Tuesday, April 05, 2005

my son

my son is developmentally delayed.

yesterday we sat with a group of experts at one of the local schools to determine what kind of program would best meet his needs. they began by telling us that he is a sweet child and oh, he is so sweet. he made his way around the small room where we gathered and cuddled with the preschool teacher, social worker, school psychologist, speech therapist and friend who came with us for support. but he still isn't talking at almost three years of age (his birthday is later this month) and he scored below average in every area of development in which he was tested.

to say that it was a difficult meeting doesn't aptly describe the two hours we spent discussing my dear boy. for the first time since we began the process of dealing with his developmental issues i broke down and cried. i simply want him to be happy and whole; to live life to it's fullest. he deserves it.

a plan was decided upon to enroll him in preschool five days a week for 3 1/2 hours a day. he'll learn how to hang up his jacket, participate in circle time, and communicate his needs either through signs, pictures, or words. he'll even take the big-boy bus to school and even start potty training come the fall.

i am incredibly thankful to the educators that met with us. they showed genuine concern and care for my child. sometimes teachers aren't given enough praise. those women consoled me and the preschool teacher even put her arms around me when i was feeling overwhelmed by it all.

it's painful to hear that you have a child with developmental problems. and it is easy to fall into the trap of trying to place blame upon yourself for what is wrong. is it something that i did or didn't do? guilt should be a four letter word.

but he is such a gift (both of my children are.) and my husband and i were blessed with both of them. how can i not be grateful for both of them; for my daughter who is my joy and my precious boy who is such peace to me?

and there is intelligence in his eyes... a knowing that i yearn to hear him speak out loud. i will keep listening and loving him, my beautiful, beautiful son.

9 comments:

PLM said...

My Godson speaks to me with smiles to deep for words. No, he's never said my name or his Godmother's name; the way Rachel will come running to meet us "Uncle Lee, Aunt Heather!" But Ethan does it in his own ways. At "Cats" installation in CT he held my arm, just to say, "I love you Uncle Lee," as I put his growing body to the floor, heavy from carrying down the church stairs. His words will come, don't worry mom and dad - And, he already finds ways to give them, with smiles too deep for words.

-PLM

Jacklyn Hyde said...

Delayed is not frozen in place. You have done a wonderful job in catching his exceptionality (it's a teacher term) quickly and early. He's really lucky to have a mom and dad who watch him carefully, not to mention a big sister who will help him play "catch up".

Again, you are doing a wonderful job in your care and concern for Ethan. He will thrive in time, with his family's patience and love. As a new teacher, I am so glad to know there are such involved parents out there!

B'Shalom

RickinVa said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
RickinVa said...

Try this again... (I don't like blogger)...

cats, I don't have words of wisdom or advice... I'm not very good at offering encouraging words or saying something that might be comforting...

But given what I know about you (learned from what I've seen you write), I can confidently say that God will continue to lead and guide you and your husband, and that your love for your son will lead to good things for all three of you and those close enough to be able to see what will take place...

I'll be thinking and praying for all of you as often as I remember to... (which I think will be pretty danged often)...

The Lord's peace and love to you and yours...

Sue said...

i can only echo what rick has so eloquently said already. please know that I will be praying for you and your family.

OMG said...

OK cats, I wanted a blog from you but....

Anyway I know it will be alright.

Maybe when he gets to be the age of my boys, you won't expereinced the broken hand and broken knuckle each of my adult sons have gotten in the last year or so from fighting. Before they sound like brutes, my youngest, the 21 year old marine reservist was accosted unprovoked the other week by 3 gang members. He handled the situation quite well I am pleased to say.

Anyway my thoughts to you, and your son!

Cindy said...

Ah cats, He smiles and gives love and joy and you and your family love him and you have done and are doing everything you can do for him and God is with you and all will be well and all will be well and every kind of thing will be well. My prayers and God's Peace, Intern Cindy

PrBillotf said...

Cats:
As a father of another "exceptional" son and the brother of yet another, I can only say I know the exhaustion, love, fear, hope, and all the rest that go with it. Talking? My youngest didn't start talking till almost three. An she isn't developmentally delayed. Her siblings wouldn't let her talk. But I always knew she loved me.

As he nears the end of high school I still dread "the phone call" each day. Somedays are good some are not. But I know my son loves God and the rest of us and he does try his best. (Most of the time.)

A long way to say...I'm right there with you my sister and I'll pray for you. Please pray for me too.

Pr. Bill otf

Tom in Ontario said...

Oh woman of great faith. I don't doubt that you'll feel great joy and some sorrow as you live and grow as your children live and grow. Teach them to make the sign of the cross upon themselves as they lie down and as they rise and remind them that God loves them and is ALWAYS with them.

Then remind yourself of the same thing. I have confidence that you and your family will soar on the wings of God's grace.

God's peace be with you.

Shalom

"and vivian followed."

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