i couldn't have been in a worse mood yesterday. no one could do anything that was pleasing to me and everything they did do just really made me mad as anything.
i know that it is the detox that's making me crazy, but i'm beginning to feel bipolar with the mood swings from the cravings that my body is having. today wasn't much better except that i had to be at a conference which meant that i had to wear my game face anyway. usually that isn't too difficult of a problem except that i was certainly pushed to my limit when i realized that there were hershey's kisses spread on the tables we sat in for lunch.
i thought i could handle it, but i was already hungry and we had to listen to people talk before i could pull out my non-dressed salad for lunch. the only thing that saved me from scooping up every kiss and eating them wrapper and all was that there were people at the table who knew i was detoxing and therefore couldn't have any chocolate.
the worst part is that it is the silent prince's birthday (no, not a bad thing that he turned 6 today) but it was very hard to watch him and his sister eat cupcakes after eating brown rice and unseasoned and un-fried flounder. (at least it was something other than chicken.) and here i am complaining aboout detoxing rather than talking about his turning 6! some mom i am!
but day 5 is almost over. there were moments today when i felt good about what i was doing like at the grocery store when i looked into my basket and saw all the healthy, lovely fruits and veggies (of course i forgot the baby carrots) and earlier when i realized that i do want to continue to eat well after day 21 is over.
i'm also realizing that i need to find replacements for all the bad things i put into my system for comfort. a banana just isn't as good as a bag of m&m's and carrot sticks just aren't as good as a bag of doritos. and i gotta do that before day 21 or i'm just going to go back to eating the way i did a week ago. mmm doritoes and m&m's.
i am planning to go out for mexican once i'm done. i am fantasizing about that meal like a politician fantasizes about call girls.
and on that note...
God's peace y'all