life is difficult. it's one of those lessons we learn as children and grow older. usually it begins with the lesson: life isn't fair, but as we mature the lesson also matures. i've come to bemoan the fact that nothing is ever easy, even the stuff in my life which should be easy is usually complicated and difficult. there are all sorts of reasons for this. I could list them all, but that isn't the point of this post.
the point is that i do own big girl panties and i wear them on a regular basis. i might compain or procrastinate, but i put them on and deal with what needs dealing with every day. when things don't get done - well there are only so many hours in the day and only so many of them when i am capable of doing everything that needs doing.
the point is that my dear hubby also owns big boy undies and he wears his everyday too. sure there are lots of times when he puts pj pants on top of them, but he works a full-time job, and still gets the kids on the bus every morning and makes dinner for us every night. he deserves a break and rarely ever gets the kind he deserves.
the point is that my 12 year old princess kitty has her own big girl panties and despite the fact that they are several sizes too big for her she wears them regularly and keeps them up. she fights to be an actual kid, but you can tell by looking into her eyes that she's tired of grown-up responsibilities and worries.
the point is that my 9 year old silent prince is still in diapers. he doesn't wear big boy undies and who knows if he ever will. do i wish this fact was different? do you think it's been easy changing diapers for the last 12 years? do you really think that i'm looking forward to trying to clean his poop when he's 11? 15? 21?
so the real point is don't make it harder on me - or on us. if you want to help- OMG thank you, but don't think that you are being helpful by telling us what to do or by judging what we are already doing. we are already doing more than we can handle and all of us are more than willing to explain why we
have a lock on his door - so he won't play in traffic in the middle of the night or empty the contents of the refridgerator onto the kitchen floor when we have to go to the bathroom -
don't put any furniture in his room - because he literally destroys it and sometimes hurts himself in the process -
have special wall board on his walls - because he's a smearer and poop is hard to clean off of drywall -
don't come visit - because your home isn't silent prince-proofed and we will feel horrible when he destroys, unintentially, all the nice things you have -
have a messy home - because we could spend 24 hours a day cleaning up and it would still get trashed when he plays
don't just send him away to a residential home - because even though it might make life easier on a day to day basis we need his smile, and kisses, and laughter to be a complete family.
and we are doing the very best that we can. we would love the help, but the system is set up so that it's near-impossible to get it and i don't have that extra 10 hours a day to wait on hold with one government agency only to be told that they don't do that so i will have to call the government agency that i was on hold with 10hours the day before who told me that they didn't handle those kinds of cases and i would need to call the government agency i was on the phone with now. (what, you didn't understand that sentence? welcome to social services!)
God's peace y'all