people i don't like

the following is my sermon for pentecost 23 october 23, 2005 based upon:

Matthew 22:34-40
34 When the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together, 35 and one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. 36 "Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?" 37 He said to him, " "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.' 38 This is the greatest and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' 40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."

There are just some people that I don’t like.

I don’t like people who don’t use turn signals. I was discussing this with a friend just yesterday. Turn signals aren’t to remind you that you are turning, but to let me know that you are turning so that I don’t cause an accident.

Which reminds me of a whole other group of people that I don’t like: bad drivers. Oh sure, I make mistakes when driving, I’m only human you know. But there are some people who are bad drivers… and I don’t like them.

Ever driven in Boston? Boston drivers are almost as bad as Florida drivers, who I have little fondness for. The roads in Boston are built over old cow paths. Now cows are not the smartest of creatures, they are delicious, but not good city planners. And there again… people who design roadways. I don’t like them either. The other day I had to go to Worcester (which is either pronounced wrong or spelt wrong) and coming home I missed the exit for 84 and had to drive 30 minutes out of my way. Whoever decided not to put one more exit in between… I don’t like them either.

And I sure didn’t like the person who wouldn’t let me merge into traffic the other day, he even honked his horn at me when I was forced to cut ahead of him… as if he owned the road.

And I don’t like mean people. You know what I’m talking about, people who just can’t be pleasant and seem to find excuses to make your life miserable. Ugh, I just can’t stand them. They are almost as bad as people who won’t shut up. I do not like people who will not give me a chance to speak. My opinion counts too, I should be allowed to verbalize it shouldn’t I? But no, they just blah, blah, blah, blah, blah as if they are the only ones who have something going on in their lives worth discussing.

And then there are people who talk too loud on cell phones in public places about personal issues. Those people drive me crazy. Go outside to speak to your girlfriend about the intimate personal details of your date last night.

There are just some people I don’t like.

I don’t like people who smell. You know who smell? Foreigners. And I’ll be honest, I don’t like people with thick accents. Can’t understand them!

And you know who I really can’t stand? Closed-minded people. They are so judgmental… as if they’ve never made a mistake in their own lives. I don’t like republicans. Just look at how they treat the poor (and don’t even get me started on the poor). Don’t like Democrats either. Most of them are morally deprived. I’d register Independent, but I don’t like Independents either. I mean, who do you think they are?

I can trust you all with this right? Because people who can’t keep secrets… don’t like them. Gossipers are the worst aren’t they?

And I know that I wasn’t going to talk about poor people, but I’m tired of hearing about them. I have my own money problems. I don’t really need to be reminded of theirs all the time. What, am I supposed to feel guilty because I have things other people don’t?

There are just some people I don’t like. I don’t like people who don’t like chocolate. Even if you are a diabetic, they have sugar-free chocolate… eat it, it’s good. What are you on a diet? Because skinny people, don’t like them almost as much as I don’t like fat people.

And then there are black people, now don’t get me wrong, I have black friends… I know black people, but there are black people…I just don’t like. Gay people too; I am sick and tired of hearing how oppressed those people are. I just don’t like them.

But then white people are the worst, especially Americans. They think they own everything. After all it’s the Jews who own everything and I don’t like them either. Which reminds me if you put a dot on your forehead or wear a scarf over your head… don’t even try to gain my favor.

There are just some people who I don’t like. I don’t like conservatives. They act as if I have to agree with everything they say or I’m going straight to hell. And liberals…they think they are going to save the world when really they have no sense of right or wrong. Don’t like moderates either… I just can’t like people who aren’t willing to take a stand one way or the other.

There are just some people I don’t like.

I don’t like people who drive SUV’s. I know that I have one, but I need it. Don’t people realize that the world’s resources are being sucked up by those vehicles? But then there are the environmentalists. Don’t those people ever give it a rest? I just don’t like people who try to make me feel guilty for forgetting to recycle.

And then there are the people who tell me that I’m supposed to love everyone… is there anyone who I can like less?

Love, love, love… how am I supposed to love people I don’t even like? I’m a nice enough person to get along with; but love my neighbors! I live next to a church for crying out loud… how am I supposed to love those people?

Whoever came up with that must have been a nut case. Lord knows I don’t like crazy people.

Yup, there are just some people I don’t like.