the silent prince's lead levels have increased to 44. hubby and i will take him for another set of blood tests after a lunch meeting today to make certain that the medication he took before won't have any ill affects on him so that he can be put back on it again.
his doctor says that there must have been a high concentration of lead in his bones that has now seeped back out into his blood. it's what we want to happen, if it's what has to happen. this way the lead is coming out rather than staying attached to his bones.
still, the idea that he will have to be back on the chemet (his medication) isn't exactly pleasing to us. and the idea that we would have to try a different medication instead because the chemet is having adverse affects is even a less happy thought.
not long ago i read a blog about God; or more specifically about how there is no God.
Here are excerpts from the atheist manifesto
Unfortunately, we live in a world in which the obvious is overlooked as a matter of principle. The obvious must be observed and re-observed and argued for. This is a thankless job. It carries with it an aura of petulance and insensitivity. It is, moreover, a job that the atheist does not want.
Only the atheist recognizes the boundless narcissism and self-deceit of the saved. Only the atheist realizes how morally objectionable it is for survivors of a catastrophe to believe themselves spared by a loving God, while this same God drowned infants in their cribs. Because he refuses to cloak the reality of the world’s suffering in a cloying fantasy of eternal life, the atheist feels in his bones just how precious life is -- and, indeed, how unfortunate it is that millions of human beings suffer the most harrowing abridgements of their happiness for no good reason at all.
Of course, people of faith regularly assure one another that God is not responsible for human suffering. But how else can we understand the claim that God is both omniscient and omnipotent? There is no other way, and it is time for sane human beings to own up to this. This is the age-old problem of theodicy, of course, and we should consider it solved. If God exists, either He can do nothing to stop the most egregious calamities, or He does not care to. God, therefore, is either impotent or evil. Pious readers will now execute the following pirouette: God cannot be judged by merely human standards of morality. But, of course, human standards of morality are precisely what the faithful use to establish God’s goodness in the first place. And any God who could concern himself with something as trivial as gay marriage, or the name by which he is addressed in prayer, is not as inscrutable as all that. If He exists, the God of Abraham is not merely unworthy of the immensity of creation; he is unworthy even of man.
wow; even the atheists are asking why bad things happen to good people.
as someone, who hopes that she could be considered "good" by most standards, who is having something bad happen, and who is a believer, i think i might be somewhat qualified to despute the above.
i don't believe that God picks and chooses who to be nice to, nor does God suffer from a lack of care, or an inability to help. i don't think God cares more about gay marriage than the atrocities going on in the world.
i do believe, as a christian, that God made a choice about how intervention would take place in our lives and that is namely to be with us when the proverbial poop hits the fan and covers us in the muck of life. that's why so many victims of natural disasters and personal tragedies can still say: "yes, i believe." because they have God to be with while the bad stuff happens.
but why does the bad stuff happen?
well, it's a little thing called free will. we all want it; the opportunity to believe that we are in charge of our lives, the chance to make decisions for ourselves. bad stuff happens because good stuff just can't happen all the time... sometimes because we make bad decisions or because nature has a way of exercizing freedom too.
i know a man who is dying. the list of things that could kill him is long and he's suffering from all of it. i can't visit with him because i have a bad cold and just getting the sniffles could put him in the grave.
the closer he gets to the end, the more certain he is that God is with him. he knows that the lung cancer came from his smoking. he doesn't blame God for it nor does he expect God to cure him of it. instead his expectation is that God is there while he suffers, while he tells his family how much he loves them, while he travels back and forth to the hospital, while he enjoys what time he has left as best as he can.
"i don't know how people who don't believe get through this." he told me once. it's because he knows that ultimately they are alone, while he is never alone.
the fact is that i don't believe in the god that sam harris argues against in his manifesto. and maybe that's the problem. atheists don't know the God that i know; they only know the god of the fundamentalists and fanatics who more often than not spout judgement and impossible paradoxes of salvation they insist people are capable of achieving if they try hard enough.
i don't believe in a god who deems to save some while letting others suffer; i believe in God who saves, period.
i know just how precious life is because i know that God is with me while i live it. that fact alone is often the only thing that keeps my sanity from imploding when i'm faced with the bad stuff. my life, the life of my prince is precious because God is with us now.
i don't have to wait for some pie in the sky when i die instead i get to thank God for all the good things i am feasting on right now knowing that when the plate is empty God will be with me in my hunger.
i'm fond of saying that there are those who are going to be mighty suprised when they get to heaven... i expect that i will also be one of them. but in the meantime i will continue to trust in God and share my belief with others.
God's peace y'all.
searching for the sacred
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Monday, January 09, 2006
you want a definition? i'll give you a definition
or... it's not a shameless plug if it is for the pobble
or... the pobble is published!
my dear, dear pobble has her first book on amazon so ORDER early and often. i don't care if you have already take the SAT's, i don't care if you will never take the SAT's, i don't even care if you've never heard of the SAT's; it's only $9.95 and it's my pobble's first book on amazon!
i love my pobble!
God's peace y'all!
or... the pobble is published!
my dear, dear pobble has her first book on amazon so ORDER early and often. i don't care if you have already take the SAT's, i don't care if you will never take the SAT's, i don't even care if you've never heard of the SAT's; it's only $9.95 and it's my pobble's first book on amazon!
i love my pobble!
God's peace y'all!
back in the saddle again
here's the first sermon in a long time that i actually got to write down and publish here.
God's peace y'all!
God's peace y'all!
