistic son, and
2 dollar productions:who replaces any need i might have for people magazine.

and that's all i can say right now. gotta go and pretend to have a life and work to do... actually no pretending needed; i do have a life and work to do.

God's peace y'all

just practicing semantics

it happened again today. i opened up a piece of mail from an conservative religious group within my denomination and saw the words: "practicing homosexual."

few other things disturb me the way this phrase disturbs me.

from dictionary.com:
prac·tic·ing –adjective 1. actively working at a profession, esp. medicine or law.
2. actively following a specific way of life, religion, philosophy, etc.: a practicing Catholic.

ok, maybe there are some who could make the argument that homosexuals practice being homosexual if you follow the second definition, but i have yet to hear one person use the phrase: "practicing heterosexual" and this is why the phrase totally falls apart for me and becomes stupid and silly.

strangely enough i don't practice my sexuality... i'm not certain how exactly i would do that besides some obvious activities that are reserved for me and hubby alone... of course i haven't ever referred to that as practicing, not even the first time.

what do people think glbt's do exactly... to practice being glbt? do they have to keep trying to practice until they get it right? why is it that i don't have to practice being straight? or do i? omg, what if i'm not practicing and suddenly become a lesbian because i haven't practiced being straight enough?

sexuality is not like piano lessons folks.

and here's the next problem with this phrase. "practicing homosexual" is supposed to refer to those people who are having sex with someone of the same sex. if they aren't practicing... do they suddenly become heterosexual or asexual?

is my sexuality based solely upon whether or not i practice having sex?

maybe it's that there isn't a better phrase that we use such a stupid one. (it unnerves me even more when people who seem hip to this kind of stuff use this phrase.) but i'm not really sure that we need a phrase to describe this concept of glbt's who are in relationship or sexually active besides "single" or "in relationship".

sigh.

God's peace y'all

at least the sun is shining now

but not but a few moments ago this was my world

this is the front yard. i wish you could see the river that was my street.

'ohana, the dog, checking out the weird white ice ball things.

this is my herb garden. i really hope the sage survives the puddle in which in now lives.

a piece of hail in my hand. i waited until after it stopped coming down to pick this one up.

God's peace y'all

2 rainbows

ok, it had been just one rainbow, but then i couldn't log in to post this and decided to do some reading first and now it's 2 rainbows.

the first rainbow is something i received in an email this morning:

Autism Speaks created a music video of the Five for Fighting song, "World", which features images of autistic children and their families. It is a truly moving video and was the work of Bill Shea. The band is generously donating $0.49 to Autism Speaks for each time the video is viewed - the funding goes toward research studies tohelp find a cure. When you have a moment, please
visit the link below to watch the video and pass it along to your friends and family. They are aiming for10,000 hits, but hopefully we can help them to surpass this goal.

here's the link.

the silent prince is doing well, but has suddenly turned aggressive. he grabs and pinches and bites. the other day at school without warning he jumped on the girl sitting next to him at circle time. i think he's frustrated. without words, he can't say, "i don't like this" "i don't want to do this anymore." "i want this instead." "i don't know how to do what you are asking."

he's also getting heavier and still does the trick where he makes his whole body limp when he doesn't want to go where i want him to go. this forces me or whoever is watching him to have to drag him or pick him up. and of course, if he really doesn't like that... he bites or pinches.

the silent prince may not be able to speak, but his autism can... so please take a moment to visit the video... and if you blog, to consider to link to it on your blog too.

that was the first rainbow, here's the second from Rambling Along In Life:

We have come along way,
but still have a long way to go.
Thanks to all those who have paved the way,
Some even gave their lives...
Keep their fight alive...
We won't forget!!



It is that time of the year again where I post a photo that shows the rainbow and ask everyone to pass it around in hopes of spreading the idea of diversity. It may not be as pretty as last years, but it is more of the point I am trying to make. This is a rainbow created by different forces in nature (a little sunshine, water and wind). Last year there were over 100 of you who participated in my challenge and this year I want more. As I find the picture on sites, I will link to that site here in this post. I will try and keep this post at the top of the page all month long with links to the other sites. This challenge is not just about being accepted as a gay man, but it is about societies around the world learning to accept people for being themselves... diversity. Gay, straight, Christian, Muslim, skinny or fat... we need to be a little more accepting these days. The world is a mean place, let's work to make it a little nicer by showing this colorful rainbow that formed thanks to the right angle of the sun and a slight breeze across the pond. Mother natures way of saying she approves of this challenge... shouldn't we all.

God's peace y'all

just turned 8 and she thinks she rules the world

the birthday party was a success, impromptu as it may have been. the pobble was a big suprise (sorry dondon, no pictures of her in a bathing suit and spiked heels). and i got 6 extra free cupcakes because they neglected to tell us they couldn't provide vanilla when hubby made the order then sent him home with all chocolate. (yes, i complained, yes, i told them they were ruining my daughter's birthday party and that they needed to provide me with 6 vanilla cupcakes. amazingly enough there were plenty of packages of vanilla cupcakes at the store on tuesday.)

of course now that she's 8 she believes that bedtime should be 9:30 instead of 9:00. apparently she has friends whose parents let them stay up until all hours of the night. honestly, i love it when the kids finally go to bed and i can just be me for awhile.

