it was almost 4 years ago that i got down on my knees and felt the incredible weight of too many pastors laying their hands on me at my ordination. i say too many pastors because i had a great deal of trouble not collapsing onto the floor from their weight. my mother also laid her hands on me. she was one of my sponsors and was encouraged to be a part of that moment. "we were going to make sure that you got the Holy Spirit into you." she told me after it was over.
i can still feel the weight of the Spirit, which is a strange thing since the Spirit also has a way of lifting me up.
after 4 years i still struggle with what this call to ministry is all about and i see that as a sign that i am maturing in this job. when i first started i knew it all. now i realize just how little i really do know.
Jesus warned his disciples that they would be questioned for their faith and told them not to prepare a defense in advance, but rather to let the Spirit speak for them. so this is what i am doing. i will let the Spirit speak for me (though i do believe she appreciates it when i've taken the time to do my homework.)
my hope is that writing this blog will be like doing homework; stretching my creativity to new limits (something i have been neglectful about doing) and getting me back into the habit of writing again.