Friday, January 06, 2006
in need of a fix
hello, my name is cats and i'm a tv-aholic.
so, the cable guy doesn't come until sunday to flip a switch to turn on our cable. we've been in our little apartment since last thursday and without television ever since. last night i told hubby that i couldn't wait until sunday and his comment was that he hated to admit how much of a difference it would be in our lives to have television back.
when you have two small kids the tv can be your only form of entertainment. we've been renting lots of movies and i pulled out the season 4 of M*A*S*H dvd that i bought hubby years ago, but it's not the same. i missed er last night and i miss the daily show on comedy central. i even miss watching the kids' cartoons with them.
but not having cable also means not having the news. thank God i'm back on-line or i wouldn't know anything about the world. sharon being sick... miners dying... etc... and since i've been sick these last few days or dead tired from moving all i've wanted to do is veg in front of the boob-tube for a little while.
and then there is the fact that our cell phones get no signal at the new place which is set right between two mountains. i've become way too reliant on technology to be connected to others. i never called people on our home phone... in fact if it weren't for dsl i wouldn't even have a home phone.
ah well... it isn't too terribly bad here. at least i'm no longer putting $30 worth of gas in my tank everyday to make the commute from the hotel (which had cable and an indoor pool) and the prince and princess slept through the entire night last night for the first time in i can't remember how long. and the cold is subsiding and the workers will begin on the house by monday...
reminds me of a song by Eric Idle
Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...
And...always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the light side of life...
If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.
And...always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the light side of life...
For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.
So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath
Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a showKeep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
And always look on the bright side of life...Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.What have you lost? Nothing!)Always look on the right side of life...
think i'll go rent some monty python.
God's peace y'all
so, the cable guy doesn't come until sunday to flip a switch to turn on our cable. we've been in our little apartment since last thursday and without television ever since. last night i told hubby that i couldn't wait until sunday and his comment was that he hated to admit how much of a difference it would be in our lives to have television back.
when you have two small kids the tv can be your only form of entertainment. we've been renting lots of movies and i pulled out the season 4 of M*A*S*H dvd that i bought hubby years ago, but it's not the same. i missed er last night and i miss the daily show on comedy central. i even miss watching the kids' cartoons with them.
but not having cable also means not having the news. thank God i'm back on-line or i wouldn't know anything about the world. sharon being sick... miners dying... etc... and since i've been sick these last few days or dead tired from moving all i've wanted to do is veg in front of the boob-tube for a little while.
and then there is the fact that our cell phones get no signal at the new place which is set right between two mountains. i've become way too reliant on technology to be connected to others. i never called people on our home phone... in fact if it weren't for dsl i wouldn't even have a home phone.
ah well... it isn't too terribly bad here. at least i'm no longer putting $30 worth of gas in my tank everyday to make the commute from the hotel (which had cable and an indoor pool) and the prince and princess slept through the entire night last night for the first time in i can't remember how long. and the cold is subsiding and the workers will begin on the house by monday...
reminds me of a song by Eric Idle
Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...
And...always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the light side of life...
If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.
And...always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the light side of life...
For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.
So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath
Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a showKeep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
And always look on the bright side of life...Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.What have you lost? Nothing!)Always look on the right side of life...
think i'll go rent some monty python.
God's peace y'all
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
I'M BACK
back on-line, moved in the apartment and mostly moved out of the house.
on major cold-meds, banged up knee was rebanged up today... but i'm back on-line!!!
and if i could write one sentence that made sense i'd be in good shape.
time for bed and some benedryl (pobble, did i even spell that right, does it even matter?)
ahhh... what a life!
tee hee... i'm back on-line!!!!!
on major cold-meds, banged up knee was rebanged up today... but i'm back on-line!!!
and if i could write one sentence that made sense i'd be in good shape.
time for bed and some benedryl (pobble, did i even spell that right, does it even matter?)
ahhh... what a life!
tee hee... i'm back on-line!!!!!
Sunday, January 01, 2006
2005 a very ... something... year
december 24, 2004 we moved into a new home full of possibilities. the movers, who had included all sorts of extra charges in the final bill (nearly triple the estimate) unloaded our stuff into a house we hadn't even reached. under the direction of my mom, furniture was placed and arranged in the various rooms amid christmasy things mom and one of her friends had set up earlier.
when i arrived i had missed al l the insanity of paying the bill (a task accomplished by the then church treasurer.) mom had already begun to unpack and was in the process of making a hot dog on the stove for the princess kitty when i walked through the doors.
God, we loved the house.
the silent prince was still silent. he had been with the birth-three program in jersey working with wonderful and irreplaceable women: jessica the occupational therapist and wendy the special education teacher. by the time he was set up and working with new people in ct his hours had been cut in half and there we only a few weeks left until he was old enough to begin pre-school.
i loved work and its challenges. this was a congregation with resources and talented people. my organizational skills (or severe lack thereof) were balanced by a secretary who was excited to be included in decision making and highly skilled at her job. i loved being with the people and even made a girlfriend who my daughter nicknamed kat-kat.
and the pobble was now a 2ish hour drive away and we turned the computer room (for my pagan computer) into her guest room with the addition of a twin bed. the 'puter and the pobble certainly make for one pagan room in the parsonage.
the silent prince and the princess kitty turned 3 and 6 during the spring and received a swing set with a sliding board for their gift from us. and the princess kitty became the princess kitty ballerina/ hip hop dancer at the yMca.
sundays were now family days; church in the morning (where the children were absorbed into the congregation the moment they arrived until they were handed back to me when it was time to go home) and afternoons and evenings became time with my parents for dinner either at their home or ours.
it wasn't a perfect life. i went back on antidepressants and hubby struggled for several months with a difficult congregation. (which of course grew as he pastored and cared for them.)
life is filled with ups and downs and i came to jokingly but lovingly tell people at the church that it was a good thing i loved my job because they were a lot of work. of course this is the case for a church like mine straining to find health and wholeness.
and i started blogging. not everybody "gets" that. (but of course now that i am writing this out by hand in a $2 composition book i so realize why i blog... typing is so much quicker and easier than long-hand even though i still have to cheat and look at the keys.) and i love blogging and the community it has let me join in. blogging began because of a relationship formed at the desperate preacher site with brutally honest rick who has my heart and respect despite the fact that we have never met and our completely differing views on politics.
and then the holidays hit like a lead brick. and well, if you've been reading you know what that was all about. two years in a row we moved on december 28 leaving us unable to decorate a home or feel settled for christmas. and that sure put mary's story into perspective... no room at the inn, well at least we had the hotel (which i had become used to and enjoyed despite the close quarters and horrible commute.) and the people there were... well, they made a difficult time better and i told them that.
i miss the computer (my wireless card was pushed deep into my 'puter during a transport and the dsl won't be ready until the 3rd of january anyway. so here i am at my parent's place typing away...
and i miss the cyber community and time to work on my novel... i was well over 130 pages by the time this all hit and almost 2 months later i want a settled life to sit down and work on the story and the characters again.