fyi: i am writing this as she sits on the guest bed in the computer room asking me what time it is about every 8 seconds.

poor princess kitty got sick on tuesday and the substitute teacher wouldn't let her go to the nurse... the sub did however let her eat one of the cupcakes i brought for her class (that i bought on sale because they made so many extra vanilla for the rest of the world). she missed school yesterday, but went back today. too much excitement for a little tummy i supose.

this weekend is my mom's birthday. the older her grandchildren get the older she gets too. she and my dad will be here sunday to celebrate. i'm working on a suprise. say a prayer it works... especially you mom, if you are reading this.

in the meantime i have a second deadline. something like 5,000 words by july 2. i'm writing in between every other thing i do. the first deadline is about 2 weeks after, about half the writing, and perhaps not as difficult an assignment as the second. this is what i get for wanting to write and actually have someone pay me to do it.

oooh... it's now 9:03 pm. time to wrangle the 8 yr old princess kitty into bed and then i think i will pour myself a drink and watch a scary movie from blockbuster.com.

God's peace y'all

happy birthday princess kitty!

the princess kitty turns 8 tomorrow!

now let me start by saying that i have been a terrible mommy because i have done just about NOTHING to plan any kind of party or festivities to celebrate, but yesterday hubby and i went to the store and came home with this:

i had to take the picture from the window of the second floor porch so that i could get it all in the frame. it's been filling for the last 2 1/2 hours and is just about 1/4 of the way done (hence why there is a hose in the picture but not any people.)

hopefully a few of her friends will show up tomorrow for a swim after the memorial day parade and some hot dogs on the grill. and the pobble will be here as a surprise. we'll take her to the chinese buffet (it's becoming a birthday tradition) with grandmom and grandpop and i'll make some cupcakes tuesday morning (ok, i will probably wind up buying them pre-made from the store) to drop off at school for a treat for the whole class.

hopefully it will be a great day all around!

God's peace y'all

good-bye to a friend

sometimes saturday comes and i got nothing. this wouldn't be such a big problem except that tomorrow is sunday and more than a few people will be expecting me to have something, namely an enlightening and uplifting sermon for them to listen to.

today is one of those saturdays. i got nothing and for pentecost of all times. pentecost being the day we remember the coming of the Holy Spirit, the third person of the trinity who is supposed to inspire my preaching.

so, well over an hour ago i sat at the computer expecting to flit around the internet hoping for something to start my creative juices flowing when i stopped by a discussion board i like to frequent. mostly it's made up of other pastors from all over north america, who have become friends even though i have met none of them in person.

i stopped there because there is a link on my bookmarked page to another site where other pastors discuss the readings for sunday, but before i could clink on the link i saw a post entitled "sad news. a-w-g dead."

awg was a pastor in maine who worked with congregations who suffered from clergy abuse and with pastors who were suffering burn-out. there was more than once that he offered me encouragement and his prayers. i sat and cried before i responded to the post. funny how someone you've never met could touch you like that and yet it happens all the time.

there is a lot of ugliness that can be found on-line, but i have also found a group of people who have become dear to me... people that i could walk right by on the street and not recognize. awg was one of them and i grieve the fact that now i will have to wait until heaven to see him face to face.

God's peace y'all

i'm "it"

YOUR TURN!

well, dondon just tagged me, which means that i will postpone what i was going to write about in order to answer his tag. (you'll have to check in later to see what it was i was going to write.)

So here are the rules of the tag:

* Post a similar post like this one and add a link back to the person who tagged you.
* List 5 reasons why you blog about the things you blog on your blog.
* Choose your 5 tag ‘victims’ and tag them nicely, just like I did :)
* Write a comment on their blog letting them know that you tagged them. Voilà! Or, as less literate people will say, "Viola!" (Will they?…)

task one: completed
task two:

reason one of why i blog: i belong to a discussion board and on the board there was one particular person named rick of brutally honest who convinced a few of us that we should also blog.

reason two of why i blog: because in considering rick's challenge to blog i was reading someone else's blog and wanted to post a comment. in order to do that blogger made me create a blog... hence in order to leave a one sentence comment i had to give birth to finding avalon.

reason three of why i blog: cause all the cool kids are doing it and i am too dumb to realize i'm not a kid anymore.

reason four of why i blog: to keep family and friends up to date on things going on in my life. (my mother-in-law is one of my most devoted readers... hi mom!)

and reason five of why i blog: because like dondon i've found some wonderful people on-line and made connections i would never had made otherwise.

now rule 3 and 4 are going to be harder because dondon has already picked 3 of the 4 people i would have tagged. so if you are reading and you blog... consider yourself tagged... meanwhile i am off to tag the two left: rick and my brother.

God's peace y'all!

jerry

well, my friend dondon has some pretty funny political cartoons on his blog about jerry falwell and not long ago crackerlilo wrote about his death as did the pobble who grew up in falwell land.

and then there was this cartoon

when the pobble called last week to ask if i had heard about his death, i hadn't. i told her that i had no doubt that God was right at that moment wrapping arms around jerry, but that jerry was most likely very suprised by who was embracing him. (God as a black lesbian perhaps...)

i've been thinking about whether or not i was going to say anything about his death because frankly i had a hard time with him in his life. i have a rule about speaking of the dead. it comes from having to preach at funerals of all kinds of people. my rule: honor the dead, but be honest.

on that note, this seems to be both.

