"this isn't my first rodeo"

... has become hubby's new favorite quote. funny, since the person to first speak it was george w at a press conference where he informed the nation that donald rumsfeld was being replaced by robert gates.

i forget what the question was that got this particular answer, only that hubby and i were watching when it came out of the president's mouth and it made us laugh. if nothing else, the president supplies some funny lines.

i suppose that i watch the daily show with jon stewart too much since now, whenever i hear the president say anything, i hear stewart's voice in my head giving a running commentary.

george w: "and i say to the people of iraq: do not be afraid."
jon stewart's voice in my head: "that's for the american people, not those who have bombs going off on a daily basis in their backyards..."

sigh

so i received several comments on my prayer at yesterday's veteran's day celebration. i appreciate the positive words. for some reason i was actually nervous about the whole thing. i suppose it was because the first draft of the prayer (which i did in my head) was pretty political. in the end i decided that it wasn't a day for me to be political, but thankful for those people who wear the uniform of a soldier.

the key note speach was delivered by a police officer who had served in afghanistan after 9/11. he began by saying he wasn't a public speaker, but he did a fine job.

one thing he said, which has been weighing on me, is that it is important for those currently serving to believe that the american people support the mission that they are doing. i found it an interesting statement because all along i had said that i don't support this war... haven't from the beginning, but that i have tremendous respect and gratitude for those who are fighting it.

in other words, i am one of those who likes to say that i support the troops, but not the war and what he said was... that just doesn't work.

except the word he said wasn't "war" it was "mission."

i take what this man said to heart, because he was a soldier and i am not. he has been in combat, i have not, nor do i ever want to be either.

so i've begun to ask myself: do i support this mission?

and i can't bring myself to say yes and that frustrates and angers me. somewhere along the line, if i give credence to his words, my ability to support american soldiers has been taken away from me. i can't support them because i don't support this mission.

i never agreed with the decision to go to war; i don't agree with how we have fought this war; and i don't agree with the decisions on how we equipped (or didn't) those fighting this war in iraq.

there aren't enough troops, they don't have the right kind of equipment, and they are fighting against an enemy willing to blow themselves up for the good of their cause. how can we win?

and can i really support the people who are fighting now when i cannot support the mission?

i don't have any answers. i hope and pray that bob gates does.

i do know that i am still thankful beyond any words i could articulate for the men and women who have put themselves in harm's way because they serve in our military. it is because of them that i enjoy the freedoms i do. but i can't support what they are doing in iraq. and while i am not one to place blame or one to shirk responsibility i can't help but believe that it isn't their fault or mine that i feel this way.

and so the rodeo goes on...

God's peace y'all