Monday, February 27, 2006

maybe 45 isn't so bad

the new pediatrician called this morning after being on vacation. we've been waiting for his call since getting the word on the silent prince's lead level of 45. he has a calming voice and it reminded me how glad we are that we switched doctors for the kids.

we assumed right that the prince would have to be chelated again. chelation is a process of removing the lead through medicine that adhears to the lead and removes it from the blood through bodily functions.

it's a risky process because it can affect the immune system and the liver. in order to put him back on the medication he had to be tested to ensure that the meds wouldn't do harm to him.

so we were sent to the lead clinic at yale children's hospital. i admire when a person (especially a professional) can say i don't know the answer so i'm going to send to you someone who does know. this is what the new pediatrician did. "i'm not an expert on lead, so i want you to see someone who is." and so judy has become our expert.

the first thing that we learned is that having a high lead level is not the bad news we thought it was. when they test for lead they also do another test called a zpp. the zpp tells us how much lead is in the soft tissues of the body. the first zpp, back in november, was 500. 500 is an astronomical number. the latest zpp was 227.

this means that we are about half-way there. now, you can only chelate the blood and the lead level has to be over 40 in order for the chelation to make any difference. so, if the zpp is high, but the lead level is low there isn't much we can do. but if the zpp is coming down and the lead level is over 40 we can keep treating him.

finally, a positive spin on what's going on!

and then she told us something else and for the first time i feel like someone was honest with me. this is going to take awhile. silly me, i thought that this would take one or two treatments and then be over. no, this is going to take time and no one else was willing to tell us this except judy.

judy told us the way things really are. another reason we are grateful for the new doctor. the doctor who told the health department that we would go through the lead program at the other hospital (what program? we were there for two nights and sent home.) and then handled the whole thing himself even though he wasn't an expert.

and it's all grandmom's doing. you see grandmom knows the new doctor's mother-in-law. she goes to grandmom and grandpop's church and apparently likes to brag that her son-in-law is the number one rated pediatrician in the state. so grandmom called her church friend's daughter and asked if her husband would see her grandson.

we got the phone call from his office the next day.

as hubby said, your mom is crazy, but she gets things done. thank God for her.

yup, thank God for my mom, and for the new doctor, and for judy, and our contact at the health department, and for all the people who seem to care so deeply for this little wonderful beautiful child of mine.

and i feel better than i have in weeks. almost as if a lead weight is being lifted off my shoulders...

God's peace y'all

Sunday, February 26, 2006


the sermon for transformation sunday is here.

and i want to say thank you to everyone for the prayers and cyber hugs. the prince is doing well, he's probably doing better than any of the rest of us. the princess kitty is a wonderful big sister and we are doing our best to continue to keep her life normal and routine. she went to a friend's birthday party today at the yMca and had a blast. the prince isn't hurting in a traditional sense. it's just that we don't know the extent of the damage that has been done to him (we may never know.)

hubby and i are angry with no place to really direct our anger and that just makes us angrier. but we are in this together and that makes all the difference. and our faith keeps us going, though we both feel off our game when it comes to being pastors.

this wednesday is the start of the season of Lent. i typically love these times in the church calendar before religious holidays that have been secularized. i begin to refocus and that refreshes me (even though they are also the busiest times of the year for me.) traditionally people give something up for lent, but i think this year i will do my best to add something to my day as a personal form of piety.

and it will be mine and personal... something i may or may not share here at some point. but i know it will begin with thankfulness. thankfulness for the support of family and friends and churchmembers and for this cyber-community.

may God bless you as you have all been a blessing to me.

God's peace y'all.

Friday, February 24, 2006

Thursday, February 23, 2006

45 is not a good number

the silent prince's lead levels are up to 45. this means that he still has a significant amount of lead in his bones. that means that he's probably been exposed for a very long time.

45 is the magic number for needing to be put back on the medication to get rid of the lead, but he's already been through the treatment twice now and the doctor doesn't seem to anxious to do that to him again (there are some risks to the treatment.)

i am suprisingly calm about the whole thing, perhaps it hasn't hit me yet. the next step is getting him hooked up with the lead clinic at yale. and we should hear about all that tomorrow.

my biggest fear is that the lead has been the cause of his delays all along; that it's not just developmental problems he might grow out of, but actual damage done to his brain.

God am i frustrated and tired and so ready to hear different news... better news.

people keep telling me to hang in and i always say i am, there's nothing else i can do. but i'd like some more options.

this is my prince.
i don't really like the idea of putting his picture up, but i want you all to know him (and his amazing face) so that you can continue your prayers and positive thoughts for him (and the rest of us too.)