God's peace y'all

10 inches shorter

well, i finally did it! i had all my hair cut off... 10 inches to be exact and here's the picture to prove it. actually it feels as though i took off 10 unwanted pounds. gloria did a great job. i can't even tell you how freeing it was to have her chop away that ponytail.

the next step is to fill out the form for locks of love and send it away. any gray hairs they find will be sold as well as any strands that measure under 10 inches.

i know i said i didn't want to go too short, but i am grooving on this cut... and hair always grows back.

God's peace y'all

getting paid

a few posts ago i mentioned that i was offered to audition for a worship resource with my denomination's publishing house for a new, not-yet-named web resource. at the same time as i received the offer to audition i also put my name in the hat to write for another of their worship resources. this all came about because i sent in a worship service i wrote that sat on the desk of the person who reviews such things for several months. she read it 3 times wondering how they could use it.

well, yesterday i received a call from said person who, based upon the service that sat on her desk for 6 months, offered me a small free-lance gig for the worship book that is published annually.

i am going to get paid for writing something!!!

this is and has always been a dream for me. and i am thrilled!!!

now i have to start scheduling time to really sit and write. i have to finish the audition piece in the next week to submit it and then as soon as i get the details of this new gig i need to begin work on it. and this doesn't even include the 2 novels that i am still working on.

oh, and here's the sermon from mother's day... hope all you moms had a happy!

God's peace y'all

tranquility

sunday the princess kitty and i took some time to clean off my porch. she had an ulterior motive, she wanted the other half of the space for a play room / club house. i still have a pile of papers on my desk that need to be filed away either in a file or the trash, but the space is ready for actual use. it's a three season room; way too cold in the winter to spend any time on and there aren't any outlets so i have to drag an extension cord out to turn the lamp on, but i like the candlelight at night and the tranquility of the space when i have it to myself.

i'm the kind of person who needs her own space which is strange for an extrovert. extroverts get their energy from others, but i need time for just me to process it. now that the winter feels like it is finally over the porch becomes my me space... a place to find a different kind of energy. i've begun to light a single white candle that the pobble gave me for christmas every time i go out there. my plants have begun their journey out of the kitchen and back onto the porch, though now i'm wondering if i want to take them all out of the kitchen. i've grown accustomed to them there. maybe i can grow some herbs for the windowsills to keep the green in the kitchen.

it's all helping to add a peace back to my life i've missed and didn't even realize.

God's peace y'all

all you need is love

and the sermon for this sunday.

God's peace y'all

"sex-workers"

maybe i've said this before, but i'd like to say it again.

probably because i've been reading dondon and abb talking about the resignation of the bush administration's AIDS czar, deputy secretary of state randall l tobias after it was discovered that he had been using a "service" to have women come and give him "massages".

you might notice that i never capitalize anything in my posts, except that is the "g" in God and all the letters in AIDS.

while i am no longer active in the work i once did around AIDS' issues i can still tell you more than you'd probably like to know on the subject especially when in comes to AIDS in africa.

things are better and worse there. better because more information, more programs, more money, and just more help is reaching people who desperately need it... worse because that help seems only available to a certain group of people. help in the fight against AIDS in africa needs to be for everyone regardless of what they do AND (yep, i used capitals again) must include the "c" word: CONDOMS (i'm on a roll now).

except that the bush administration doesn't like condoms despite the fact that it is our leading weapon (they do like those) against the spread of AIDS.

they also don't seem to like the idea of helping women who find themselves caught in a vicious cycle which propels them into the word of making money with their bodies since policy dictates that american governmental money can only go to those programs which only teach abstinence and do not give out condoms.

now i don't support prostitution on any level, but i do know that there isn't anything i wouldn't do if forced with little choice on how to feed my children... so i want to tell you a story. it's fiction only in the regard that i've made up this particular version, but it is a non-fiction story because it happens all the time.

abeni hasn't seen her husband in many months. chimelu had to travel to find work to provide for their family, but now he is returning home. she is excited to have him home and meet their second child who was born while he was away. but when chimelu arrives abeni realizes that he is terribly sick. she takes him into their small home and wonders how long it will take before others in her village begin to talk and say that he has AIDS.

in the weeks that follow abeni tends her husband as best as she can. she doesn't have medicine for him or gloves to wear when she touches him. she worries about letting her children get near their own father. almost no one in their village will come near her or her children. none come to see chimelu except the pastor. his eyes are glazed over when he visits; he has done so many funerals that his visits seem rote.

when chimelu finally dies everyone from his family arrives for the funeral. they weep and cry then hurry into abeni's home. as his relatives, tradition says that they are entitled to an inheritance. by the end of the day they claim everything that once was owned by chimelu; furniture, sheets, blankets, cookware all depart with them.

abeni is left with an empty home and small children to care for. eventually she makes a difficult choice, if you can call it a choice. she goes out to the place where she knows men like chimelu work. away from their wives and families they are lonely and willing to pay for the only thing left she has to give.

at first she considered herself lucky because she was able to obtain some condoms and a stern warning from the relief workers who had given them to her that she must use them if she didn't want to get sick herself. but as the day wore on she discovered that none of the men would pay her for sex if she asked them to use one. disheartened she returnes home to her hungry children.

