Friday, April 29, 2005

my children; my blessings

my little "bubba" began pre-school yesterday. mommy got him up and dressed, gave him breakfast and daddy drove him to school for his first day.

he hung up his coat in his cubby (with teacher's help), played with instruments during circle time, and ate all of his snack, then rode the big boy bus home.

today, both of my children were at school by 9:00am. i'm feeling funny and happy all at the same time. my little girl knows how to brush her teeth and hair and can't wait to go to day care where she will eventually get on the bus to be taken to kindergarten. and now, my little boy...

i told my daughter last night that she was growing up too fast. "do you wish i could stay a baby?" she asked. "no," i told her. "i just wish you and your brother would slow down!"

it's one of the joys and pains of being a mom. your children grow up, they get bigger, smarter, able to do things that there weren't able to do just yesterday. you ask: where did the time go? weren't they babies in my arms just a moment ago? oh how i love them! oh what joy and blessing they are.

ad i can't wait to hear all about their day.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

prayers for marla

it is very easy to forget that there is a war (many in fact) going on in another place in this world. no matter how scared we might be of another attack on american soil, the truth is that we are sheltered here from the realities of war. please continue to pray for all those who "fight" over seas, especially for those who don't carry guns, that God might bring peace to all of creation.

Saturday, April 23, 2005

faith is not a four letter word

yesterday in church i told my congregation that i wanted them to finish my sermon by turning to their neighbors and telling them how God had been active in their lives. for about three minutes i stood at the organ discussing what was happening with the organist who was a bit skeptical about the exercise, but definitely intrigued by it. when i called them back to order i asked them if they knew what they had done.

a child sitting in the pew closest to where i was standing said, "we talked about God and us." well yes, i told them... but we did something else too... what was it... i'll give you a clue: it starts with an "e" and if it had less letters it would be a four letter word for many people in the church.

another child and one adult (my senior in high school organist's father) called out evangelism.

that's right! they looked shocked by what i had told them.

evangelism is not converting people, it isn't even getting people to join a church; that is the job of the Holy Spirit and she's quite capable of doing her job. (only some were taken aback by the feminine, some even liked it).

evangelism is simply sharing our faith with someone else. it's talking about what we believe, telling the story. most people have trouble doing this simple act. talking about faith is my profession and i still struggle with doing it with certain people; even some of my closest friends.

so we need to practice and then put our practice into practice. there is quite a bit of good news to be told and so many who have never heard it and are waiting for someone to be brave enough to tell them about God and God's love for them.

so i sent them out to tell someone. don't know how many of them will actually do their homework and share a story about their faith, but i will trust that the Holy Spirit will continue to use our faith stories to bring people to the way, the truth, and the light.

Sunday, April 17, 2005

cats the tattooed lady

i have tattoos, four to be exact. i often forget that i have them. a few weeks ago i went to visit the massage therapist who is a member of my church and decided to get a massage. (ooh, it was heaven.) about half-way through my back i realized that she now knew more about me than i had intended for others to know. oops.

the first tat was done in 1991. i was 21 years old and found myself on the cusp of a new life. i had decided to go back to school to finish college and then go on to seminary. my best friend had just announced that she had always wanted a tatoo so we decided to make the journey together. i left sylvester's tatoo shop with a small cresent moon, about the size of a quarter on my left shoulder. it's a pretty pagan symbol; the mark of a priestess, but it was exactly what i wanted to mark that period in my life. my best friend chickened out.

the second tat came on my 32nd birthday. my left ankel sports a cross and the initals of my children. the tatoo artist's name was buffy and she did the next two tats as well: an angel down the center of my back and two dolphins that form the shape of a heart on my lower back. i used money from a funeral that i performed for a lovely sweet woman for the dolphins. her ashes were placed in three urns that (and i can't believe how beautiful they were) were shaped like dolphins, hubby's favorite animal.

tats are addictive. i'd like more, but each of mine represent something very important to me so i won't get another just for the heck of it, besides they aren't exactly cheap. and believe me, you don't want to skimp on permanent markings when they go on your body.

well, now my secret is out there in cyberspace. but then it is 70 and sunny today... chances are someone would notice eventually.