~sigh~
and hubby's dad would have been 80 years old today had he not died the winter before hubby and i met so many years ago.
but i have felt blessings these last 12 months. even as i look back over what i just wrote i realize there is far more good that i remembered than any of the bad.
so... happy new years! continue to pray for us as it has certainly made our lives fuller and us stronger. over the next few days we pack up the house so that the abaters can begin their work on thursday. we see an end in sight and a new beginning on the way.
now i'm going to go eat dinner with my family, play with my children, laugh with the ones i love and give thanks for all the gifts that have been in my life.
i'll be back soon!
God's peace y'all
when i arrived i had missed al l the insanity of paying the bill (a task accomplished by the then church treasurer.) mom had already begun to unpack and was in the process of making a hot dog on the stove for the princess kitty when i walked through the doors.
God, we loved the house.
the silent prince was still silent. he had been with the birth-three program in jersey working with wonderful and irreplaceable women: jessica the occupational therapist and wendy the special education teacher. by the time he was set up and working with new people in ct his hours had been cut in half and there we only a few weeks left until he was old enough to begin pre-school.
i loved work and its challenges. this was a congregation with resources and talented people. my organizational skills (or severe lack thereof) were balanced by a secretary who was excited to be included in decision making and highly skilled at her job. i loved being with the people and even made a girlfriend who my daughter nicknamed kat-kat.
and the pobble was now a 2ish hour drive away and we turned the computer room (for my pagan computer) into her guest room with the addition of a twin bed. the 'puter and the pobble certainly make for one pagan room in the parsonage.
the silent prince and the princess kitty turned 3 and 6 during the spring and received a swing set with a sliding board for their gift from us. and the princess kitty became the princess kitty ballerina/ hip hop dancer at the yMca.
sundays were now family days; church in the morning (where the children were absorbed into the congregation the moment they arrived until they were handed back to me when it was time to go home) and afternoons and evenings became time with my parents for dinner either at their home or ours.
it wasn't a perfect life. i went back on antidepressants and hubby struggled for several months with a difficult congregation. (which of course grew as he pastored and cared for them.)
life is filled with ups and downs and i came to jokingly but lovingly tell people at the church that it was a good thing i loved my job because they were a lot of work. of course this is the case for a church like mine straining to find health and wholeness.
and i started blogging. not everybody "gets" that. (but of course now that i am writing this out by hand in a $2 composition book i so realize why i blog... typing is so much quicker and easier than long-hand even though i still have to cheat and look at the keys.) and i love blogging and the community it has let me join in. blogging began because of a relationship formed at the desperate preacher site with brutally honest rick who has my heart and respect despite the fact that we have never met and our completely differing views on politics.
and then the holidays hit like a lead brick. and well, if you've been reading you know what that was all about. two years in a row we moved on december 28 leaving us unable to decorate a home or feel settled for christmas. and that sure put mary's story into perspective... no room at the inn, well at least we had the hotel (which i had become used to and enjoyed despite the close quarters and horrible commute.) and the people there were... well, they made a difficult time better and i told them that.
i miss the computer (my wireless card was pushed deep into my 'puter during a transport and the dsl won't be ready until the 3rd of january anyway. so here i am at my parent's place typing away...
and i miss the cyber community and time to work on my novel... i was well over 130 pages by the time this all hit and almost 2 months later i want a settled life to sit down and work on the story and the characters again.
~sigh~
and hubby's dad would have been 80 years old today had he not died the winter before hubby and i met so many years ago.
but i have felt blessings these last 12 months. even as i look back over what i just wrote i realize there is far more good that i remembered than any of the bad.
so... happy new years! continue to pray for us as it has certainly made our lives fuller and us stronger. over the next few days we pack up the house so that the abaters can begin their work on thursday. we see an end in sight and a new beginning on the way.
now i'm going to go eat dinner with my family, play with my children, laugh with the ones i love and give thanks for all the gifts that have been in my life.
i'll be back soon!
God's peace y'all
Friday, December 30, 2005
two-second update
we are out of the hotel and in a 2-bedroom apt.
i already miss the hotel.
i have no cell phone reception at the new place and my wireless adapter for my 'puter got pushed all the way in during transport so no internet (even if it was hooked up.)
never fear... i have some options.
we are well. had a wonderful christmas with family and the pobble.
no idea what i'm doing new years except drinking (but not too much since the 1st is a sunday and i gotta work.)
here's to 2005 and to moving into 2006.
b'shalom, blessed be, and blessings, and etc...
God's peace, y'all
i already miss the hotel.
i have no cell phone reception at the new place and my wireless adapter for my 'puter got pushed all the way in during transport so no internet (even if it was hooked up.)
never fear... i have some options.
we are well. had a wonderful christmas with family and the pobble.
no idea what i'm doing new years except drinking (but not too much since the 1st is a sunday and i gotta work.)
here's to 2005 and to moving into 2006.
b'shalom, blessed be, and blessings, and etc...