the next day she tries again, this time she finds a man willing, but he only gives her enough money to buy food for one meal for her children. by the end of the week, she gives up on the condoms and makes enough in one day to feed her children for the rest of the next week.

when the money runs out she works another day and feeds her children for another week. but as time passes so does the virus she is unaware of in her body. more chimelus go home to their abenis. some of these infect their wives through sex some when their wives care for them as they die. some wives escape their husband's disease only to find themselves needing to feed their children like abeni did and the cycle continues.

this is just one story, but it is the one that haunts me the most. in the eighties our government kept quiet and did nothing to prevent the spread of AIDS because it was a "gay disease." today our government refuses to do what is really necessary to stop the spread of AIDS in africa because it is a "sex-worker disease."

except that it is a disease, a terrible, horrible disease that attacks anyone it can get into. and it is on the rise in america too. young people who didn't live through the eighties epidemic believe if they get it they can just take drugs to keep themselves alive and healthy. abstinence programs don't work here and they don't work in africa. and while condoms are not the cure they are the best line of defense.

but perhaps the most important lesson to realize is that hypocracy will pull us further and further down into a cycle none of us can survive.

God's peace y'all

the lazarus phone

in the bible, lazarus is one of jesus' friends, one of his best friends in fact. shortly before jesus goes to jerusalem to be crucified he gets a message from lazarus' sisters, mary and martha, that he is very sick and dying. they tell him to come right away, but jesus waits before going to bethany to see them. by the time he gets there lazarus is already dead, for 4 days.

in their grief both sisters tell him that, "if you had been here our brother would not have died." it's an impressive statement of faith. it's also the story in the bible (the king jame's version at least) that contains the shortest verse in scripture: "jesus wept."

jesus goes to his friend's tomb, tells them to roll away the stone, and then calls to lazurus to "Come Out!" and he does!

so yesterday hubby and i took the kids to play in the backyard before bath time. when it was time to come in i suggested that we throw their sneakers in the washer and dryer. they were pretty dirty and the silent prince had managed to step in the dog poop i had neglected to clean up from the back yard.

now hubby does all the laundry (yes, i am a lucky woman) so i hand him the sneakers, we strip the kids and he gets the rest of the laundry from upstairs to make a full load. somewhere in the process i had taken off the sweater that i had been wearing and tossed it over the arm of a chair because i had gotten hot. i got the kids in the bath and ran down to get it because now i was chilly. it wasn't there.

"hubby, where's the sweater that i had right here?"

"i put it in the wash."

"MY CELL PHONE WAS IN THE POCKET!!!"

hubby made a mad dash down the steps to get the cell phone and i poured another drink. my brand new hot pink cell phone (which i hadn't insured) was filled with water.

it was dead. it was a bath toy. bath... the kids were in the tub! back upstairs i went, the tub was filled with bubbles and the kids were still alive.

later i went on-line to see if there was any way to upgrade a phone that i had owned for about 1 1/2 months. nope. called cingular. the very nice woman at cingular told me that i was sunk, but that she had once dropped her phone in a glass of water and it had dried out and worked again. i could also buy a new phone at retail. the cheapest they could offer with the blue tooth was $99.

after a conversation with hubby, where the phrases, "i hate you" and "i love you" both came out of my mouth, he told me to go ahead and get the new phone for $99. i called cingular back... they were closed. i went on-line, but i couldn't just buy a new phone without getting some sort of package... which i didn't need. i would have to wait until this morning to call cingular back to get the phone.

so this morning i go downstairs to get my morning cup o' tea and just for the heck of it i decide to try putting the battery back in the phone (which still has lots of condensation) and see if it will turn on.

AND IT DOES!!!

it's like a miracle!

now onto the next technological problem... how to watch both grey's anatomy and er tonight when they are both on at the same time and i don't have TiVo.

God's peace y'all and always remember to check your pockets before doing the wash.

for my brother...

and anyone else interested...

here's the sermon for easter 4.

God's peace y'all

now that the cat is out of the bag

i can now share the secret with you all that i deviously mentioned in a previous post. hubby has a new job! he was offered another call at a church about 15-20 minutes away. this one is full-time and he is really excited about it. it's a process we have been in since last october and we've not been allowed to share it with the general public. this past week he was able to inform the congregation he is currently serving that he is resigning.

the church he is leaving has been nothing but good to us for the last 2 1/2 years. they are wonderful, loving, generous people and we'll miss them being in our lives. but this new place is what he has wanted for some time now and it's the right move.

if you all are the praying sort... keep zion in your prayers as they deal with his leaving and begin the process of finding a new pastor.