God's peace y'all.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006


the princess kitty hosted her very first slumber party on monday night and it wasn't a massacre!

it wasn't her first sleep-over, we've had lots of those, but this was the first sleep-over with multiple friends. she chose 3 friends from daycare (the two we invited from school never responded). the silent prince had a sleep-over at grandmom and grandpop's and hubby and i went and picked up the girls after daycare for an evening of hilary duff music, dress-up clothes, and bouncing on the furniture.

the trauma of the night was when one girl decided she needed to go home to be with mommy. the princess kitty was devastated, but got over it eventually. and another girl cried a couple of times during the night forcing me to sleep on the couch. (ever notice that rhymes with ouch?)

next morning i returned the girls to daycare and was informed that they had a great time (and yes, we played hilary duff in the car on the way there 'cuz i'm the best mommy ever!)

i just wish i understood why they call it a slumber party when it was so hard to get them to actually SLEEP!

God's peace y'all!

Sunday, February 19, 2006

sunday blogging

we're waiting for the grandparents to arrive for a be-lated valentine's day party. the princess kitty has finally finished over-decorating a vanilla cake with chocolate frosting which is my favorite. mom is bringing a treat for dinner: summer sausage.

summer sausage can only be gotten in and around the little towns where my parents grew up in pa. it's not exaclty breakfast sausage... it's better; it's not hot, but not really sweet either. it's just plain yummy. my mouth is watering just thinking about it. if only i had lettuce with hot bacon dressing to go with it.

mom was visiting my g-mom this weekend and convinced the butcher to give her all the sausage he had left (including some from another order.) g-mom is 99 years old and it took awhile for her to figure out who my mom was at first, but apparently she was holding a picture of my parents and one of my kids when my mom arrived unannounced. somehow she knew.

it's been an emotional weekend for me. a man i've been visiting with since coming here passed away early friday morning. the last think i said to him before leaving the hospital was i love you, i'll see you again. i'm glad he died (sad, but glad that his struggle has finally ended with cancer and congestive heart failure.) they would have put in a feeding tube had he lasted another day.

he was a fighter and a believer. i know he's in a better place.

tomorrow night the silent prince is going to stay at the 'rents while the princess kitty hosts her very first slumber party. four 5-6 year olds in this apartment. oye vey. should be fun.

ahhh! the sausage... i mean my wonderful parents have arrived. time to make dinner.

God's peace y'all!

Thursday, February 16, 2006


after reading abb's latest post about the dawg show and its winner rufus i thought i would share my puppy with y'all.

we adopted 'ohana when she was a little over 6 weeks old from the shelter and at 3 years she's still a puppy. a mix of black lab and border collie, she is a handful, still pees on the floor, and loves my silent prince who feeds her under the table.

'ohana is a hawaiian word that means family. if you've ever seen the disney movie lilo and stitch you'll be familiar with the word.

the line from the movie is: "'Ohana means family and family means no one gets left behind or forgotten."

there have been plenty of times that i'd like to leave her behind: like when she ate one of the shoes i had purchased while shopping with the pobble in boston (man, those shoes were fabulous!) but 'ohana is my puppy and i love her. and i know that she loves me.

and she is way cuter than rufus!

God's peace y'all! Woof!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

the silent prince has an h

so this morning the silent prince wound up in bed with me. it happens. hubby went to sleep in the prince's bed until the alarm went off about an hour later.

i woke up because i heard him playing with the laptop. he loves the buttons! in fact he loves them so much he decided to eat one.

the "h" to be exact.

i didn't realize that he had taken it until later when i went to do my morning routine of checking email and my favorite blogs. at least hubby found a little piece of plastic that once held the letter button to the rest of the keyboard.

at least there's no H in love.

'appy valentine's day!

God's peace y'all.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

let it snow

well, i have cancelled church. since we are in the middle of a blizzard i figured it was prudent. of course that also means that i am stuck in the apartment with hubby, the princess kitty, silent prince, the dog: 'ohana, and two cats and we are out of coffee. it's only 11:40 and already i am feeling claustrophobic.

and apparently i'm cute and cuddly, but not all that funny.

You Are Fozzie Bear

"Wocka! Wocka!"
You're the life of the party, and you love making people crack up.
If only your routine didn't always bomb!
You may find more groans than laughs, but always keep the jokes coming.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

another poem

when i was in highschool i had a HUGE crush on a friend who's name was malcolm. he was a swimmer and dark and beautiful. we were never single at the same time and so nothing ever happened between us though i had always suspected that there was some chemistry between us. during college i happened upon my yearbook and read through the comments that friends had written and came across malcolm's which said something to the effect that he had always hoped that i would break up with my boyfriend so that he could ask me out.

it was great for my ego (and there was at least one more comment like it from another crush.) if only i had been smart enought to break up with the boyfriend, highschool might have been so much more fun.

malcolm and i took lots of classes together (he even nominated me for best butt in highschool~ a coup d’etat for a white chick and though it never got into the yearbook i still won the unofficial poll.)

i often wonder what happened to him (the way i wonder what happened to many of my friends from highschool). malcolm's birthday was march 13 and mine was march 31 and he wrote this poem:

i am a big blue frog
i am a big blue frog
i can fly
and i don't know why
i am a big blue frog.

he had a poet's heart.