God's peace, y'all
Monday, December 12, 2005
a blog is worth a thousand words
i have so many blogs in my head right now; things i've wanted to say, but just haven't had the time to write down. finally i am in the business center of the hotel and free to write for just a moment before returning to my suite to charge my phone and make the hundred calls that need to be taken care of before my silent prince returns from daycare and i need to find new ways to entertain him in our small space.
we are waiting to hear about a house and an apartment... today, please God, i want to start packing.
the hotel has been wonderful, but i am getting used to this life and i'm getting tired of the eloise syndrome that has taken over my daughter (and me perhaps.)
let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...
it snowed like crazy last friday. at least 8 inches that covered everything and created an inescapable winter wonderland.
years ago, when i was a teenager and beginning to feel the effects of depression undiagnoised until my thirties, i remember sitting at my bedroom window and wishing it would snow. actually it was more a prayer for snow. i wanted to replay a memory of dancing under street lights and big white flakes with the pobble, her sister and my brother when we decided to go christmas caroling. i don't even remember stoping at any homes, just singing and dancing in the purity of the beautiful whiteness that the snow had created. it had made me feel clean and that night at my window i felt dirty and deluged by dark thoughts. "make it snow." i prayed, but it was the middle of march and springtime was trying to make it's way into the world. i went to bed feeling defeated by life and woke in the morning to my father's announcement that there was snow on the ground.
who says prayer doesn't work?
God rest ye merry gentlemen...
hubby is a huge sports fan and despite the fact that the eagles can't buy a win he continues to be an eagles fan.
the hotel where we are staying is not far from ESPN and so it caters to several sports personalities, most of whom i don't recognize... until the saturday after thanksgiving when mike ditka was checking in at the front desk. i wanted so badly to go up to him and ask for an autograph for hubby, but it wasn't the best timing nor was the second time that i saw him... until the wintery weather covered all the cars in the parking lot with frost and the poor man was using a credit card to scrape his rear windshield as we were putting the kids in the car for school.
"would you mind shaking my husband's hand?" bless his heart he was pleased to do it and hubby, who would have lent it to anyone in need, offered him our ice scraper to clear his car.
it's possible i got a bigger kick out of it then hubby, but he's having fun telling the story.
on the first day of christmas, my true love gave to me...
Happy Holidays!" yes, i said it... that dreaded "h" word: HOLIDAYS!
again... a long time ago, as a teenager, working in the malls at christmas time i would say: have a happy holiday to the customers who came through our door. not because i was trying to take christ out of christmas, but because i was very aware that more than just christians shopped in our store and i wasn't going to try and make assumptions about which people were what. i wasn't trying to be pc, just smart.
so here's the thing. it's not christmas yet. it's actually advent so if christians really wanted to make a stink then they should insist that target put up advent candles and not christmas decorations in their stores. and employees should have to say: "happy advent" to the customers who came into shop for presents.
but that's ridiculous. the secular season is all about getting people to spend money. the religious season is all about waiting for christ to come. i'm not suggesting that christians don't do secular things at this time of year... but don't tell me that the stores need to uphold some religious principal this time of year. they wouldn't be able to do it and instead they'd function as hypocrites. let them be who they are. in other words don't put up a baby jesus to sanction what i buy...
well, that's all for now. i think i've said enough and it's time to make those phone calls.
God's peace y'all
away in a manger, no crib for a bed...
i want a home for christmas. this just doesn't seem the appropriate time to ask: WWJD? lay his little head in a feeding trough. i want to have a home to decorate, hang lights, put up a tree, remember that this is a time of hope and sparkling things.
i want a home for christmas. this just doesn't seem the appropriate time to ask: WWJD? lay his little head in a feeding trough. i want to have a home to decorate, hang lights, put up a tree, remember that this is a time of hope and sparkling things.
we are waiting to hear about a house and an apartment... today, please God, i want to start packing.
the hotel has been wonderful, but i am getting used to this life and i'm getting tired of the eloise syndrome that has taken over my daughter (and me perhaps.)
let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...
it snowed like crazy last friday. at least 8 inches that covered everything and created an inescapable winter wonderland.
years ago, when i was a teenager and beginning to feel the effects of depression undiagnoised until my thirties, i remember sitting at my bedroom window and wishing it would snow. actually it was more a prayer for snow. i wanted to replay a memory of dancing under street lights and big white flakes with the pobble, her sister and my brother when we decided to go christmas caroling. i don't even remember stoping at any homes, just singing and dancing in the purity of the beautiful whiteness that the snow had created. it had made me feel clean and that night at my window i felt dirty and deluged by dark thoughts. "make it snow." i prayed, but it was the middle of march and springtime was trying to make it's way into the world. i went to bed feeling defeated by life and woke in the morning to my father's announcement that there was snow on the ground.
who says prayer doesn't work?
God rest ye merry gentlemen...
hubby is a huge sports fan and despite the fact that the eagles can't buy a win he continues to be an eagles fan.
the hotel where we are staying is not far from ESPN and so it caters to several sports personalities, most of whom i don't recognize... until the saturday after thanksgiving when mike ditka was checking in at the front desk. i wanted so badly to go up to him and ask for an autograph for hubby, but it wasn't the best timing nor was the second time that i saw him... until the wintery weather covered all the cars in the parking lot with frost and the poor man was using a credit card to scrape his rear windshield as we were putting the kids in the car for school.
"would you mind shaking my husband's hand?" bless his heart he was pleased to do it and hubby, who would have lent it to anyone in need, offered him our ice scraper to clear his car.
it's possible i got a bigger kick out of it then hubby, but he's having fun telling the story.
on the first day of christmas, my true love gave to me...
Happy Holidays!" yes, i said it... that dreaded "h" word: HOLIDAYS!
again... a long time ago, as a teenager, working in the malls at christmas time i would say: have a happy holiday to the customers who came through our door. not because i was trying to take christ out of christmas, but because i was very aware that more than just christians shopped in our store and i wasn't going to try and make assumptions about which people were what. i wasn't trying to be pc, just smart.
so here's the thing. it's not christmas yet. it's actually advent so if christians really wanted to make a stink then they should insist that target put up advent candles and not christmas decorations in their stores. and employees should have to say: "happy advent" to the customers who came into shop for presents.
but that's ridiculous. the secular season is all about getting people to spend money. the religious season is all about waiting for christ to come. i'm not suggesting that christians don't do secular things at this time of year... but don't tell me that the stores need to uphold some religious principal this time of year. they wouldn't be able to do it and instead they'd function as hypocrites. let them be who they are. in other words don't put up a baby jesus to sanction what i buy...
well, that's all for now. i think i've said enough and it's time to make those phone calls.