God's peace y'all

bridges

one of the fun things about having the pobble and lithus visit was the deep, theological, social, and political discussions we found ourselves suddenly involved in at the kitchen table. i am a highly opinionated person and i will tell you those opinions freely, but somewhere in my upbringing and in my life experience i realize that i also have an ability to be in the middle and listen to both sides.



i have ultra conservative friends and ultra liberal friends... they aren't often friends with one another, but they are my friends and i will stand between them and with them. i am not always the best bridge because i am not a moderate (well, maybe on a few issues), but i try. ultimately i want justice done and that love thing that jesus talked about to occur between people who, like me, are highly opinionated.



maybe that's why this cartoon struck me this afternoon:


God's peace y'all

weekend wonderful

the pobble brought lithus to meet the family this weekend and he had the honor of being the only person i have ever baked a pie for. (now i have baked pies before, but never for just one specific person.) we spent the majority of our time together eating really good food, enjoying a bottle of rum, and sitting by the fire bowl in our back yard or around the kitchen table talking life and religion and mostly laughing like crazy.



we got some good news, but it's still a secret so you'll have to wait to hear and NO, i am NOT pregnant.


last night we made s'mores after a dinner of pork loin wrapped in a sage wet-rub and bacon. as the pobble and hubby said, "i can do pig." here's a picture of the pobble's fuzzy pink slippers and the beautiful fire that toasted perfect marshmellows.


lithus is wonderful; we love him already! and since i consider the pobble my sister i can't say enough how happy i am for her. you want your friends to be happy and healthy and this is the relationship where she can be happy and healthy.


she also downloaded the pictures she took during my birthday weekend so here are my shoes. they were my b-day present from the pobble and i love them!

who doesn't need a pair of fabulous shoes?

God's peace y'all

hey knucklehead

so i get a phone call and an email (subject line: hey knucklehead) from my brother today to say happy birthday to the silent prince (please read my last post!) and wanting to know where last week's sermon is.

so, here it is:

easter 2 sermon

God's peace y'all

FIVE!!!

tomorrow (thursday) my silent prince turns five! today was the 5 yr anniversary of my paternal grandmother's death.

we knew she was going to die soon, but i had gotten the call in the morning that they had stopped giving her the treatments that were keeping her alive and that she would probably not last the day. i made the decision to take the day off from work and take it easy. at about 2:30 my mom called to say that she had died at 12:15pm. her last wishes were that no matter what else was happening my mom would come to be with me the moment my water broke (she knew what the silent's prince's name was and somehow that my water would break)

i called hubby and he told me he would come home then i went to take a shower and cry. i remember standing there under the water and telling God that there was only one thing that would make me feel better.

hubby came home and held me and the 2 of us fell asleep for an afternoon nap.

he went to pick up the princess kitty from day care and i sat down at the computer to write something about my grandmother. i expected that i wouldn't make it to a funeral in my condition and i at least wanted something that i could give to my dad.

my mom called, "i've been thinking," she said. "why don't you write something that could be read at the funeral? maybe sister-in-law could read it for you?" (not sure what made her think of my brother's wife... but it was the right call).

"i have about 2 paragraphs left to write, mom. i'm going to take a break and finish tomorrow."

we had dinner and then i decided to sit back down at the computer and finish my memorial. i emailed it to my dad and sis-in-law. i think i even called her and asked her if she would indeed read it at the service which of course she said she would.

my grandmother was a quilter and i inherited almost all her sewing stuff. i still had the pillow she helped me cross-stich and sew when i was about 8 years old and so i wrote about God's love being like a quilt.

that night i climbed into bed late... about midnight. it was taking me forever to fall asleep and at about 12:15 i rolled over in bed, thinking maybe i needed to go to the bathroom, and my water broke. 12 hours exactly from the time that she died.

we called the dr first and then my mom who was out of the bed and in the car within 30 minutes to begin the 3 1/2 to 4 hour drive to be at the hospital moments after i had told the nurse, "i want my mommy."

i hardly remember them putting him on my belly. (it had been an awful delivery) what i remember is after they cleaned him up my mother carried him into the room and pulled the little cap from his head to show me the red fuzz that was just like my grandmother's hair. "they passed on the way" my mother said as she handed him to me.

my dad called earlier today to see how i was... we spent some time remembering those moments five years ago... "emotional days." we said.

sis-in-law did a wonderful job reading my memorial; even held the pillow that i had made with my grandmother those many years ago as a child. at the service they sang a hymn that i had never heard before but is now one of my favorites; when the prince was baptized we sang it then... another connection.

the second verse always chokes me up:

Thine the life eternally
Thine the promise let there be
Thine the vision thine the tree
all the earth on bended knee
gone the nailing gone the railing
gone the pleading gone the cry
gone the sighing gone the dying
what was loss lifted high.

happy birthday my sweet prince

and God's peace y'all

comfort and peace

God's peace y'all

i-mus wash my mouth out with soap

so i've been trying to figure out what i might say about the idiot who used offensive and derogatory language about the rutger's ladies basketball team.

and i've been having trouble deciding exactly what i should say.

do i think he should have been fired? if i employed him i would have fired him that same day. GONE... DONE... don't let the doorknob hit you... because he was too dumb to keep his big mouth shut when those thoughts came into his head. yes, i have certainly said some dumb things in my life-time... and i support free speech even when i don't like what is being said... but his job is based specifically on what he says and he blew it.

so i've been home with the kids and hubby who are all sick with strep (again!) and all day as i have flipped channels on the tv every white faced pundit has been complaining about gansta rap and why it's ok for them to use offensive language, but not poor ole imus.

sigh

i suppose there is some good answer for that question... i just have a hard time answering it for the media.

then i go and read abb's comments on the whole thing and think... oh thank God someone is making sense.

"I don’t support banning words. I’d like this to be a world where my blog doesn’t average an anonymous n-word comment a day…but I do not support banning words.

Banning people? Hmmm. But that’s for another post.