Saturday, April 09, 2005

ramblings on sharing our bread

the gospel reading for tomorrow is luke 24:13-35. in it the risen christ meets two disciples on the road to emmaus on easter day. they are running away from jerusalem and the horror that they faced there. at first they don't recognize jesus until he shares a meal with them and then they are overwhelmed by the experience, so overwhelmed that they return to jerusalem and tell the other disciples what happened.

the invitation for communion is this: Reveal yourself to us, O Lord,in the breaking of bread,as once you revealed yourself to your disciples.

jesus is revealed to us when we share a meal. breaking bread is an opening up of relationship to each other and to God. the prophet isaiah writes: "oh that you would break open the heavens and come down" and this is exactly what God does through a simple act of breaking bread. i love all the hidden meanings: bread=heaven. sharing food= sharing God's love.

tomorrow the sunday school at salem will focus on world hunger. in the Lord's Prayer we pray that God will give us this day our daily bread which i've come to believe is not just bread to satisfy our needs but the needs of the whole world. luther tells us that God indeed provides for our every need. now if we could learn how to share the resources that God has given to us with the whole world.

ahh... saturday morning ramblings...

Thursday, April 07, 2005

thank you

at a continuing education event i attended back in january the presenter, a man named bob sitze, talked about the meaning of saying two simple words:

thank you.

he said lots of things, but this one particular thing really hit home: saying thank you is very important and we should do it as often as we can. part of his presentation had to deal with getting a person's attention. there are so many stimuli trying to grab our attention in today's world. technology, which should have made our lives easier is actually putting our brains on overload. once upon a time a person had to hear something repeated at least 3 times for it to sink in; now it takes 27 times before a person really hears something. so here it goes:

thank you
thank you
thank you
thank you
thank you
thank you
thank you
thank you
thank you
thank you
thank you
thank you
thank you
thank you
thank you
thank you
thank you
thank you
thank you
thank you
thank you
thank you
thank you
thank you
thank you
thank you
thank you
thank you

saying thank you requires a willingness to be vulnerable. we say thank you because someone has done something for us that we were not able to do for ourselves or because someone has done something for us we aren't doing for ourselves.

i have felt an incredible outpouring of support after my last post about my son. people have cried with me, shared their own stories of parenting, offered advise as professionals, and offered to pray for my family. 27 times to say thank you just isn't enough to express my gratitude for all that.

at another site i asked for prayers because i was feeling small and weak and a friend suggested that maybe that was exactly where God wanted me to be. it's true that i have been trying to be strong and not let this situation bother me. the moment that i allowed myself to feel small and weak was the moment that i have felt the most strength.

there is strength in weakness because weakness means that we must rely upon something greater than ourselves. it is the first commandment, the first rule: there is only one God and we are to fear, love, and trust in him above all other things... even our own selves. it is contrary to what society teaches us, that we should be strong, make our own way, put ourselves first...

but faith teaches us, teaches me, that loving God first means that i am not alone and there is strength, great strength in community.

so thank you for the strength, and the support, and the love, and the advice, and the prayers. thank you for this blessing you have bestowed upon me.

thank you.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

my son

my son is developmentally delayed.

yesterday we sat with a group of experts at one of the local schools to determine what kind of program would best meet his needs. they began by telling us that he is a sweet child and oh, he is so sweet. he made his way around the small room where we gathered and cuddled with the preschool teacher, social worker, school psychologist, speech therapist and friend who came with us for support. but he still isn't talking at almost three years of age (his birthday is later this month) and he scored below average in every area of development in which he was tested.

to say that it was a difficult meeting doesn't aptly describe the two hours we spent discussing my dear boy. for the first time since we began the process of dealing with his developmental issues i broke down and cried. i simply want him to be happy and whole; to live life to it's fullest. he deserves it.

a plan was decided upon to enroll him in preschool five days a week for 3 1/2 hours a day. he'll learn how to hang up his jacket, participate in circle time, and communicate his needs either through signs, pictures, or words. he'll even take the big-boy bus to school and even start potty training come the fall.

i am incredibly thankful to the educators that met with us. they showed genuine concern and care for my child. sometimes teachers aren't given enough praise. those women consoled me and the preschool teacher even put her arms around me when i was feeling overwhelmed by it all.

it's painful to hear that you have a child with developmental problems. and it is easy to fall into the trap of trying to place blame upon yourself for what is wrong. is it something that i did or didn't do? guilt should be a four letter word.

but he is such a gift (both of my children are.) and my husband and i were blessed with both of them. how can i not be grateful for both of them; for my daughter who is my joy and my precious boy who is such peace to me?

and there is intelligence in his eyes... a knowing that i yearn to hear him speak out loud. i will keep listening and loving him, my beautiful, beautiful son.

"and vivian followed."

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