God's peace y'all
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
i miss my 'puter!!!
i miss being in my own home
i miss being on my 'puter
i miss being able to put the kids in their beds UPSTAIRS and watch tv downstairs
i miss being on-line on my 'puter
i miss being able to take the kids right out front to catch the bus in the morning (instead of driving 17 miles on a major highway to get them to two different schools at the same time.
i miss chatting with the pobble on my 'puter
i miss being able to run next door to go to work
and then sitting at my kitchen table doing my work on my 'puter
i miss being able to put my clothes in my dresser drawers and walk in closet rather than carting them back and forth from my washer/dryer at home to the hotel
i miss checking in with all my cyber friends on my 'puter.
i miss being able to put the door out on the tie-out in order for her to do her business rather than having to take long walks around the hotel in the freezing cold
AND I REALLY MISS BLOGGING ON MY 'PUTER.
~sigh~
and i miss you all.
i miss being on my 'puter
i miss being able to put the kids in their beds UPSTAIRS and watch tv downstairs
i miss being on-line on my 'puter
i miss being able to take the kids right out front to catch the bus in the morning (instead of driving 17 miles on a major highway to get them to two different schools at the same time.
i miss chatting with the pobble on my 'puter
i miss being able to run next door to go to work
and then sitting at my kitchen table doing my work on my 'puter
i miss being able to put my clothes in my dresser drawers and walk in closet rather than carting them back and forth from my washer/dryer at home to the hotel
i miss checking in with all my cyber friends on my 'puter.
i miss being able to put the door out on the tie-out in order for her to do her business rather than having to take long walks around the hotel in the freezing cold
AND I REALLY MISS BLOGGING ON MY 'PUTER.
~sigh~
and i miss you all.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
abatement
hubby and i prayed in bed together last night before going to sleep. not that we've never prayed together before, but it's a practice we don't often practice.
over the last how many weeks has it been now? i can't even remember several weeks there have been an awful lot of people praying for us. people i don't even know have put me and my family on their prayer lists.
bloggers have prayed for me, christians, pagans, muslims, and jews have called out to God on my behalf.
it's amazing.
we are still in our hotel. ever have to stay in a hotel over a long-ish period of time look for a residence inn. they are awesome! i got into a conversation with another woman staying here and she said it was like being in the south. so true; there is nothing like hospitality in the south (and i'm a yankee to my core.)
i have so very little time on the 'puter now-a-day's and i miss it.
so, to my cyber friends and all the others. thanks for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers. keep it up, i sooo feel them.
and pray that we get settled somewhere soon enough that i can get back to this community.
peace to all!
over the last how many weeks has it been now? i can't even remember several weeks there have been an awful lot of people praying for us. people i don't even know have put me and my family on their prayer lists.
bloggers have prayed for me, christians, pagans, muslims, and jews have called out to God on my behalf.
it's amazing.
we are still in our hotel. ever have to stay in a hotel over a long-ish period of time look for a residence inn. they are awesome! i got into a conversation with another woman staying here and she said it was like being in the south. so true; there is nothing like hospitality in the south (and i'm a yankee to my core.)
i have so very little time on the 'puter now-a-day's and i miss it.
so, to my cyber friends and all the others. thanks for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers. keep it up, i sooo feel them.
and pray that we get settled somewhere soon enough that i can get back to this community.
peace to all!
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
genetics and the silent prince
Yesterday was spent taking the silent prince to doctors and hospitals. We began by taking him to the u-conn medical center in Hartford where we met with geneticists. They took our family history and examined the prince for 2 hours. We felt pretty positive about the 3 doctors who met with us. They were kind and interactive. They wanted to know if we had questions and really listened to us and then answered in ways we could understand.
I have a great respect for doctors. I failed biology in highschool; it baffled me. And then I had to take , what we called, baby-bio in order to get my science requirement for college graduation. But these doctors seemed un-typical.
There were 3 tests that they wanted for him. I can’t remember all the details of them. One test totally escapes my memory. The second test was a blood test that is given to newborns in the hospital and it looks for a whole host of diseases. CT tests for more things in newborns than any other state; 40 diseases. Another state does the same thing, but only tests for 3. we don’t know what jersey tests for… so it seemed like a very good idea.
The third test was for a genetic disorder called fragile-x, which happens most in boys because it affects the one x chromosome they have. Girls are less likely to have it because they have 2 x chromosomes.
When we asked what we should do if it was fragile-x the doctor said, “first you take a deep breath and then you come and talk to me.” As uncomforting as that sounds it was incredibly comforting coming from the doctor.
Finally we feel as though we are getting more answers. We were reminded that we might not get any answers, but at least there is more of a chance of them now then before. We want to know what makes our son special. The doctor even called him “charming.” Even if it’s awful knowing would give us a power that we don’t have now.
After the geneticists we made our way to the hospital where the prince stayed for two nights before we checked into the hotel. He needed to have blood drawn for a follow-up lead test. And then have the other tests drawn.
The people in the office didn’t do the test done on newborns, but they said they would try to get someone from labor and delivery do it for us. After they drew the blood they could take someone walked us up to the nicu, who were somewhat surprised by how old our “baby” was. They had to get a pa to do it for us. We sat outside the nicu and I held the silent prince on my lap… until my lap felt really warm; the prince had peed all over me. I looked as though I had wet myself.
One of the nurses took me to a couch and gave me baby blankets to lay him on to change him then offered to call up to peds to see if they had extra clothes. Hubby gave me his sweatshirt (so I could cover the pee). I told the nurse to tell the folks in peds that the prince said hi. (he had made an impression up there.)
Jim, the pa, arrived. We had met in peds and it was nice to see a familiar face. They took the test, which could have bee done downstairs and made sure all the paperwork was done properly. Again I told them how wonderful the staff at the hospital had been.
Saying thank you has become a profound and realistic way of acting out my faith.
Tomorrow is thanksgiving. We have hopes that we will be able to celebrate it at my parent’s home, which was tested for lead yesterday. But if not, the hotel has offered us a beautiful room to use for the 8 adults and 2 children (mine) who will eat together as a family.