Now, if I had a dollar for every long skirt wearing, Wednesday and Sunday all day church attending, well-read yet still misunderstood bible carrying sistah who took more time to communicate her dislike of my blog title than she has ever taken to participate in the community she alleges to defend against me I’d own CBS Radio!

Regulating language...no matter who is using it... doesn’t get anyone off the hook for what we do or fail to do in our communities.

My brothers and sisters we need to engage our community with consistency and authenticity, not only when some a**hole on the radio touches a nerve."

she is always worth the read. just be warned she does use strong language to get her point across.

God's peace y'all

beep beep

in case you've been wondering how the big honk for jesus scandal is going...

you can read this

or this

or this

or this

or this

or any of the other "about" 54,100 possible links to this story on google.

or you can read what the pobble has to say... in my mind, she makes the most sense.

and i should note that i was misinformed about how many time one was supposed to blow their horn for jesus. i apologize if i inadvertently got you to honk in support of satan...

God's peace y'all

saturday

of all the nights in our calendar this is the holiest for christians. the vigil of easter marks the night that God did something amazing and miraculous, the most miraculous thing in fact. sometime this night Jesus rose from the dead, or so we believe. i consider it a truth... a reality. it might be unexplainable or impossible... but the truth of it is in my very soul. plenty of people try to disprove it, many discount it, and plenty would call me a fool for it. but it is because of what happened on this night some 2,000 years ago that my life is livable and purposeful and filled with hope and love.

whatever your faith... i hope you find the holy in this night... that it sweeps you up and fills you.

God's peace y'all

ps... this night happened because of yesterday (Good Friday). if you're interested in what i preached about that... look here. and now that i am done my easter sermon you can find that here.

Holy Week

this week has gone by with tremendous speed. i've been waiting for the pobble to send me the pictures she took during my birthday weekend and i promise to post them as soon as i get them from her including the picture of the FANTASTIC shoes she bought me as a surprise while shopping at target.

already it is good friday. my next service is in 1 1/2 hours with the other local churches which means i have to shower soon and hope i can find a clean black clerical shirt to go with the white collar i wear. if not... at least i will be wearing a a robe to cover whatever i do find to wear.

last night was maundy thursday and it went fairly well. we do a foot washing to rmember when jesus washed his disciples' feet and i was surprised by the amount of people who came forward... more than i have ever had. maybe it was the sermon i preached... maybe it was the spirit. and we had 2 visitors... an odd thing for a service during holy week.

tomorrow the princess kitty, a friend, and i will make easter eggs and cupcakes with marshmellow bunnys for the 42 people who will be at easter dinner at my parents' house. right now my mother is frantically trying to finish cleaning and getting ready for said 42 people. it's supposed to be colder on easter than it was on christmas which means we will all be inside rather than out on the back deck like we usually are. ever had an intimate dinner with 41 other people?

well, now it is time to bathe and search for my pastor's costume.

God's peace y'all and blessings to you in this Holy Time!

a pobble present and other birthday goodies

for my birthday this year i am getting the pobble for a present! she arrives between 6 and 6:30 tonight (unless traffic is horrific) to spend the weekend with me. as we were im'ing about it she told me that she was going to be my present... and i am more than happy with that.












hubby's present for me arrived yesterday... a new hot pink cell phone and bluetooth earpiece with matching pink streak. his bluetooth was a christmas present and i've been jealous of him ever since.

tomorrow night my parents will take us all out for dinner at the chinese buffet. i really wanted mexican, but the kids won't eat mexican and besides... i can have mexican on saturday for my actual birthday since the pobble also said she would cook... and she can make mexican.

i will be 37 which is still young... but it's as old as i've ever been. last summer vacation my uncle made the comment that i was pushing 40. i gave him as hard a time of it as i possibly could and i am pretty certain that i embarrassed him... after all, if i am pushing 40 that makes him OLD.

this growing up thing still feels weird to me. how was it that i came to be pushing 40? i don't feel like i'm pushing 40... and is it possible to push 40 away?

in the meantime i have been growing my hair for locks of love. i've been saying that i was going to cut it by my birthday whether or not i had enough hair. after a while the ponytail gets boring and i yearn for the short cut which gives me no options on the question of how to wear my hair today. i might have 11 inches if i go very short... but hubby has been pretty adamant about wanting me to have long hair so i will probably go yet another month before doing any chopping.

now it is time to get back to work so i have lots of time to celebrate my birthday weekend!

God's peace y'all

do i offend?

i arrive at work, put down my things and my secretary says, "want a good laugh?"

well, of course i do, "i could use a laugh... tell me."

prior to my arrival she had taken a phone call from a local business owner who was calling all the churches in town. she had just recently moved her little shop to a small shopping center next to the local tatoo parlor. (and yes, i have been considering going there for the next tat... even have a business card for one of the artists.)

now this woman is what i might call a jesus freak. at christmas time she had a sign outside her other shop that said, "Merry CHRISTmas... Put the Christ back in Christmas." and now that it is fast approaching easter she has a, "Honk Twice for Jesus." sign in front of her new shop.

so, the owners of the tat parlor approached her and told her she had to take down her sign.

"i'm not taking down my sign." she tells them.

"it is offending our clients," they tell her, "who are satanists."

"i'm not taking down my sign." she tells them again.