God's peace y'all

Friday, February 10, 2006

ode to a poet

yeterday i was at the butler's blog. he has blogger's block and i replied with a play on an emily dickinson poem that i couldn't quite remember. i too have been having blogger's block so i feel for him.

it's not the only place where i'm feeling blogger's block; i haven't spent anytime on my book for what feels like months now.

i learned in college that in order to be a good writer you also have to be a good reader so i thought i would post some of my favorite classic poems and wait for some inspiration.

feel free to assume yourselves tagged and post some poems of your own.


by Emily Dickinson

I'm nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there's a pair of us — don't tell!
They'd banish us, you know.

How dreary to be somebody!
How public, like a frog
To tell your name the livelong day
To an admiring bog!

A rose is a rose is a rose
Gertrude Stein

When I am Dead, My Dearest

by Christina Rossetti

When I am dead, my dearest,
Sing no sad songs for me;
Plant thou no roses at my head,
Nor shady cypress tree:
Be the green grass above me
With showers and dewdrops wet;
And if thou wilt, remember,
And if thou wilt, forget.

I shall not see the shadows,
I shall not feel the rain;
I shall not hear the nightingale
Sing on, as if in pain:
And dreaming through the twilight
That doth not rise nor set,
Haply I may remember,
And haply may forget.

God's peace y'all

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

it really is ok to be a christian

i am currently seeking new blogs to add to my walk on the wild side. there are some really good front runners already.

they include:
willing warrior

i read quite a few bloggers that don't share my faith: some are pagans, some are athesists, and some don't know what they believe. and that doesn't matter to me. i read them because i respect what they have to say. for the most part they have very similar political views as i do even if their views on God differ from mine.

the thing of it is that sometimes it is hard for me to read what they have to say about religion. i know one of my faults is that despite how open minded i am i still want everyone to believe what i believe... especially about religion (and the close-second: politics.)

i've said it here before; i want people to believe in God... especially the God i believe in, because i believe that God is worthy of belief. the God that i believe in is a much more loving God than the god that is promoted by fundamentalists and my faith is far, far different from the religion that is trying to force it's moralistic views into our country's system of law and government.

however (and that's a big however) i don't need everyone to believe in the christian God that i believe in (even the fundamentalists with whom i deeply disagree). instead, what i really want is to feel like there are others who share my political views and still respect my faith.

i'm not going to boo-hoo, or whine about how misunderstood i am, because that's ridiculous and counter-productive. i'm just going to continue to be who i am and not apologize for it.

i'm going to continue giving my respect to others and their views, especially my blog-friends because they deserve it and i will continue to endeavor to earn theirs by being vocal about my beliefs.

God's peace y'all.

Monday, February 06, 2006

what shall i pray

i don't know how i got on this email list; but i will take prayer requests. Anyone have some?

Dear Praying Friend,

Whether he’s signing new legislation, meeting with the family of a fallen soldier or protecting our nation from terrorism, our President and Commander in Chief, George W. Bush, says your prayers sustain and guide him through the complex decisions he faces daily.

That’s why we’re inviting you to unite with millions of other believers for a special day of focused prayer during our third annual President’s Day Online Prayer Rally on Monday, February 20. Thanks to participant input and comments, we’re sure you’ll enjoy the new and improved features to help you pray for President Bush, other national leaders, our nation and our Armed forces.

The impact of your prayers, combined with those of thousands of others, will be substantial! Click here to choose a timeslot during which you’ll pray on Monday, February 20. Click here to view our inspirational video, “Ordinary People Making a Difference.”


John LindPresident/CEO

P.S. Please remember to pray for our President this coming President's Day, Monday, February 20, in our President's Day Online Prayer Rally. Click here to invite your friends and family to participate in prayer as well by sending them an inspirational video along with your invitation.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

super sunday

seattle seahawks by 3 points... but what do i know. i just watch for the commercials.

here's the sermon.

Friday, February 03, 2006

i have a new boyfriend

im-ing the pobble last night we both decided we were terribly bored and needed a day together so she packed up the puppies and came for a day visit.

and i fell in love with lionel. or maybe lionel fell in love with me and wooed me with his big brown eyes, floppy ears, and funny walk.

and the tail... ooh baby.

lionel followed me everywhere. if i got up from the couch, lionel followed me. if i went out on the porch, lionel waited on the other side. when the pobble went to her car to leave and i went to mine to to take the princess kitty to dance class, he didn't want to leave.

he has stolen my heart.

and i now have more pictures of him on my digital camera than ones of my own kids.

"and vivian followed."

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