This is the prayer my daughter will want to pray:
Come Lord Jesus, be our guest
And let these gifts to us be blessed.
Blessed be God who is our bread
May all the world be clothed and fed.
Amen.
But my prayer will be simple: thank you, thank you, thank you.
I have a great respect for doctors. I failed biology in highschool; it baffled me. And then I had to take , what we called, baby-bio in order to get my science requirement for college graduation. But these doctors seemed un-typical.
There were 3 tests that they wanted for him. I can’t remember all the details of them. One test totally escapes my memory. The second test was a blood test that is given to newborns in the hospital and it looks for a whole host of diseases. CT tests for more things in newborns than any other state; 40 diseases. Another state does the same thing, but only tests for 3. we don’t know what jersey tests for… so it seemed like a very good idea.
The third test was for a genetic disorder called fragile-x, which happens most in boys because it affects the one x chromosome they have. Girls are less likely to have it because they have 2 x chromosomes.
When we asked what we should do if it was fragile-x the doctor said, “first you take a deep breath and then you come and talk to me.” As uncomforting as that sounds it was incredibly comforting coming from the doctor.
Finally we feel as though we are getting more answers. We were reminded that we might not get any answers, but at least there is more of a chance of them now then before. We want to know what makes our son special. The doctor even called him “charming.” Even if it’s awful knowing would give us a power that we don’t have now.
After the geneticists we made our way to the hospital where the prince stayed for two nights before we checked into the hotel. He needed to have blood drawn for a follow-up lead test. And then have the other tests drawn.
The people in the office didn’t do the test done on newborns, but they said they would try to get someone from labor and delivery do it for us. After they drew the blood they could take someone walked us up to the nicu, who were somewhat surprised by how old our “baby” was. They had to get a pa to do it for us. We sat outside the nicu and I held the silent prince on my lap… until my lap felt really warm; the prince had peed all over me. I looked as though I had wet myself.
One of the nurses took me to a couch and gave me baby blankets to lay him on to change him then offered to call up to peds to see if they had extra clothes. Hubby gave me his sweatshirt (so I could cover the pee). I told the nurse to tell the folks in peds that the prince said hi. (he had made an impression up there.)
Jim, the pa, arrived. We had met in peds and it was nice to see a familiar face. They took the test, which could have bee done downstairs and made sure all the paperwork was done properly. Again I told them how wonderful the staff at the hospital had been.
Saying thank you has become a profound and realistic way of acting out my faith.
Tomorrow is thanksgiving. We have hopes that we will be able to celebrate it at my parent’s home, which was tested for lead yesterday. But if not, the hotel has offered us a beautiful room to use for the 8 adults and 2 children (mine) who will eat together as a family.
This is the prayer my daughter will want to pray:
Come Lord Jesus, be our guest
And let these gifts to us be blessed.
Blessed be God who is our bread
May all the world be clothed and fed.
Amen.
But my prayer will be simple: thank you, thank you, thank you.
Monday, November 21, 2005
taking a brain break
in an attempt to take my mind off all that's going on in my life here's the friday five (a little late, but i've been busy)
1) Earliest book you remember (read to you or by you)
cinderella, but my favorite was courderoy
2) Picture Book you would like to climb into
goodnight moon
3) Favorite series of books (then or now)
oh the chronicles of narnia of course (can't wait for the movie!)
4) Character you would most like to meet
morgan la fey from the mists of avalon or merlin from the once and future king
5) Last childhood book you re-read (for yourself or to someone)
there are always so many i can never remember
and you?
1) Earliest book you remember (read to you or by you)
cinderella, but my favorite was courderoy
2) Picture Book you would like to climb into
goodnight moon
3) Favorite series of books (then or now)
oh the chronicles of narnia of course (can't wait for the movie!)
4) Character you would most like to meet
morgan la fey from the mists of avalon or merlin from the once and future king
5) Last childhood book you re-read (for yourself or to someone)
there are always so many i can never remember
and you?
Thursday, November 17, 2005
waiting
we are waiting for the department of health to show up and talk us through what we are going through.
the queen gram is watching the silent prince at the hospital. thank God for my parents.
and in the meantime... thank God for all of you in my cyber community. i am overwhelmed by the prayers and encouragement from everyone.
so very, very thankful. so know that while you pray for me that i am praying prayers of thanksgiving for all of you. i feel strong and it's because i know that God is hearing you caring for me and my sweet, sweet boy.
the queen gram is watching the silent prince at the hospital. thank God for my parents.
and in the meantime... thank God for all of you in my cyber community. i am overwhelmed by the prayers and encouragement from everyone.
so very, very thankful. so know that while you pray for me that i am praying prayers of thanksgiving for all of you. i feel strong and it's because i know that God is hearing you caring for me and my sweet, sweet boy.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
like a LEAD brick
my silent prince has lead poisoning.
for quite some time now we've asked his doctors if he should be tested for lead and none have ever really agreed to it... giving us other rationale for why he is the way he is.
back during the summer hubby once again asked our new doctor if we could have him tested for lead and the doctor recommended a geneticist. we scheduled an appointment... the soonest it could be done was next tuesday. about 4 months later.
but the prince has been having tummy trouble at school; the explosive kind and the school nurse asked if we had ever had him tested for lead. hubby gave her the doctor's name and she agreed to call and request the test. and so i took my brave little prince to get blood drawn on monday.
they called today and he's been admitted to the hospital. the treatments are easy: medicine taken orally. but he will have to stay there until he can be released to a lead free environment. this means that the board of health will be at our place tomorrow to interview hubby and me and then set up an appointment to test the house for lead.
there is a very good chance that we have it. there is also a chance that he was exposed to lead when we lived in jersey. and a chance that both are true. if the lead got into his system back in jersey then there is a good chance that this is what has been causing his developmental delays. this means that the treatments will only help him and there is no way to describe my joy in that.