"there will be repercussions."

so she called all the local churches and asked them to have their members drive by her store and honk twice.

i laughed out loud, with my jaw gaping... and then i went on a tirade.

we live in a pluralistic society. not everyone has to be christian. and yet... instead of us being more tolerant of others we've become more intolerant! i really don't care if some (you-know-what) satanists are offended by jesus!!!

*sigh*

God's peace y'all and don't forget to honk twice for jesus.

being sick stinks

well, i am still on the antibiotics for the strep. feeling better but still not totally myself. the thing that really sucks about being out for so long is the back log. 10 mintes before church started and i realized about 50 things that i needed to have done before today arrived that never got done. phone calls that got started, but never completed... phone calls that never got made at all.

and there were a host of things out of place. a whole piece of music was missing from the altar that i use every sunday. (5 times now i've done this particular one and i still go flat in the one part.) i had to run out of the church and down to my office to find another copy of it and wound up grabbing the whole book for one page of chanting.

the silent prince came with me this morning. he usually goes with hubby, but i took him today. that threw me off a little. i didn't make it into my office before church and so i didn't see all the things that would have reminded me of things i needed to have...

and then he peed on the woman who was watching him. she had to get up in the middle of my sermon to change him. i almost ran home to get her dry pants... but since i had already left the santuary once for something i had forgotten i let her suffer through wet pants for the rest of the service. bless her heart.

and i've been neglecting posting my sermons on-line. something i was doing religiously (pun intended) for quite some time. so i'm going to do it now.

here's the link and the last several weeks of sermons.

God's peace y'all

oh bugger

so the silent prince has a gate on his bedroom door. we have it there so that we know when he is upstairs he's safe and not getting into things.

today i put him in his room, shut the gate, and went to take a shower so i could go to work. i bathed, got dressed, put on some make-up, and walked down the hall to my closet in order to find my shoes. my closet is in between the kids' rooms and i happened to turn and look into the princess kitty's room and guess who was standing there...

... that's right! the silent prince! little bugger.

so i picked him up and put him back in his room then proceeded to watch as he threw his little leg over the gate and pulled himself over.

life as i know it is over.

and then there is my grandmother, who turned 100 at christmas. you may remember that i wrote about her and my uncle having cancer. my uncle is doing very well, but my grandmother's tumor is growing despite the radiation treatments. the tumor is next to her eye and if left unchecked will rot her face... an unpleasant and awful way to die. so she will be having surgery to remove part of the tumor.

i think it is best, if the tumor were anywhere else in her body, doing anything else... i might feel differently, but it is not somewhere else or doing something else. it is rotting away her face... that beautiful face that smiles and laughes.

her name is pansy so if you would... please keep her in your prayers, good thoughts, and or whatever it is that you do to connect with God or some higher power.

and God's peace y'all

3 out of 4

3 out of 4 members of the cats household now have strep throat. 4 out of 4 members of the cats household do not recommend having strep... especially hubby, the one out of 4 who does not yet have it.

i say "yet" because strep is contagious and i expect him to show symptoms any day now. if i am lucky i will be well enough to take care of everyone once he gets it.

i say this because hubby is super-dad and super-hubby capable of doing 10 loads of laundry, cleaning the entire house, and mopping all the floors in a single day. not to mention the fact that he gets the kids up in the morning, gets them dressed, and puts them on the bus before i have my morning cup of tea.

needless to say... i am not looking forward to him imminent sickness, of which i am sure he will get eventually.

so now i am going to get into bed, watch bad daytime television, and hope the kids take naps.

God's peace y'all... and a little echinacea, hot tea and vitamin c too

i love the 80's

so last night i downloaded a mess of alternative 80's hits and have been playing them over and over again allowing the memories to wash over me. the 80's were not my favorite time... i was a depressed teenager filled with angst that would have made ally sheedy's character from the breakfast club seem happy-go-lucky. and yes, i now have a copy of don't you forget about me by the simple minds.

while i didn't enjoy the 80's i certainly have some amazing memories of friends and the music we listened to.

walking home from the bus stop with ed, who was dating one of my best friends while i was dating one of his, singing the violent femmes, blister in the sun while wearing our combat boots. i was so proud of mine which resembled cowboy boots. i still have them because i used to say that i wanted to be buried in them. of course my feet have grown after all this time that it would be a real trick to get them on my feet even if they were dead feet.

then there was malcolm, who all us girls in highschool would describe as dark chocolate. he was a swimmer and tall and as smart as he was beautiful. there really isn't one particular song that made me think of him, but once you start reminiscing other memories appear and so did one's of malcolm. years after graduating i was flipping through my yearbook and realized that i hadn't noticed that he had signed it saying that he had as big a crush on me as i had had on him. while i am grateful for the life that my mistakes lead me to... if i had known then...

on my 19th birthday the pobble and i took a weekend trip to va beach. it still ranks as perhaps the best vacation of my life. it was a four hour drive from her home to the hotel with the view of the beach. at the time i had a cassette of roxette's she's got the look. it was one of those singles... the kind with one song on each side. we might have listened to side b a total of 3 times the whole trip fast forwarding it every time it came to the end so we could listen to side a one more time. we were in va beach before we decided that perhaps we should listen to something else for awhile.