of course if the house has lead we will have to put all our belongings in storage while the house is renovated. it might even be in our pipes. and that will suck. thanksgiving was going to be here; my first ever holiday hosted in my home. our lives will be in chaos again this christmas (since we were moving here last christmas and didn't even put up a tree at the old house.)
but, i now know the worst case scenario and i'm ok with it. and the best case scenario... well the silent prince might need to be renamed because he won't stop talking. and i can handle that, oh can i handle that.
so, i ask for your prayers that God (or whichever deity you call upon) will bless us with the best case scenario and take us through this time and bring us to an even better place.
for quite some time now we've asked his doctors if he should be tested for lead and none have ever really agreed to it... giving us other rationale for why he is the way he is.
back during the summer hubby once again asked our new doctor if we could have him tested for lead and the doctor recommended a geneticist. we scheduled an appointment... the soonest it could be done was next tuesday. about 4 months later.
but the prince has been having tummy trouble at school; the explosive kind and the school nurse asked if we had ever had him tested for lead. hubby gave her the doctor's name and she agreed to call and request the test. and so i took my brave little prince to get blood drawn on monday.
they called today and he's been admitted to the hospital. the treatments are easy: medicine taken orally. but he will have to stay there until he can be released to a lead free environment. this means that the board of health will be at our place tomorrow to interview hubby and me and then set up an appointment to test the house for lead.
there is a very good chance that we have it. there is also a chance that he was exposed to lead when we lived in jersey. and a chance that both are true. if the lead got into his system back in jersey then there is a good chance that this is what has been causing his developmental delays. this means that the treatments will only help him and there is no way to describe my joy in that.
of course if the house has lead we will have to put all our belongings in storage while the house is renovated. it might even be in our pipes. and that will suck. thanksgiving was going to be here; my first ever holiday hosted in my home. our lives will be in chaos again this christmas (since we were moving here last christmas and didn't even put up a tree at the old house.)
but, i now know the worst case scenario and i'm ok with it. and the best case scenario... well the silent prince might need to be renamed because he won't stop talking. and i can handle that, oh can i handle that.
so, i ask for your prayers that God (or whichever deity you call upon) will bless us with the best case scenario and take us through this time and bring us to an even better place.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
interpreting calvary
now that i have a car with a cd player i dug up all my old cds to play when the radio isn't giving me anything good.
i've learned 2 things from this experience
1. i need some new music
2. i have fallen in love with one particular song that i never payed much attention to in the past
here it is:
Indigo Girls - Strange Fire
i come to you with strange fire
i make an offering of love
the incense of my soil is burned
by the fire in my blood
i come with a softer answer
to the questions that lie in your path
i want to harbor you from the anger
find a refuge from the wrath
this is a message
a message of love
love that moves from the inside out
love that never grows tired
i come to you with strange fire
fire
mercenaries of the shrine
now who are you to speak for god
with haughty eyes and lying tongues
and hands that shed innocent blood
now who delivered you the power
to interpret calvary
you gamble away our freedom
to gain your own authority
find another state of mind
you know it's time we all learned
to grab hold
strange fire burns
with the motion of love
fire
fire
when you learn to love yourself
you will dissolve all the stones that are cast
now you will learn to burn the icing sky
to melt the waxen mask
i said to have the gift of true release
this is a peace that will take you higher
oh i come to you with my offering
i bring you strange fire
this is a message
a message of love
love that moves from the inside out
love that never grows tired
i come to you with strange fire
fire
fire
I come to you with strange fire
i've learned 2 things from this experience
1. i need some new music
2. i have fallen in love with one particular song that i never payed much attention to in the past
here it is:
Indigo Girls - Strange Fire
i come to you with strange fire
i make an offering of love
the incense of my soil is burned
by the fire in my blood
i come with a softer answer
to the questions that lie in your path
i want to harbor you from the anger
find a refuge from the wrath
this is a message
a message of love
love that moves from the inside out
love that never grows tired
i come to you with strange fire
fire
mercenaries of the shrine
now who are you to speak for god
with haughty eyes and lying tongues
and hands that shed innocent blood
now who delivered you the power
to interpret calvary
you gamble away our freedom
to gain your own authority
find another state of mind
you know it's time we all learned
to grab hold
strange fire burns
with the motion of love
fire
fire
when you learn to love yourself
you will dissolve all the stones that are cast
now you will learn to burn the icing sky
to melt the waxen mask
i said to have the gift of true release
this is a peace that will take you higher
oh i come to you with my offering
i bring you strange fire
this is a message
a message of love
love that moves from the inside out
love that never grows tired
i come to you with strange fire
fire
fire
I come to you with strange fire
Friday, November 11, 2005
just beat them over the head
as part of my nightly routine monday through thursday i like to watch the daily show and then the colbert report (prounced colber repor) before turning off the lights and snuggling into my pillows.
last night stephen colbert had cokie roberts as his guest and he asked about life in washington dc. cokie described it as nasty and likened it to the days prior to and during the civil war when politicians would cane one another.
colbert, always the devil's advocate, asked her what could be done about the nastiness of today, was it even worth trying to change...
cokie (who i take seriously despite the fact that she calls herself cokie) said that yes, it was worth trying to change and that the way it could be done was by putting new people in power, but that would be difficult because of districting which has created a status quo where politicians are allowed to pick voters rather than voters picking their politicians.
she reminisced about the days when the people in power could be nice to one another. they were able to disagree but still get along... they went to dinner together, attended church together, socialized with one another. but now-a-days our political process has become so partisan that it's more fun for politicians to not like each other.
so what do we do about it? colbert asked.
and cokie's reply? "well, we could beat them over the head."
to say that i laughed at that would be an understatement. i'm surprised that i didn't wake hubby who was already asleep next to me. i actually wanted to stand up and cheer.
it has become more fun to dislike other people. i see the same thing in the church; people who have learned to dislike one another trying to make decisions together and it just doesn't work.
debate turns into argument and every disagreement or misunderstanding becomes personal attack.
and people who should care for one another turn situations into us verses them and them verses us.
hmmm... jesus says that we are supposed to turn the other cheek, but i wonder if there is any biblical support for cokie's suggestion of beating "them" over the head?
well, here's a stretch: jesus never backed down from a fight... of course he never used his fists or canes for that matter, but he also never avoided conflict or failed to use it to preach the good news.
fact is we don't all need to like one another, but we DO need to find ways to respect others again. it needs to happen in politics and in the church in our work places on-line and in every other aspect of our lives.
and there it is.
last night stephen colbert had cokie roberts as his guest and he asked about life in washington dc. cokie described it as nasty and likened it to the days prior to and during the civil war when politicians would cane one another.
colbert, always the devil's advocate, asked her what could be done about the nastiness of today, was it even worth trying to change...
cokie (who i take seriously despite the fact that she calls herself cokie) said that yes, it was worth trying to change and that the way it could be done was by putting new people in power, but that would be difficult because of districting which has created a status quo where politicians are allowed to pick voters rather than voters picking their politicians.
she reminisced about the days when the people in power could be nice to one another. they were able to disagree but still get along... they went to dinner together, attended church together, socialized with one another. but now-a-days our political process has become so partisan that it's more fun for politicians to not like each other.
so what do we do about it? colbert asked.
and cokie's reply? "well, we could beat them over the head."
to say that i laughed at that would be an understatement. i'm surprised that i didn't wake hubby who was already asleep next to me. i actually wanted to stand up and cheer.
it has become more fun to dislike other people. i see the same thing in the church; people who have learned to dislike one another trying to make decisions together and it just doesn't work.
debate turns into argument and every disagreement or misunderstanding becomes personal attack.
and people who should care for one another turn situations into us verses them and them verses us.
hmmm... jesus says that we are supposed to turn the other cheek, but i wonder if there is any biblical support for cokie's suggestion of beating "them" over the head?
well, here's a stretch: jesus never backed down from a fight... of course he never used his fists or canes for that matter, but he also never avoided conflict or failed to use it to preach the good news.
fact is we don't all need to like one another, but we DO need to find ways to respect others again. it needs to happen in politics and in the church in our work places on-line and in every other aspect of our lives.
and there it is.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
big brother is watching and charging for it
LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- The Internal Revenue Service has warned a prominent liberal church it could lose its tax-exempt status because of an anti-war sermon a guest preacher gave on the eve of the 2004 presidential election, church officials say.
more here.
i could get into SOOO much trouble. perhaps i will.
more here.
i could get into SOOO much trouble. perhaps i will.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Saturday, November 05, 2005
we the people
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
SEPTA strikes or resurrect rosa
one of the members of my church now attends college in philly, where i am from. i like that he's there because i get philly updates; i am and always will be a philly girl at heart. i just got an email from him that said SEPTA or the southeastern pennsylvania transportation authority, has gone on strike.
i remember septa being on strike when i was a senior in highschool. highschools in philly, unlike grades k-8, did not get yellow school buses and so we either received rides to school or had to take public transportation to commute for our education. some highschools gave students tokens (10 per week to cover the trip for 5 days) or you had to purchase them at student prices (which i did). purchasing was the way to go. if you were sick or lost a token they didn't help you out by giving you an extra and then you had to find someone to sell you one.
the strike was awful. i remember one friend who had to leave her home before 5 AM to commute to school by taking the trains (at least they still ran) and walking a long way in order to keep up her perfect attendance record. i can't remember how long the strike lasted ~ 2 weeks, maybe more. i just remember what it did to us kids in highschool who didn't have access to a car.
the day i stopped needing to take the bus was the day i stopped using public transportation (except for a few trips to NYC or to visit the boston pobble and when using the T is the best way to get around the city). i always hated the bus and the subway. it never failed to be late when i was in a hurry, or jam packed when i was exhausted and would have paid for a seat (which i had since it wasn't free). i hated watching bus after bus go by because they were full and people were pressed (illegally) up against doors.
and i always felt guilty as i drove by bus stops packed with cold, wet, and tired people waiting to go to work or home because i knew that i was blessed with a nice, warm, non-sardine-like car.
last night on the daily show the guest was d.l. hughley. they showed a clip from his new show where he talked about the death of rosa parks. he spoke with reverence when he talked about how she had made such an impact on our society because she had refused to give her seat to a white man. "look how far we've come." he said. "white men used to take the bus."
and there it is. who will be affected by this strike: the poor and the young.
i don't believe in reincarnation, but God, do you think you could send rosa back?
i remember septa being on strike when i was a senior in highschool. highschools in philly, unlike grades k-8, did not get yellow school buses and so we either received rides to school or had to take public transportation to commute for our education. some highschools gave students tokens (10 per week to cover the trip for 5 days) or you had to purchase them at student prices (which i did). purchasing was the way to go. if you were sick or lost a token they didn't help you out by giving you an extra and then you had to find someone to sell you one.
the strike was awful. i remember one friend who had to leave her home before 5 AM to commute to school by taking the trains (at least they still ran) and walking a long way in order to keep up her perfect attendance record. i can't remember how long the strike lasted ~ 2 weeks, maybe more. i just remember what it did to us kids in highschool who didn't have access to a car.
the day i stopped needing to take the bus was the day i stopped using public transportation (except for a few trips to NYC or to visit the boston pobble and when using the T is the best way to get around the city). i always hated the bus and the subway. it never failed to be late when i was in a hurry, or jam packed when i was exhausted and would have paid for a seat (which i had since it wasn't free). i hated watching bus after bus go by because they were full and people were pressed (illegally) up against doors.
and i always felt guilty as i drove by bus stops packed with cold, wet, and tired people waiting to go to work or home because i knew that i was blessed with a nice, warm, non-sardine-like car.
last night on the daily show the guest was d.l. hughley. they showed a clip from his new show where he talked about the death of rosa parks. he spoke with reverence when he talked about how she had made such an impact on our society because she had refused to give her seat to a white man. "look how far we've come." he said. "white men used to take the bus."
and there it is. who will be affected by this strike: the poor and the young.
i don't believe in reincarnation, but God, do you think you could send rosa back?
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