but 80's music reminds me most of college even though i didn't finish college until the mid 90's. i had a few friends who were dj's on the college radio station. one had an all 80's show, another had an all female show, and the third, my big sister from the sorority i was in would make me keep her company while she did her late night show.

when i was having boy trouble jacklynhyde played i need a lover who won't drive me crazy by pat benatar and once while she was covering for ted's saturday night 80's show she dedicated a song for me called jesus was way cool... or something like that... while i was working on a sermon i was going to preach in the chapel the next day. i can't for the life of me remember who sang it or any of the lyrics... but it was hysterical. it didn't help with the sermon prep... but it did give me a good laugh (and a few worries about who might show up in chapel the next day to hear me.)

and then there were the pet shop boys and erasure... i can't go into the stories that erasure brings up from my college days... needless to say we played them loud and got really goofy in the college owned house we lived in senior year.

ahhh... the 80's where we could dance if want to... climb up solsbury hill... and shout, shout... let it all out.

God's peace y'all

ave maria

this morning, after doing what i had to do i took my cup of tea and sat out on my back porch and listened to bobby mcferrin (of don't worry be happy fame) and yoyo ma performing ave maria.

this is it on youtube (without yoyo).

God's peace y'all

birthday weekend

hubby's birthday is monday. since we have no money for any gifts i hatched a plan to invite two of his favorite friends up to visit for the weekend. on sunday i was whispering to my mom that they were coming up when hubby appeared, on the phone with his mom, and said, "my mom's coming up for my birthday. is that ok?"

well, of course it was ok, but it threw me big time and i think his mom (hi mom) and he were a bit concerned that maybe i didn't want her around.

so i gave in and told hubby that they were coming. mom's waiting until tomorrow to come up so we would have tonight just with them and we would have the chance to clean the house.

in the meantime, the princess kitty has decided that we MUST have a birthday party at a restaurant for daddy. since our lives are really about her... we will be going to the chinese buffet (hubby's favorite) for dinner sunday night. when my mom called and asked if they could just meet us at our house afterwards, i said, "no, this is about the kitty, not hubby and she wants a party for daddy."

so i did home repairs today... including fixing the toilet that wouldn't stop running. in the process there is now another leak. it's a small one and manageable until the big weekend is over and i now have the parts to fix it. i'm a bit tired of plumbing at the moment anyway.

my hands are also blue. yes, blue. no, they aren't sad... they are actually blue. hubby put one of those bowl cleaners in the tank which makes the water blue every time you flush it. of course this meant that my hands were in it as i worked on the tank. surprisingly very little else is blue... and honestly, i only have a few blue spots left on my hands.

so that was the day... think i will go get a hard mike's and wait for b&c to show up for the festivities to begin.

God's peace y'all

i lost it

so i bit the bullet and changed to the new blogger dashboard. i wasn't too worried, because it told me that i would be able to access my old template and therefore (so i thought) have access to all the cool sidebar things i had... and still be able to put the picture i had in my header back into my header.

as it turns out, either they lied or i am not as smart as i had once assumed.

of course i am connected to a few web-rings... but since i joined them so long ago i don't remeber what they all were or if i remembered what they were then i can't remember how to log on in order to get my link back.

this is an "ARRGGHH" moment.

so instead of working i am trying to figure out what i had there and how to get it back. in the meantime i added a new clock to the sidebar and changed all the colors on the blog.

there is nothing like starting from scratch

God's peace y'all

apraxia

apraxia is (if i have this right) the brains inability to organize information so that a person can do certain things. this includes speech.

the silent prince is called so because at almost 5 years old he still doesn't talk. he makes lots of noise and babbles. sometimes the babble even sounds like he is trying to say something...

last friday hubby and i took him to see a developmental pediatrician. we've been waiting for this appointment for over a year now. when he was diagnosed with severe autism and mental retardation last summer we were told by that doctor to keep the appointment as a follow-up. we are really glad we did.

while he is autistic, the doctor used some other words to describe him too. apraxia is one of those words and it means that we have a new focus on helping him to speak. it also means that his babbling might also be his trying to actually say something. as hubby has said for awhile, "he knows what he's saying... we just don't understand him."

she also mentioned the possibility of some type of attention deficit disorder. we often described this part of his personality as short attention span. what the doctor told us is that he doesn't even get to this point. his attention is so short-lived that he doesn't process information for memory unless he is put in a position to be more organized.

the lead is also a factor... how much of one, we might never be certain, but she talked to us about the possibility of using medications to help him focus his attention once all the lead is out of his system and thus help him to learn better. (this might take a long time because his levels are being stubborn and refuse to move to treatable levels.)

when we asked her about IQ testing (in regards to mental retardation) she talked us out of it, at least for right now. without verbal skills it is difficult to test IQ though possible. the problem is that she believes his IQ would still test much lower than it actually is... "no need to break your hearts" was her comment.

while all this sounds overwhelming it is really good news. the more issues there are the easier it is to chip away at each thing a little at a time... and as we go along the severity of his autism diagnosis might lessen in level.

in the meantime his new favorite food is a clementine... i've had to hide them so that he doesn't eat the whole case grandmom got him at once. he's learning how to dribble a ball (and if he grows as tall as daddy i won't rule out the NBA). he's incredibly proud of himself every time he pee-pees on the potty and the movie dumbo absolutely hypnotizes him. and he is still the happiest little boy i know.

God's peace y'all.